


Masks

by abs2891



Series: Masks AU [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Politics, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst, M/M, Romance, Slight!MinseokXLuhan, Very Slight Chanbaek, masksau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 08:32:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 55,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abs2891/pseuds/abs2891
Summary: Lay was a stripper with sultry hip roles and bedroom eyes and glitter.  Yixing on the other hand, had been a struggling college student, and now was a struggling staff accountant, with a few romantic fantasies that one night stands didn’t really satisfy, and a love for hip-hop that had gotten him nowhere but a pole.  Either way, he seriously doubted the man in front of him cared.





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The is a work of fiction. The names and images of the celebrities mentioned are borrowed and are not meant to represent the celebrities themselves.

“You can’t be serious.”  Yixing deadpanned into his phone.

“Yixing,” Luhan whined back, “Please. One week.  The kids have finals and we’re understaffed.”

“That’s what you get for hiring college kids.”  Yixing said back voice unforgiving.

“You were a college kid.”  Luhan argued back, and Yixing sighed.  Yeah, he had been, and Luhan had let him off around finals too.  The fact that he did that, when he ran a strip club, of all things, said a lot about who Luhan was, and was also why Yixing was gritting his teeth into the receiver of his phone.

“Fine, but one week.  One.”

“That’s all I need.  Thank you so much.  You’re the best.”  Luhan said, sounding so happy that Yixing wondered if he’d ever had any doubt his whining would work.

 _Probably not._ Yixing sighed into the phone.  “Yeah, yeah.  Just make sure you have a table ready for me.”

“A table?  Surely you mean the stage?”  Luhan said with a giggling laugh.

Yixing snorted.  “You know I meant in the back.  The stage is a given.  In fact, it better be paved in gold by the time I get there.”

“It’ll be paved in gold once you dance on it.”  Luhan responded.

Yixing laughed sarcastically.  “Unlikely.  I’m not a fine as I once was.”

“Zhang Yixing, I saw you last week, and if you don’t still look fuckable, I don’t know who would.”  Luhan said back, tone critical, but also distinctly genuine.

Yixing laughed anyways.  “Careful, don’t let your boyfriend hear you talking like that.”  He teased.

“I can appreciate the attractiveness of my friends without wanting to actually fuck them.”  Luhan argued back, and Yixing flushed, fingers starting to trace across the desk in front of him, feeling a bit embarrassed, and therefore latching onto a quick sarcastic comment to shut Luhan up.

“Really, so do you want me to call Minseok up and tell him how ‘fuckable’ you think I am?”

Luhan let out a laugh that had just enough of an edge that Yixing knew Luhan wouldn’t comment on his “fuackability” again.  “Shut up, just be here at eight.”

“Nine.  I have an actual job that I work at too remember?”  Yixing reminded.

“Fine.  Nine, but know that cuts into your glitter application time.”  Luhan snapped back.

Yixing laughed.  “I’m a little old for glitter don’t you think?”

“Don’t lie.  We both know you’ll be rolling in it Lay.”  Luhan said with a laugh.

Yixing sighed.  So he was still stuck with that name too.  Oh well, and… yeah, he’d probably be applying glitter.  It might at least distract people from the fact that his abs were a little… well not quite flabby, but definitely less defined.  “Yeah, yeah.  Just make sure all your kids really do go take their finals, alright?”

“I will.”  Luhan promised, and then he hung up, presumably so that Yixing couldn’t change his mind.  Yixing couldn’t blame him.  He was thinking about it.

He sighed as he pulled his phone away from his ear, holding it in front of his face and staring at it as if it had betrayed him.

He shouldn’t have answered it.  Luhan would never call him on a Monday morning just to chat.  He knew Yixing had a nice, reputable office job that kept him busy from nine to five, not to mention that Luhan would normally be asleep in the morning given the hours of his own work.

It wasn’t like Yixing necessarily disapproved of Luhan’s career path as a strip club owner.

Yixing had stripped all through college.  It was the only way to pay for it, especially when he’d first come over at the age of 22, finally accepting that his dreams of being recognized as a dancer and choreographer were over.  

His language skills at the time were far from up to par for normal customer service work, and so, he’d channeled years of hip-hop and street dancing into stripping instead.  The transition wasn’t as hard as one might think, and while it was never what Yixing had wanted to do with his dancing, it was nice to have an audience for once.  

Now though, there was no reason for him to need to go out on a stage under bright lights and roll his hips.

No reason except Luhan, who had given him a job when Yixing couldn’t string more than a couple words together, and then, because that wasn’t enough, helped Yixing with schoolwork even though he claimed he was clueless (when he wasn’t), and found Yixing others who could help (when he really was).  

One of those others was actually who connected him with the right people to land his first real job, and finally on his last night Yixing had asked Luhan why he’d bothered and Luhan’s answer, like everything else, had surprised him.

Luhan had turned to him with a gentle smile from his seat at the bar well after all the patrons had left and the only sound was that of Minseok, Luhan’s boyfriend and bartender, finishing cleaning up behind the bar.  “As much as I like to say that there is nothing wrong with this business, I’m not dumb.  This job has a limited shelf life. You guys need an after, and I like helping you find it.”

Yixing shook his head.  “You don’t have too.”

Luhan shrugged and reached over to pick up the glass of water Minseok had just set down on the counter without even being asked.  “I’ve found that having dancers working towards something, other than sex, drugs and alcohol, makes everything run smoother so in the end, it’s beneficial to me too, and besides, if I’m ever in trouble, I know I’ll have a lot of friends to call up.”

Yixing had laughed then and smiled when Minseok threw up a glass of water with extra lemon for him before they’d left the club together.

He wasn’t laughing now though as he sat in the back of the club that night, rolling glitter onto his pecks as Luhan had predicted he would.  It accented things nicely, and distracted from Yixing’s… less attractive attributes, because no matter what Luhan said, Yixing new where he looked good and where he didn’t.  It was impossible not to in this line of work, and so, Yixing accentuated his muscular chest and his narrower waist, and drew attention away from his still flat, but not exactly tight stomach, and still toned, but far from muscular arms, as his eyes scanned the rest of the back room’s occupants.

Luhan was right.  He had amassed an impressive group of friends, and Yixing, who had always wondered at how Luhan could give the college kids time off around finals, was finally learning exactly how he managed it.  Yixing’s wasn’t the only older face running around the back.

In fact, he’d even seen a few of the guys now running around in various states of undress slide in to the back still wearing the typical suit and tie.  Luhan’s list of friends was impressive, that was for sure.  

Yixing wasn’t quite done marveling over Luhan’s reach when an arm was slid around his bare shoulders with a laugh as Yixing flinched.  “Chill Xing, it’s just me.”  Minseok said with a smile.

Yixing blinked in surprise as his eyes focused on Minseok’s smiling face above his left shoulder in the mirror.  Yixing’s eyes widened slightly as Minseok finished walking around him and plopped down to grab an eyeliner off Yixing’s desk.

His hair was spiked with what Yixing could only assume was silver hair spray.  He was also lacking anything in the way of a shirt, revealing musculature that just wasn’t fair, in Yixing’s humble opinion, and was wearing a pair of tight black leather pants that left little to the imagination.  

(It was hard for Yixing to justify Luhan calling him “fuckable” when he knew Luhan got to fuck _that_.  It was ridiculous really, but Yixing had long since accepted that Luhan was weird.)

“You’re dancing tonight too?”  Yixing asked, even though the answer was fairly obvious.

Minseok rarely danced, see never, as far as Yixing knew.  He had heard rumors that he _had_ danced, at the very beginning, but that had stopped once he’d gotten with Luhan.  He’d become a bartender instead.

Yixing had never really asked about it, but given what he knew about Luhan, he honestly believed that the change had occurred so Luhan wouldn’t have to deal with uncomfortably tight pants during working hours as opposed to occurring so that guys would stop ogling his boyfriend.  It would seem though that Luhan was willing to suffer through a couple nights of tight pants because Minseok nodded in response to Yixing’s question, smile still on his face.

“We needed the bodies.  Always do this time of year.”

“I’ve noticed,” Yixing said, eyes flitting around the room.

Minseok laughed at his tone.  “Yeah, Luhan’s got a lot of help he can call.”

“He’s probably assembled the highest paid group of strippers ever,” Baekhyun chimed in, sliding into the chair along Yixing’s other side and reaching over to grab the eyeliner Minseok had already put down.

Yixing turned to Baekhyun, a knowing smirk on his face.  “He got to you too, huh?”  Baekhyun had quit around the same time as Yixing, also for an office job, although he was working in entertainment, if Yixing remembered correctly, a far cry from Yixing’s riveting (okay it was somewhat boring, but it paid well enough) job as a staff accountant for a smaller company.

Baekhyun nodded as he layered the eyeliner on thick, camouflaging the lack of sleep that seemed to plague his eyes.   “Of course he did, and so I had to explain to my boyfriend of two months that I might have just stripped part time through college.”

“How’d he take that?”  Minseok asked from around Yixing, whose eyes had widened.  He knew Baekhyun had become attached, but he was surprised he’d just come out and told him he’d been a stripper.  Yixing wondered if he could be so brave.  (He didn’t think he could.)

Baekhyun shrugged as he dropped the eyeliner and grabbed for Yixing’s glitter, which Yixing let him have.  It wasn’t like Luhan didn’t have five more jars if that one ran out.  “Surprisingly well.  He’s in the audience.”

Minseok’s eyes widened a bit more, and this time, when he spoke, his voice was tinged with moderate concern.  “Do you think he’ll behave?”

Baekhyun didn’t answer as he shelved the glitter and turned his face side to side in the mirror, checking himself out.  

Yixing stood up and grabbed some gel, helping to style Baekhyun’s hair, and Baekhyun offered him a grateful smile before turning to answer Minseok’s question, a smirk arising on his face. “He better if he ever wants to get his dick near my ass again, and he knows it.”

Yixing laughed, and so did Minseok, some tension visibly leaving his shoulders before he redirected his attention to Yixing, who was now wiping his hands off on a towel as Baekhyun put some finishing touches on his work.  “What about you? Find someone special yet?”

Yixing shook his head.  “Nope, not yet.”  He said with a sigh as he dropped the towel he had used on the back of his chair.

“Have you even been looking?”  Baekhyun asked, raising a critical eyebrow.

Yixing shrugged as he turned to walk over to the rack of spare clothes, fingers trailing over fabrics, searching for something that felt appealing.  “Work keeps me busy.”

“As it does for all of us.  Put in some effort Xing or you’re going to wake up old and alone, and wear this, your legs will look long.”  Baekhyun added, pulling out a pair of black pants that was more horizontal tears than fabric.

Yixing appraised the piece with his eyes for a second before bending down to pull them on over the tiny red briefs he’d already donned.

“Thanks.”  He said sarcastically.

“No prob.”  Baekhyun said with a smirk.

“That wasn’t—“

Baekhyun smiled wider and leaned forward, pecking Yixing’s cheek, intentionally, Yixing knew, leaving the impression of his lips there.  It was an effect some people went wild for.  Yixing didn’t know why, but he resisted the urge to rub his cheek as Baekhyun pulled back.  

“I know babe.”  He said with a smirk, and then he turned, hips swaying as he walked away.

If Yixing had to guess, he’d say Baekhyun was going to go figure out exactly where his in attendance boyfriend was sitting, but he couldn’t be sure.  Either way, Yixing figured he should get him pointed out at some point.  He’d rather not hit on a man taken by Baekhyun.  (Or any taken man for that matter, but definitely not Baekhyun’s.)

“He’s still the same, huh?”  He said with a laugh, turning to Minseok.

Minseok nodded, laughing a bit too.  “I don’t think he’ll ever change.”  He said before focusing his eyes on Yixing’s face.  “So, what do you say?  You ready to go out there again?”

Yixing sighed and shrugged his shoulders as he ran a hand through his spiked hair.  “As I’ll ever be.”  It wasn’t like he had stage fright, but still, something about going back on stage after being away from it for a while was a bit nerve wracking.

Minseok smiled and step forward to offer a reassuring pat to Yixing’s shoulder.  “Don’t look so worried.  It’s like riding a bike.  Work as a stripper once and you never forget how, and trust me, your boyfriend will appreciate that.”  He said with a wink.

Yixing blinked in surprise before he blushed.  “I forgot how to ride a bike once.”  He admitted.

Minseok’s eyes widened and then he laughed, head tilting back a bit.  “Only you.”  

His head fell back forward as he laid on a few more reassuring pats to Yixing’s shoulder.  “You’ll be fine.  I promise.”

As Yixing turned towards the backstage curtain, ears picking up on familiar music, he sure hoped Minseok was right.

\---

Thankfully, he was, and while Yixing felt like his body was audibly creaking as he executed a couple twists and turns, no one else seemed to be aware of it.  They were just hooting and hollering, voicing their apparent approval through their volume and the occasional throwing of bills.

It was not quite paving the stage in gold, but Yixing figured Luhan would be plenty satisfied with green, and then, as Yixing went down in only his now barely there red underwear, his eyes went past the girls clawing near his hips to the bar.

He was trying to find Luhan to assess whether he was staying out for another number or going back in.  The sight that greeted him though, was that of Luhan talking to a guy who looked a little out of place, suit a little too polished and pressed given the typical atmosphere of the club which consisted of horny women in their twenties and thirties, and men of the same, although they skewed a bit older.

They appeared to be a having a rather in depth conversation, and the man was frowning until Luhan was pointing towards the stage, and then the corners of his frown turned upside down as Yixing’s stomach flip-flopped.  His smile was stunning, as was his face.  He definitely didn’t belong in this club, and that smile was tinged with just enough desire that Yixing wasn’t surprised when he was pulled off the stage.

He knew exactly where Luhan wanted him to go.

That didn’t mean he was just going to do it though.

When Luhan appeared in front of him, Yixing crossed his arms in front of his naked chest and tried his best to look intimidating, no small feat when he was wearing practically nothing.  Of course, his temper tantrum had zero effect on Luhan’s smiling face.

“Yixing…”

“No.  You know I don’t like private dances.”  Yixing said, shaking his head from side to side.

Luhan smiled wider.  “But that’s the best part, you won’t even have to dance.”

“What?”  Yixing asked, eyes widening.  Paid for sex was strictly prohibited on the premises—Luhan didn’t want to get raided, thank you—and Yixing could think of few other explanations than dancing or sex for the face the guy had shot him from the bar.

Luhan shrugged as he turned towards the rack of clothes and started rummaging through them as he began to explain.  “Jongin says half the time they just chat for the full thirty minutes.”

“And the other half?” Yixing asked with a raised brow, stepping forward to help.  He already knew he was going.  He just wasn’t going to make it easy.

“Okay, the other half he dances, but he swears the guy has never even tried to touch him.”  Luhan said as he pulled back with a pair of black jeans in his hands that lacked the holes of Baekhyun’s previous selection, but that Yixing knew to be notoriously tight.  Even if the guy wanted to get in his pants, he’d have a hell of a time of it if Yixing was in these.

“What the hell is he paying for then?”  Yixing asked as he took the pants from Luhan’s outstretched hand, jumping a bit as he worked to pull them on.

“I don’t know.  Jongin won’t tell me that, but you know there’s no way it’s a lie.  That kid can’t lie for shit.”  Luhan said, tone simultaneously affectionate and amused.

Yixing sighed heavily.  Yeah, Jongin was a terrible liar, not to mention the fact that he had a boyfriend who was more than a little possessive.  He’d left hickeys all over Jongin’s neck once, and Yixing had, had to spend several minutes covering them.  A few hickeys were fine, a bit flirtatious, but that many just sent the wrong kind of message.

“Fine, but thirty minutes.  No extensions.” Yixing said as he sucked in a breath and pulled up the zipper on the pants, having finally worked them up to his waist.  As he had anticipated, they were still so snug it was like Yixing had painted them on.  There really was no way they were coming off easily.

Luhan smiled wide, clearly grateful.  “Don’t worry.  He never extends either.  Just go, and please don’t piss him off.  He’s been lining my pocket for a month.”

“I’ll try to keep your golden egg laying goose happy.”  Yixing said with another sigh.  “What kind of look does he prefer?”  He added, glancing down at Luhan’s already selected pants.

Luhan shrugged.  “Whatever.  Jongin has even gone in in sweats and t-shirt, and I’ve not heard a complaint.”

Yixing blinked surprised.  Usually guys asking for something a bit more secluded at least had some kind of preference for what their dancer showed up in.  At the very least a t-shirt and sweats were rarely on the menu.  “Are you sure this guy’s normal?”

Luhan shrugged.  “Is anyone involved in this business?”

Yixing considered that before shaking his head, an action that treated him to another of Luhan’s smiles before he turned to walk away, leaving Yixing to finish getting dressed on his own.

\---

Eventually, Yixing settled on just touching up his previous makeup and donning a black ‘button up’ that was in actuality held together by snap closures that would slowly pop as he danced, which was the point.  By halfway through a routine, the silk like shirt would be flapping in the breeze, offering up tantalizing hints of what lay beneath, and only when everyone in the audience was clearly ready for more than that, would it fall off for good.

Now though, Yixing didn’t really know if the loose shirt would be falling off his shoulders or staying on them.  Either way, he supposed he might as well get a move on.  The guy already behind the door wasn’t going anywhere.

The second he opened the door and slipped inside, he was again struck by how out of place he looked.

His suit was too crisp.  The way it fit alone clearly indicated it wasn’t cheap.  The watch on his wrist was also definitely a Rolex, and his shoes gleamed, and that… that was to say nothing for the actual person himself.

He was younger, probably, if Yixing had to guess, around his own age, and his face, while perhaps not the most attractive one Yixing had ever beheld, was well above average and accompanied by neatly trimmed and styled black hair.

In short, he didn’t need to be in a strip club to ogle guys.  He could go to a club and score easily, of that Yixing had no doubt.  Especially considering his clothes, which spoke to more wealth than Yixing could hope to accumulate in years.

And then there was his voice, which was warm and tinged with amusement as it carried across the room from where he sat on the half circle booth that surrounded the round top table complete with a pole running through its center.  “Are you just going to stare at me?”

Yixing flinched.  “Sorry.”  He mumbled, quickly pulling the door shut behind him and walking the few steps necessary to get himself to a place where he could step up onto the table, berating himself for acting like some kind of newbie.  He had done this before, and he knew better than to ogle.

The one paying to do that was sitting in the red pleather booth, eyes widening as Yixing, in an attempt to cool his nerves, jumped from the ground to the table in a smooth motion.

The move was a bit of a risk.  He hadn’t been entirely sure he could pull it off, but because of that, the action had taken up the majority of Yixing’s focus, and by the time he had spun himself around the top of the table, one hand firmly grasping the center pole, he was back to being Lay, the dancer, not Yixing, the ogler.

He offered a sultry smirk down at the guy in the booth before spinning around the pole again, letting one of his legs trail through the air before he stopped and tilted back, letting his shirt ride up as he executed a backwards bend that had his body straining.  

If it hadn’t been for the guys words, the grimace Yixing had on his face as he pulled back up probably wouldn’t have been that attractive, but the guy’s question as Yixing leaned back, “Where’s Kai?”, felt like a pretty good reason to frown.  It was a bit rude to bring up someone else when he was the one there.

“He couldn’t make it today.”  Yixing said, as he studied the guy’s face for a second.  Instead of a frown, he smiled softly and gave a knowing nod.

“Because of his finals right?”  He asked.

Yixing’s eyes widened as he let his back slide down the pole, arms above his head grasping on as he went.  “How do you…”

The guy kept smiling as Yixing’s knees hit the table, the fabric of his already too tight jeans straining against the expansion of his thighs and a noticeable bulge, that, Yixing was proud to say, wasn’t stuffed.  The pants were just so damn tight that even the hint of attraction Yixing felt was extremely apparent.  

(Okay it was more than a hint, but Yixing was trying to not to think about how good looking the guy across from him was.  He was asking after a taken man for goodness sake.)

The guy’s eyes widened as Yixing knelt there in front of him, arms dragging up his sides.  “He mentioned it last week.”  He said, and Yixing was very aware of the way his eyes looked off to the left, away from Yixing’s body, after first raking down Yixing’s legs.  His own legs shifted uncomfortably, and Yixing decided to have pity on him, grasping the pole behind him to pull himself back up.  

Apparently, Luhan wasn’t the only one who would still classify him as “fuckable” and if the guy was going to try to hold a conversation about Kai anyways, Yixing could at least try to not make it too difficult.

“Then why are you here?”  He asked as his feet reconnected with the table, letting his fingers trail suggestively down the pole as he stepped to the side of it because Yixing wasn’t that nice, and if the guy in the booth was interested, Yixing might be too.  He didn’t necessarily like sleeping with customers, but he’d been relying on his hand and a few good inanimate friends for far too long.  A little tryst might do him some good.

“He said I would be able to meet some interesting people if I came by.”  The guy managed after taking a swallow, eyes still on the way Yixing’s fingers had circled around the pole, sliding up and down it slowly.  

“Have you?”  Yixing asked, stopping the slide of his hand and squeezing it hard enough to make the veins on the back of his hand pop.

The man closed his eyes and yanked his head in the direction of Yixing’s face before reopening them.  “I think I have.  Tell me, what’s your name?”

“Lay.”  Yixing said with a smirk, letting himself spin around the pole again before sliding a hand down his leg, the motion slow and intentionally sensual.

Impressively, the guy kept the majority of his focus on Yixing’s face.  “Lay… that’s oddly double entendred, isn’t it?”

Yixing smirked as he felt two of the snaps on his shirt pop as he flexed his chest, knowing that every move he made now would have his nipples slipping into view.  “It is.  I didn’t pick it.”  He added, letting a small disgruntled expression pass over his features.  

Back when Luhan had given him his stage name, Yixing hadn’t quite understood its other possible interpretations.  By the time he did, it was far too late to change it, and instead, Yixing got enough bad pickup lines about “Laying with Lay” that he wondered if he wasn’t about to hear another.  (He sincerely hoped this guy was a bit too classy for that though.)

Thankfully, he seemed to be, eyes darting up from Yixing’s chest to his face.  “Who did?”  He asked with a tilt of his head.

“The boss.”  Yixing grunted in distaste as he turned and popped the lower buttons on his shirt out of the man’s sight, leaving only the very center done up, and being rewarded with a slightly agape mouth as he turned back around.

“Do you object to his selection?”  The guy asked once he was recovered enough that he rediscovered his voice.

Yixing shrugged as he let his hips slide left.  “It serves its purpose.”

“Which would be?”  The guy asked, a tongue darting over his lips as Yixing let his fingertips trail around the waistband of his pants.

“Giving me a name when I’d otherwise be nameless.”  Yixing said, letting his fingers grip around the waistband of his jeans and pushing them down far enough that the red of his underwear was visible, which was about as far as he could push them without actually trying to take them off.

A small sound passed the man’s lips, but his voice remained impressively steady as he spoke.  “Is that preferable?”  He asked, eyes significantly darker than they’d been when he’d entered the room, hungry.  

It made a small shiver course up Yixing’s spine.  

Even less common than him deciding to sleep with an attractive patron was him finding one that made his body tingle, but this guy could.  The air was slowly thickening with desire, and it wasn’t just his own.  Yixing’s was seeping in too, and it forced him to take a breath before he dared to answer the man’s question. “It’s nice to have a name, even for this.  In some ways…”  

Yixing let his voice trail off, uncertain if he wanted to share this much information with a someone who he didn’t even know, but a small encouraging smile appeared on his face, even as his eyes stayed a bit tinged with lust, and when he spoke his voice was surprisingly soft and gentle.

“In some ways what?”  He asked.

Yixing let out a small huff through his nose, annoyed that this guy was managing to allay his fears while still turning him on, or perhaps he was turning Yixing on because he was soothing his nerves, the relationship between the two emotions was unclear.  Either way, Yixing was going to answer as he slid back down the pole, hips swaying side to side.  “In some ways it gives me someone else I can be.”

The man nodded in understanding, eyes pointedly on Yixing’s face, and Yixing became suddenly aware that the last snap on his shirt had come undone with his latest maneuver, leaving him even barer.   Yixing had rarely felt naked while he danced, but suddenly, he felt a bit exposed as the man offered up a knowing smile and a nod.  “Kai said the same thing.”

Yixing blinked back before nodding his head, ignoring the part of his brain that was saying that it wasn’t only Kai that could relate, the man in front of him could as well.  “I was the one who told him that.”  Yixing said softly.  It had been what felt like a lifetime ago, but he had, back on one of Jongin’s first days when he looked visibly nervous and tense.  It helped, disassociating one’s work from their true selves.  

Lay was a stripper with sultry hip roles and bedroom eyes and glitter.  Yixing on the other hand, had been a struggling college student, and now was a struggling staff accountant, with a few romantic fantasies that one night stands didn’t really satisfy, and a love for hip-hop that had gotten him nowhere but a pole.

The man’s eyes widened marginally, as if he was seeing Yixing in a new light, and his voice was tentatively curious as he spoke again, asking another question.  “Tell me. How long have you worked here?”

Yixing blinked back at him before pulling himself back up the pole and turning around, hands snapping a few of the shirt's closures back in place as he spoke.  “I worked here for four years.”  He finished answering as he turned back around, resuming his dancing in a slow and languid pace that would keep every snap closed.

If he noticed the reclosed shirt, he didn’t comment on it.  Instead the guy raised a single eyebrow.  “Worked?”

Yixing nodded back at him.  “I left a while back.  Now I’m just a desperate phone call sub.”  He admitted with a laugh.

The man blinked, then studied Yixing critically.  “How old are you?”  

Yixing laughed again.  “Old enough I won’t answer that question.”  He said back with a teasing lilt.

The guy let out a laugh and leaned forward slightly in his seat, eyes roving down Yixing’s body for a second before he redirected his attention to his face.  “Please, you look scarcely over… 23?”

Yixing snorted.  It didn’t matter if he was only 27.  Anything past 25 was old in this line of work.  “Flattery will get you nowhere.”  He responded.

The guy smiled up at him.  “I’m also past the age where I would think it would.”  He said with a laugh.

“Then what was that?”  Yixing asked with a raised eyebrow of his own, tone curious.

The guy smiled and leaned forward a bit more, hands gripping the edge of the table as he looked up at Yixing with playful eyes.  “A compliment.  You should learn to take them Lay.”

“Am I now getting lectured while giving you a table dance?”  Yixing asked, laughing lightly as he looked down at the guy, refusing to be charmed by his suddenly playful expression.  There was still a lot of heat behind it, just below the surface.

That, and the playfulness however, dissipated slightly in response to Yixing’s words as the guy blinked up at him in surprise for a couple seconds, shaking his head.  “I never said you had to dance.”  He whispered.

Yixing glanced down at him as he paused his motions.  “You didn’t tell me to stop.”  He whispered back.

The guy studied him critically for a couple seconds before tensing his arms and pushing himself back from the table.  “The view is… pleasant.”  He answered, eyes, gliding down Yixing’s form for a second time in as many minutes.

Yixing stared back, ignoring the flush he could feel tinging his cheeks.  “I don’t know whether to be offended by that or not.”  He said, sliding down to sit on the table across from the guy, legs going straight out in front of him.  It was the most comfortable position for them, given his current pair of pants.

The guy laughed.  “Don’t be.  It was another compliment.”  He responded, straightening up a bit in his seat as he extended a hand forward.  He moved it so slowly, Yixing had plenty of time to tell him to stop, but he didn’t.  Instead he just shivered as the guy’s fingertips made contact with his bare foot, trailing against it lightly before he managed a shaky response.

“Your compliments are strange.”

“So I’m told.”  The guy said with a laugh, hand withdrawing as he leaned back again.

Yixing blinked, and for a second, he considered chasing after his hand, but he quickly shook the thought away.  It was the wrong time, the wrong place, and most probably, the wrong person.  

Yixing was already beginning to realize that getting tangled up with this guy might hurt more than usual.  Fingertips on his feet should not make Yixing’s chest get tight, but this guy’s did, and despite knowing he shouldn’t ask, despite the warning signs flashing in his head that if he kept going, this was going to hurt, he asked another question anyways.  “So, why are you here?”

The guys smiled softly.  “Research.”  He answered simply.

“Research?”  Yixing asked, tilting his head to the side, confused.

The guy nodded in confirmation.  “I’m writing a book.”

Yixing blinked, surprised.  “So you’re an author.”  He said.  He had pinned the guy as old money and business, definitely not the literary type.

The guy smiled a bit wider and shook his head.  “Not exactly.”

“Aspiring author?”  Yixing asked, back to being slightly confused.

“More like it.”  The guy confirmed with another smile and a nod.

“Then where’d the Rolex and the Armani come from?”  Yixing asked, eyes flicking down the man’s form, and trying, to the best of his ability, not to get stuck at the bulge in his neatly pressed suit pants.  It was there though, and a part of Yixing’s brain was telling him that it’d be fun to see what it felt like, not just let his eyes slide over it.

“Observant.”  The man said with a note of approval in his tone.

“If there’s anything to learn in this business, it’s what money looks like.  So?”  Yixing responded, deciding to be honest and blunt.  Perhaps it would turn the guy off and he’d leave, and Yixing could avoid the heartbreak he was certain this was going to lead to, but the guy just offered up a small, dark chuckle in response as his hand stretched out to touch Yixing other foot in another phantom like touch.

“My other job.”  He answered as he pulled back again, still smiling, in response, Yixing could only assume, to the shiver that had once again coursed through his body, and the small hiss that had passed his lips as his eyes closed.

“Which is?”  Yixing asked, almost gritting his teeth as he opened his eyes, keeping them narrow to avoid letting them be wide enough to be read.

“I’d rather keep that to myself.”  The guy said, leaning back again, fingers clenching into fists.

“Along with your name.”  Yixing said back, letting a note of displeasure seep into his tone.  Secrets were necessary in this line of work, but that didn’t mean he was going to pretend to like them, not for this guy, not when he was fairly certain it’d be best if this guy was to leave.

“You can call me Suho if you like.”  He answered back with a small shrug.

Yixing kept his eyes narrowed.  It wasn’t a real name, but it was a name.  Sometimes, he didn’t even get that.  “Okay then Suho.  What’s this book about?”  He asked, curious to see where else this conversation would lead.

Suho sighed heavily.  “I’m still working that part out.”  He admitted, sounding more… frustrated than Yixing would have anticipated.

“And yet, you’re already talking to strippers.”  Yixing responded, head tilting left.

Suho quickly shook his head, eyes finding Yixing’s as he responded, voice firm.  “Not strippers, people.”

Yixing blinked, surprised and touched.  “Suho...”  

His voice trailed off as Suho continued to stare directly into his eyes, alarm bells in his head ringing loudly.  This was bad.  Yixing was falling for a guy whose real name he didn’t know, and who was willing to pay for thirty minutes of his time.  

He’d done that more than once before.  It had never ended well.  

Yixing bit his lip, fighting back the complex bubble of emotions suddenly at war inside of him while trying to figure out how he could get out of the room early.  He needed to get out, before he said or did something that could only lead to regret.

In the end though, it wasn’t something that Yixing thought of, but Suho’s cellphone that saved him, the shrillness of its ring cutting through the soft music of the room like a knife and breaking off the intense stare between them.

Suho jumped before fishing it from his pocket and staring at the screen.  He clicked it back to blank, but when he looked up at Yixing’s face, his eyes were already apologetic.  “Sorry, I have to go.”  He said, pushing up from his spot on the bench.

“Something come up?”  Yixing asked, remaining firmly in place despite the parts of his body, including his stupid heart, that were crying about letting Suho go.

Suho nodded once, already at the door. “Yeah, actually, something has, but I’m looking forward to talking to you tomorrow.  You will be here, right?”  He asked, and while it was impossible not to note the hint of desire still in his eyes, his tone was more one of wistful longing than of lust.  That realization did little to cool the uncomfortable ache in Yixing’s chest, or his groin, for that matter.  

Yixing vehemently pushed both of those sensations down, and put on a grin as he slipped back into the cool and relaxed mask of someone who had responded to that question a thousand times.  “Anything for you babe.”  He answered, tone slippery and smooth.

Suho blinked back at him, and for a moment, Yixing had the distinct impression that he might be disappointed, but then Suho was speaking, voice light and teasing, and Yixing decided he must have just imagined it.  “Then wear pants that aren’t so tight.  I’m concerned for your circulation.”  He said before disappearing through the door.

Yixing tilted his head back and laughed, loud and long.  

It was easier than accepting that he’d just agreed to meet Suho again, or being touched by his apparent concern for Yixing’s health.  

As his laughter died off though, he sighed.  

His long week was now looking even longer, and Yixing wasn’t sure if he was looking forward to that or not.

 


	2. Tuesday

Yixing spent most of Tuesday morning trying to call in sick, but every time he started calling, he hung up his phone before he finished the number.  It was like a game almost.  How many numbers could he dial before the little voice in his head saying he should give this a chance won?

Occasionally, it was after a single digit.  Other times, Yixing would be a tap or two away from the end, but regardless, every time, he hung up.  He dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.  It sure felt different.  Suho, or whoever he was, wasn't like the guys Yixing had fallen for before.

His manner was slightly more refined, his restraint prodigious, and his questions and answers an odd mix of genuine and flirtatious.  Yixing didn't really understand who he was or what he wanted, which was rare.  Usually customer's desires were easy to read, but Suho's were not.

As for his own explanation... Research for a book?  It seemed a flimsy excuse, but something told Yixing it wasn't a lie.  Suho had said he didn't have to dance, and when Yixing had stopped, he hadn't complained.  

No, he had just touched his feet, quite possibly one of the least sexy parts of Yixing's body, and yet, he'd done it so carefully and reverently it was like he thought they were precious and important.  

"Maybe he has a foot fetish."  Baekhyun offered up as he lined his eyes that evening.

Yixing snorted.  "Seriously Baek?  He wasn't licking my feet.  He was just touching them."

"Still weird."  Baekhyun said, placing his eyeliner down before turning to study Yixing critically.  Yixing shifted uncomfortably.

"What?"  He asked.  This much staring from Baekhyun never ended well.  Baekhyun cocked his head to the side, letting his eyes lower all the way down to Yixing’s feet and then looking back up at his face.

"Want to test it?"  He asked, a dangerous gleam arising in his eyes.

"Test what?"  Yixing asked, flushing lightly as his mind raced through several ideas of exactly what Baekhyun might be plotting.

"Whether your lover boy has a foot thing."  Baekhyun said, standing up and starting to walk around Yixing’s chair, now deep into his analysis.

"Whether who has a foot thing?"  Minseok asked, walking up to sit down beside Yixing.

"The guy Xing danced for last night."  Baekhyun responded, stopping his walking as he nodded his head a couple times, seemingly decided.

Minseok’s brow furrowed for a couple seconds before comprehension dawned on his face.  "Oh him.  I doubt it.  Hardly seems the type to be into something kinky."  Minseok said dismissively.

"But he is weird."  Baekhyun responded, seemingly determined.

Minseok shrugged.  "He makes normal enough small talk."  He answered back, grabbing some foundation and dabbing away at a nice sized bruise on the side of his neck.  Yixing reached to take it from his hands once he was done.

“You have some on the back too,” He murmured, dabbing away at the marks as Minseok let out an amused laugh.

“Of course I do, and before you ask, I don’t know his name.  He always pays cash.”

Yixing sighed as he finished covering the last of the blemishes on Minseok’s skin, unsurprised.  Suho  seemed the type to be careful.  If he didn’t want people to know his name, they wouldn’t.

“Anyways,” Minseok continued, turning to look at Baekhyun after offering Yixing a quick thanks, “What were you thinking of doing to test this theory Baek?  I'm curious."

A wicked smirk appeared upon Baekhyun’s face as Yixing groaned, quickly realising that whether or not he wanted it, Baekhyun was dressing him just so Minseok could see the result.  He sincerely hoped it went better than the last time, when Baekhyun had handcuffed him and then lost the key.

They'd had to use bolt cutters to separate them in the end, and Yixing had danced the night with broken handcuffs on his wrists.  That had gone over well enough, but Yixing hadn’t enjoyed getting the cuffs off his wrists later with the assistance of a firefighter with an even better pair of bolt cutters and a really wide smirk after Baekhyun had whispered who knew what kind of explanation in his ear.

Surprisingly, that same firefighter was now Baekhyun’s boyfriend, which explained his non-reaction to Baekhyun’s revelation.  He'd already known.  He'd just decided to let Baekhyun tell him when he wanted too, proving that Chanyeol was either very, very nice, or very, very calculating, and also, not as dumb as Baekhyun had thought.  

(Not that Yixing wouldn't have blamed him for not recognizing Baekhyun without makeup.  The difference on any of their faces was enough that a failure to connect the two wasn't that unreasonable.)

Regardless, Yixing hoped that tonight, whatever Baekhyun had planned didn’t require him asking for Chanyeol’s help again.

\---

In the end, Baekhyun’s selected outfit wasn’t going to require Chanyeol or a pair of bolt cutters to remove, but it was going to require Yixing to take several hard looks at himself in the mirror as he questioned his life choices.

Baekhyun had started with nail polish, an innocent enough accent, even if it was in gold, but the color should have let Yixing know that Baekhyun wasn’t going to stop there.  Instead, he started darting around the back of the house, assembling an array of items that all eventually ended up on Yixing.

The white harem pants that ended mid-calf, while somewhat sheer, were, by themselves, acceptable.  They even fulfilled Suho’s request that Yixing wear something a bit looser, although he seriously doubted that Suho’s request had included the addition of golden underwear that were noticeably visible under the correct lighting.

Nor he imagined, had Suho figured Yixing would be substituting the skin tight pants for a skin tight shirt, having been all but squeezed into a golden fishnet tank with holes so wide it was more connected strips of wide string than fabric.

However, even that wasn’t the worst part of Baekhyun’s outfit selection.

No, the worst, the absolute worst part, were the anklets, also gold and adorned with a plethora of tiny bells that jingled every time Yixing moved his feet.

He wasn’t a fucking fairy.  There didn’t need to be any jingling to accompany his movements, but there was, and before Yixing could properly voice his protest, Luhan was appearing to drag him out of the back and down the hall to Suho’s room.

Yixing trudged beside him, sounding like a Christmas sleigh and wishing to be anywhere but there, and then, he was pushed through the door, barely having the chance to school his annoyed face into something acceptable before it met Suho’s own.

His eyes were a bit wide as the skimmed down Yixing’s body, but by the time they returned to his face, they were back to normal size as a small smile played across his features.  “Did you dress yourself?”  He asked as Yixing, anklets still jingling, hauled himself up onto the table.

He knew he didn’t have to dance, but right then, Yixing was dancing for himself.  He needed to get himself back into a state of mind where what he was wearing was just part of the show, and he was a performer there for Suho’s entertainment.  His heart had already started racing right along with Suho’s amused grin, and Yixing needed it to stop, before it got too far ahead of itself.

Suho didn’t comment on the decision, although his eyes did drift down to Yixing’s ankles for a couple seconds as Yixing’s movements started to cause a less raucous, and more... alluring chiming of bells.  

It was possible, Yixing realized, to make the things around his ankles quiet on some moves, and loud on others. He continued to experiment with different amounts of force as he let his body roll and watched as some of the latent desire in Suho’s eyes relit.

Whatever else Suho was there for, that made Yixing extremely certain he was attracted, to Lay, which made a huge difference, because Yixing was not Lay, and therefore, he should stay out of it, so it was Lay who answered Suho’s question, voice sultry and smooth.

“Wouldn’t you care more about who was going to undress me?”

Suho’s eyes widened, and for a second, Yixing thought he was going to say yes.  He even thought he might try to do it, but then Suho laughed and shook his head.  “No, I care about why you look like a cross between a belly-dancer and something used to catch fish.”

“What, fishnet not to your taste?  It has a lot of benefits.”  Yixing said, reaching up to pop a strip of fabric against his skin right above his left nipple and watching as Suho’s eyes hovered there for several seconds before he shook his head and let out another small laugh, face lightly flushed.

“So it would seem, but seriously, bells?”  He asked, inclining his head towards the floor.

Yixing smiled back as he let his left ankle flick forward, holding his foot in the air in the space between them.  “They’re a nice touch, aren’t they?  They make it easier for you to know where I’m going.”  Yixing said, lowering his foot down on the table and slowly dragging it back towards him as he let a hand press up his thigh.

Suho sighed, and suddenly, his eyes were on Yixing’s face, and his expression was a cross between frustrated and turned on, but mostly frustrated.  It still took Yixing’s breath away.  “Would you just answer my original question?”

“What was that?”  Yixing asked, startled enough that the flirtatious note in his tone dropped.  He honestly didn’t remember what Suho had commented on first.

Suho sighed again and let his eyes glide down Yixing’s body once more before returning his gaze to his face.  “I would like to know if you picked out your clothes yourself, and also… could you just sit down?  Your bells are distracting.”  Suho answered, voice still a bit tinged with frustration.

“You sure you don’t mean me?”  Yixing asked with a small laugh, hoping to dispel the sudden tension in the air as he slid down to lean against the pole while sitting on the table.

Suho blinked, and then his gaze softened, turning thoughtful.  “You are too.”  He murmured softly, cheeks flushed.

Yixing smiled back softly as a blush tinged his own cheeks before pulling one of his outstretched legs towards his chest, effectively blocking most of it from view.  “That help?”  He asked with a tilt of his head.

Suho laughed darkly back at him.  “Tons.”  He answered with a hint of sarcasm.

“Well… is there anything else I can do to be less distracting then?”  Yixing asked, genuine concern dripping into his voice.  Suho still seemed somewhat frustrated, and Yixing didn’t like that it seemed to be with him.  He’d rather Suho be happy, at least when it came to him.

Suho laughed again, this time though, it was a bit lighter, more teasing and cheerful.  Yixing was less sure if it was real, but it seemed to be, and Suho’s tone was oozing with something Yixing would rather not put a name to as he answered Yixing’s question.  “Unless you can  change your face, I believe you will remain thoroughly distracting, but you've done enough that I think it should be possible for me to listen to your answers and actually hear them now, so tell me, why do you sound like the introduction to every Christmas carol that plays on the radio?”

Yixing coughed to cover up the embarrassment he felt about Suho’s comment regarding his face.  Besides, his current face wasn’t really his.  It was BB cream’s and eyeliner’s and glitter's, plus a few other things.  He doubted his real face would be as distracting, but he wasn’t going to show that, not here.  

Instead, once he was done coughing, he raised his face to meet Suho’s gaze.  “So, I’m not the only one that finds these things ridiculous.”  He said with a rueful smile and a shake of his outstretched left foot.

“Then I take it wearing them wasn’t your idea?”  Suho asked with an incline of his head towards Yixing’s ankles.

“Hardly.”  Yixing scoffed.

Rather than speak, Suho raised a single eyebrow in response, making Yixing laugh before he continued with his explanation.  “A dancer in the back decided to play dress-up with a life-sized doll.  I was the victim.”  

It was a reasonably accurate explanation of what had occurred.  Yixing should have realized though that it wouldn’t be enough.

“Any particular reason for that sudden desire?”  Suho asked, eyes flicking from Yixing’s ankles back to his face.

Yixing shrugged.  “With him, a reason wouldn’t be necessary, but in this case…” Yixing trailed off as he considered how much of what had occurred he wished to reveal.

“In this case?”  Suho prompted, tone curious and lightly prodding.

Yixing sighed before opting to go with the truth.  Something told him Suho would know if he was lying anyways.  “In this case, he was determined to try to figure out if you had a thing for feet.”

Suho's brow furrowed for a couple seconds before he let his hand reach out to experimentally flick one of the bells on Yixing's outstretched ankle and watching as Yixing stiffened for a second as it chimed.  “So... Like a fetish?"  He asked, fingers moving from the bells to trail back and forth over the rigid bones on the outer side of Yixing's foot.

Yixing shrugged his shoulders as he tried to keep the rest of his body still.  Any reaction he had would make the bells jingle again.  “More or less.”

Suho smiled as Yixing twitched when his fingers pressed against his skin in response to his words, bells clanging in a noisy betrayal. “You talked about me.”  He said, clearly amused.

Yixing fought to keep his voice steady as Suho slowly withdrew, leaning back in his seat once more.  “We talk about all our customers.  It’s only fair.  They come to watch us, so we watch them.”

Suho nodded once in response, expression contemplative.  “Did you say nice things?”

Yixing let his eyes rove down Suho's body.  His suit today was a deep, dark gray, accompanied by a black button up and tie, and a white ceramic watch, cheaper than a Rolex, but still quite nice, as was the smile on Suho's face as he realized Yixing was checking him out. Yixing ducked his head into his knee, a bit embarrassed at being so clearly caught and spoke softly.  “I could have been a bit more complementary.”  He admitted.

“Oh really?"  Suho asked, amusement slipping back into his tone along with mock offense.

Yixing smiled back, quickly regaining confidence as he nodded his head.  “I’ll make sure I offer a more accurate report tomorrow.”

“I’d appreciate that.”  Suho said with a laugh.

“Would you?”  Yixing asked back with a tilt of his head, allowing genuine curiosity to color his tone because, honestly, he wondered why Suho would care what anyone else thought about him, let alone him and his stripper friends.

“Well, I’d hate to just be the weird guy with a potential thing for feet, which I don’t have… I think.”  Suho said, laughing at first, but slowly sounding more uncertain as he went along.

“You think?”  Yixing asked with a raised brow.

“Your feet are causing me to have some doubts.  I’m rather fond of them.”  Suho murmured, fingers reaching out to trail down Yixing's instep in a motion that made his foot shake.  

The bells chimed cheerily as Suho withdrew while Yixing focused on responding to his words instead of the way it felt like his heart was connected to his sole.  “You are?”

Suho nodded.  “They make your body move in some rather impressive ways.  Remind me.  How long did you say you did this?”  Suho asked.

“Four years.”  Yixing responded simply.

“And why’d you start?”  Suho continued, eyes settling on Yixing's own.

“I didn’t say that.”  Yixing answered as he hooked his chin over his drawn up leg's knee.

“I know, but I’m asking now.  Tell me.  Why did Lay come to be?  I curious.”  Suho pressed, eyes tinged with a longing that wasn't lustful but rather inquisitive, desiring answers to questions that only Yixing could provide.

“Did you ask Kai this as well?”  Yixing asked, stalling for time as he tried to figure out how he was going to answer, how much Suho was allowed to know.

“Of course, I’ve asked several people.”  Suho responded, and the words were probably meant to set Yixing at ease.  They were probably meant to make him feel like answering was no big deal, but instead they made his heart clench as Yixing realized he was just one more in a long line of interviewees.  He wasn't special.  He was just one more in line.  

“Several strippers you mean?”  Yixing asked, trying to keep his disappointment from coloring his tone.

Suho shook his head in response.  “No, people.  Now, are you going to answer my question?”  He asked softly.

Yixing sighed and looked off to the left, away from Suho's eyes.  “If you’ve talked to others, I can’t imagine my story will be that entertaining for you.  The themes must all be similar.”

Suho sighed back, voice heavy.  “Money does lie at the core of most of them, but… the details remain as intricate and complex as the people themselves.”

“And are you interested in unraveling my intricacies Suho?”  Yixing asked, drawn back to Suho's face by the sincerity in his tone.  Perhaps Yixing was unique, even if it was only as everyone else was.  It was something.  Not as much as Yixing's heart was trying to make it out to be, but still, something.

“I’m interested in unraveling many things.  You are among them.”  Suho confirmed softly with a reassuring smile that Yixing tried to not read to much into as he spoke back.

“Well, hate to burst your bubble, but it’s pretty much your standard tail.  Boy travels to new country.  Boy doesn’t speak the language well. Boy finds—“

“So you aren’t from here.”  Suho cut in, stopping Yixing's story.

Yixing blinked, surprise coloring his tone.  “You can’t tell?”  He still had an accent.  It wasn't strong, but it was fairly obvious, especially on certain words.

“Accents can be faked.”  Suho responded with a shrug.  He left out the reasons why they might be, much to Yixing's appreciation.  He didn't need to be reminded that some people thought his being foreign was a point of attractiveness, especially not when the reasons for that were largely linkable to either Yixing's supposed inability to understand them or a general fascination with something 'exotic.'

“This one is very real.”  He said instead, hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

It was.  “Apparently."  Suho said softly, and Yixing almost asked about the concern tinging Suho's eyes, almost, but he shook the thought away as he continued his tail.

“As I was saying, boy finds job that will pay him despite not speaking well and works his way through college, picking up more of the language on the way.  Eventually, he graduates and finds a decent job.  The end.”  Yixing said with a small flourish of his hands.

Suho snorted softly in response.  “Something tells me that’s a gross oversimplification.”  He critiqued.

“It hits the highpoints.”  Yixing said back with a noncommittal shrug because it was, but it said what needed to be said to explain how he'd ended up at Luhan's club.

“Does it?”  Suho asked back, head inclining forward with a hint of challenge in his tone.

Yixing nodded back hesitantly, suddenly feeling a bit uncertain.  "I think so."

Suho shook his head in response.  "You left out what you were doing before you came here.”  

Oh.  Yixing blinked before slowly shaking his head in Suho's direction.  "I'd rather not talk about that.”  He said softly.

“Why not?”  Suho pressed once more.  

Yixing sighed and curled in on himself, drawing his other leg towards his chest as well.  “Because it reminds me of times when I learned that dreams don’t always come true, even if you try your very best.”  He whispered quietly, rejection notices and disparaging comments flashing through his mind.

“And what was your dream?”  Suho asked back, voice gentler, but no less insistent, and Yixing, Yixing had, had enough of Suho's questions.  They were prodding at memories he'd rather not dwell on.

“It’s not important.  Tell me, are all of your conversations with people usually this…intrusive?"  He asked, letting annoyance seep into his tone.

To Yixing's surprise, Suho flinched in response, and only after a couple seconds had passed did he manage to shake his head.  “Not really... or... I at least usually warm up to them a bit first.”  He admitted hesitantly.

“Then what’s the rush with me?”  Yixing asked back.

Suho sighed, eyes on Yixing's face becoming heavy with a sudden sadness Yixing couldn’t comprehend.  “Something tells me my time with you may be limited, and I’d... I'd  like to make a lasting impression.”  Suho said with an embarrassed bob of his head.

Yixing considered his words for a couple seconds before swallowing nervously and offering up his response. “You already are."

“Am I?”  Suho asked with an incline of his head.

Yixing nodded in response, not trusting himself with words right then.  They might give too much away.  They might already have.

Suho smiled back at Yixing softly, the sadness lifting from his eyes.  “I’ll let you in on a secret, so are you.”  He whispered and in a movement once again slow enough that Yixing could dodge it if he tried, Suho leaned forward and kissed one of Yixing's still clothed kneecaps.

Yixing's leg bounced as he pulled back and the chiming of the bells around his ankle had Suho smiling as he stood up from his seat.

"I'll see you tomorrow."  He said as he moved towards the door.

“But it hasn’t been thirty minutes yet.”  Yixing responded, scrambling to get to his feet, but stopping as Suho turned back, hand on the door handle, to smile at him knowingly.  

“But you’re done talking aren’t you?  Don’t worry.  I’ll be back tomorrow, not Lay.”

Yixing blinked and then just stared as Suho disappeared behind the door.  

He wasn't sure how he felt about Suho's words.  

He wasn't sure how he felt about anything. 


	3. Wednesday

“He kissed your knee?”  Baekhyun asked with a raised eyebrow as Yixing leaned forward, lining his eyes in glittering black.  He was not going to let Baekhyun dress him today, not if he could help it, and so, he was already well on his way to done when Baekhyun appeared, asking how Yixing’s previous night had gone after failing to catch up with him the evening before.

Yixing nodded as he set the liner down and grabbed some gloss for his lips.  It wasn’t actually something he bothered with all that often, but given the amount of talking, and little else, that kept occurring between him and Suho, he figured he might as well accentuate the things Suho would be staring at for most of their evening.

Baekhyun was undoubtedly aware of that, and probably already reading between the lines and attributing various meanings to the action.  However, as Yixing bobbed his head while pursuing his lips together and then proceeding to touch up the edges of the pink shine now slicked onto his lips, he just laughed lightly.

“I tell you, you always find the weird ones.”  He said, grabbing the gloss Yixing had set down.  “Mind if I borrow this?”

Yixing shook his head even as he protested the later half of Baekhyun's comment.  “I do not.”

Baekhyun laughed again as he spread some gloss on his lips.  “Yes you do, but at least this one seems weird in good ways.  I like this.  What is it?”  He added, turning the tube of gloss in his hand.

Yixing shrugged.  He didn’t really know.  He’d just grabbed it that afternoon on a whim and gotten some rather interesting looks as he’d checked out at the corner store.  As for his luck with men…

Yixing sighed as Baekhyun set the gloss back down on his table.  “He’s still good though, right?  Better than some of my previous choices?”

Baekhyun turned towards Yixing sharply, expression critical.  “Don’t tell me you’re already falling for this guy.”  He said, eyes narrowing.

Yixing sighed and turned away from Baekhyun’s face, tousling his hair in the mirror.  It wasn’t an answer, and yet it was.  

Baekhyun sighed.  “Yixing.”  He murmured.

Yixing waved a hand in Baekhyun’s direction, trying to sound dismissive as he fought back thoughts of their previous variations of this very same conversation, and what followed after.

Yixing would fall in love.  Baekhyun would tell him to stop.  Yixing wouldn’t listen, and then, when the guy figured out that Yixing and Lay weren’t the same person, it would end, usually with Baekhyun, Minseok or Luhan and several nice shots of vodka.

“I know.  I know.  My heart and my head just aren’t on the same page, alright?”

Baekhyun let out a huff through his nose.  “Well, try to get them to be.”  He commanded.

Yixing wished it was so simple.  “I am, but he just—” Yixing let out a frustrated sound and mussed his hair again, completely ruining the work he’d already put into it.  Baekhyun pulled his hand down and grabbed some gel, starting to restyle it as he gently prodded at Yixing’s frustrations.

“He just what Xing?”  He asked, letting his fingers linger against Yixing’s scalp, massaging gently.  Yixing sighed, and gave in to the sensation, allowing himself to relax before he answered.

“He doesn’t let me stay hidden.  He asks questions to drag me out instead.”  He explained softly.

“You could lie.”  Baekhyun said back, hands withdrawing from Yixing's scalp to apply a few finishing touches to his hair.

Yixing shook his head minutely so as to avoid messing up Baekhyun's work.  “He’ll know.”  He said, remembering Suho's face from yesterday when he'd been answering as Lay and not as himself.  

Suho had known, and he hadn't approved.  At least, that was what Yixing had decided was the source of his frustrated expression.

“How?”  Baekhyun asked curiously as he pulled his hands away from Yixing’s hair completely.

“Something… something about him just tells me that he will.”  Yixing said, reaching up to push a few brown strands of his hair slightly more upright.

“Does that matter?  You lie.  He knows.  You both move on.  That’s kind of how this industry works Xing.”  Baekhyun responded.  His tone was rather blunt, but he wasn’t wrong, a fact that had Yixing sighing heavily because yeah, that was how it was supposed to work, but Yixing didn’t want it to.

“He gets… upset when I do that.  I don’t like it.”  he admitted softly, knowing Baekhyun would read that response for exactly what it was: Yixing caring more about Suho’s opinion of him than he should.  Also, Yixing caring more about Suho’s happiness than he should.  In other words, two things Baekhyun could change no more than Yixing, but that he would still try to change anyways.

“And I don’t like it sounding like you’re getting emotionally manipulated into talking about yourself when you don’t want to.  Do you want me to go back instead?”  He offered.

Yixing shook his head.  He had no doubt that Baekhyun would do it if he asked him to, but Yixing didn’t want Baekhyun to go back instead of him.  

No, Yixing wanted to go back, and if it eventually led to vodka shots, Yixing figured he could just buy Baekhyun’s as compensation for not bowing out earlier when given the chance.

“No, and it’s not… it’s not like that.  Not exactly.”  Yixing murmured softly, because he had been allowed to stop answering.  Suho had left when that occurred, but he had been allowed to stop.

Baekhyun sighed, concern tinging his voice and his eyes.  “Be careful Xing.”  He whispered, fingers trailing over Yixing’s shoulder before squeezing it gently.

“I am being careful.”  Yixing responded, reaching up to pat Baekhyun’s hand reassuringly.  Even if this did hurt, he was fairly certain it wouldn’t go the direction of his worst mistakes (I.e. the ones that had ended with bruises and pain reliever.)

“Carefuler.”  Baekhyun amended with another squeeze before withdrawing his hand.

“That’s not a word.”  Yixing teased trying to lighten the mood.

Baekhyun offered up a half-smile as he lightly whacked Yixing’s shoulder.  “You know what I mean.”

Yixing nodded once.  “I do, and...I’ll try.”  He whispered softly as Baekhyun turned to walk away.  

Yixing hoped his warnings were unnecessary and his fears unfounded, but he lacked anything in the way of support for those dreams.

\---

Yixing wasn’t exactly sure what he had expected Suho’s first comment to be when he walked in, in a pair of black jeans that laced up the sides and a grey, corset style vest that laced up his back, but it definitely wasn’t the comment he got.

“You dressed yourself today.”  Suho murmured, eyes drifting down Yixing’s body slowly, almost lazily, as if he had all the time in the world to look at Yixing’s form as opposed to just thirty minutes that he’d already cut short twice.

Yixing smiled through a light blush and pulled himself up onto the table, turning around so Suho could appreciate the lacing of the strings up his back.  Outfits like this were more tricky and time consuming, but that was what made them striking, their complexity.  Yixing liked that about them, and he figured Suho might as well.

He definitely didn’t seem to be complaining as Yixing flexed his shoulders, letting the corset strain against the expansion of his body before turning his head to look over his shoulder and respond to Suho’s statement.  His eyes were focused on Lay’s back, seemingly tracing the pattern of the ties with his eyes, but as Yixing began to speak, his gaze moved to Yixing’s face, where it remained, although Yixing got the distinct impression Suho was focused on his lips, not his eyes.  

The realization made him smile inside.  Cleary, lip-gloss had been the right idea.

“You can tell?”  Yixing asked with another flex of his spine.

Suho nodded once, eyes still on Yixing’s lips.  “Yes.  It’s less… ostentatious.  Seems a bit more like you.”  He clarified.  

Yixing frowned a bit in response before shaking his head as he spun around to face Suho head on again, sliding down to sit on the table in front of him.  

Today, there would be no dancing. Suho was ready to talk.  Yixing hoped he was ready to do the same.

“None of this is me.”  He responded with a sigh once he was firmly seated on the table top.

“Isn’t it?”  Suho responded with a tilt of his head.

“Then why did you say good bye to ‘not Lay’ yesterday?” Yixing asked back, brow furrowing slightly, struggling to understand what Suho’s previous words meant if not that.

Suho blinked once, expression turning thoughtful for several seconds before he spoke, choosing his words carefully.  “Because I don’t believe you are Lay, but I do believe that parts of him come from you.”

“Why?”  Yixing asked, curious to see if Suho could name any part of him that Yixing would agree with, because there were a few of Lay’s attributes, very few mind you, that Yixing would acknowledge as being firmly rooted in his own.  

Of course, given how every other one of his conversations with Suho had went, Yixing supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised when Suho nailed one right off the bat.

“Your dancing, for one.”  He responded, eyes drifting back down to Yixing’s feet as he spoke.  His hands didn’t reach out to touch them though, and Yixing was suddenly struck by how much he wanted Suho to do just that, wanted Suho to touch him anywhere.

In a daring move Yixing hoped he wouldn’t later come to regret, he propelled himself forward on the table until his knees curled over its edge.  Suho’s eyes widened in response, and they stayed wide as Lay let his legs extend forward, toes brushing against Suho’s calves.

“How do you figure that?”  Yixing asked as he watched Suho’s eyes fall closed while a couple of tremors rippled through his form.  Yixing lifted his feet to press them down onto the tops of Suho’s thighs, and the trembling stopped with a small groan before Suho’s hands were moving, pushing Yixing’s feet off his legs with gentle but insistent force.

Yixing let him do it, his sudden unexpected desire to touch Suho sated, and once his legs were safely dangling in the gap between the bench and the table, Suho answered Yixing’s question, voice a bit breathy.

“You left out the part of your story where you learned how to dance.  That either means you learned it very quickly, or, you already knew how.  Between the two options, I’m inclined to believe the former.”

“Why?”  Yixing asked, head cocking to the side as he let one of his legs swing forward to bump Suho’s knee before withdrawing it quickly out of his immediate reach.  Suho’s hand didn’t dart forward to even try to grab him anyways.  Instead he just shrugged.

“It’s difficult to explain but… I don’t know… people who danced before just have this aura about them.  I saw it in Kai, and I see it in you.”  He answered, clearly struggling to explain his thoughts.

“Is that aura a bad thing?”  Yixing asked, leg swinging forward and back again, bumping into Suho once more.

Suho shook his head.  “No.  I’m not… I’m not wrong, am I?”  He asked hesitantly, voice dropping in volume as he expressed some uncertainty.

Yixing shook his head back and forth as he allowed a small smile to arise on his face.  He didn’t necessarily want to talk about this.  He’d avoided talking about it only yesterday, but it was clear Suho wanted to know, for some unfathomable reason.  

Even more unfathomable though?  The fact that Yixing thought he could tell him, if that was the case.

“You’re not.”  He confirmed.

A great deal of nervousness in Suho’s expression disappeared, replaced almost instantly by a smile and warm brown eyes that were just the tiniest bit tinged by lust. The majority of their warmth however, bespoke curiosity and joy, and Yixing wondered if anyone had ever looked so excited just to hear that he had danced before.

“So, what kind of dance did you do?”  Suho asked, eyes raking down Lay’s form.  

Surprisingly, Yixing didn’t really blush at the scrutiny.  He was getting somewhat used to it, Suho’s sudden, long, and measured glances.  He seemed to do them for any number of reasons, many of which Yixing couldn’t guess, but in this case he thought he had a very good idea.  Suho was attempting to find anything he could on Yixing's body that would tell him what kind of dance Yixing had done, an interpretation enforced by Suho’s very next words as his eyes settled on Yixing’s dangling feet.

“Surely, not ballet.”  He whispered, fingers reaching out as far as they could go to graze over Yixing's toes. They curled upon contact, and Yixing held back a whimper as a small zing of electricity lanced up his spine.

Maybe it wasn’t Suho with the foot fetish.  Perhaps it was him.  

“Your feet aren’t beat up enough for that.”  Suho murmured, withdrawing his fingers after a couple more seconds.

Yixing released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, feeling a bit light headed as he whispered out his response.  “Is that why you keep touching them, to see if they are?”

“No.”  Suho responded voice equally soft.  His hand extended as he leaned slightly forward, drawing a line with his index finger from the front of Yixing's ankle all the way down to his big toe, which he tapped lightly.  

Yixing's foot bounced in the air, and he tensed his calf trying to hold it in place.

“Then why—“ Yixing’s voice cut off as Suho's finger reconnected with his opposite foot.  

“Like I told you yesterday."  Suho said, voice still soft, but now also a touch alluring.  "I like them.  That’s not a problem, right?”  

Yixing swallowed dryly around an unexpected knot in his throat.  “No.”  He whimpered, toes curling again as he wondered who exactly was the one trained to be a tease.  

“Good.”  Suho said darkly as he leaned forward a bit more, hand squeezing around Yixing’s foot before sliding up and down it a few times, the strokes long and slow.  Yixing tried not to think too hard about the movements, or rather, what else Suho could wrap his hand around, trying, instead, to focus on his continued words.  “So, what style of dance was it then?”

Yixing took a mildly ragged sounding breath as he pulled back his foot from Suho’s grasp while trying to explain.  “I liked a mix of styles, but basically hip-hop, if you were to lump them all together.”

“Can I see it?”  Suho asked, hand dropping back down to rest against his thigh, which Yixing was not going to touch again.  He had the distinct impression that his decision to do so earlier was what had prompted Suho’s impromptu foot massage.  I.e. Yixing had crossed over a line first, and so Suho had followed suit.  Below the surface, that made Yixing wonder how many more lines he could, and should, cross, but above the water, he just snorted instead.

“I'm hardly dressed for that.”  He responded while inclining his head towards his jeans.  They were too tight for hip-hop, as was his vest.

“Tomorrow.”  Suho said with a tilt of his head.  It was supposed to be a question.  At least Yixing thought it was, but it didn't quite sound like one.  Suho's voice was a touch too insistent, a touch too pressing, for that.

“I’ll think about it."  Yixing conceded.  It had been quite a while since he’d danced, in that way, for anyone but himself.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to change that, or if he’d end up looking foolish if he tried.

“I’d like to see it.”  Suho responded genuinely, expression so sincere Yixing’s voice died in his throat for a couple seconds before he managed to whisper softly.

“Why?”

Suho offered a tiny, hesitant smile.  “Because, it’s what you’d like to be doing, isn’t it?”

Yixing stared, just stared, with his mouth slightly agape.  Then he sighed, one of his hands squeezing into a fist as he looked away from Suho’s face.  Being so thoroughly read was a bit unnerving.  “I abandoned that a long time ago.”  He said, voice barely audible.  

“I know.”  Suho whispered back, hand reaching out towards Yixing’s calf, squeezing gently.  

Yixing jumped at the contact, not expecting it, and his head snapped back towards Suho, whose eyes had widened in surprise.  They retracted as Yixing’s own surprised eyes met his, and his hand loosened its grip on Yixing’s calf to start trailing up and down it instead as his expression entered back into its usual contemplative and questioning form.

“Do you regret it?”  He whispered softly.

Yixing laughed darkly.  “Regret is for the weak.” And Yixing wasn’t weak, or at least, he tried not to be.

Suho shrugged.  “Even so.”

Yixing sighed, letting his eyes study the movements of Suho’s hand against his calf for several moments before he decided to respond.  “Yes.”

He did.  Yixing did regret giving up on becoming a dancer, but what could he do?  The harsh reality was that food and financial stability trumped that dream a long time ago.  

Suho’s hand stopped its movement, squeezing around Yixing’s calf once more.  “Why not try again?”  He asked, eyes steady on Yixing’s face.

Yixing sighed and looked away from Suho once more.  Maybe if he didn’t look at him, then Suho wouldn’t see the disappointment in his eyes, or the regret he already knew was there, maybe Yixing could keep something to himself.  He seriously doubted it though.  “Because some dreams are best let go.” He said, voice lonely and soft.

“But some are worth holding on to.”  Suho responded, tone insistent.

“Perhaps,” Yixing acknowledged with an incline of his head, “but how can you tell the difference?”

“I think people spend their entire lives struggling to figure that out.”  Suho answered, leaning forward slowly in order to connect his hand with the side of Yixing’s face.

Yixing saw it coming out of the corner of his eye, and like so many times before, he had time to move, but he didn’t.  He let Suho’s hand connect.  He let Suho redirect his head forward so they were looking at each other once more.  “Don’t you?”  He continued, thumb starting to stroke across Yixing’s cheek in a movement Yixing wondered if Suho was truly conscious of.

Yixing nodded into his palm.  “Yeah.”  He breathed out, mildy breathless.  

Suho had never been this close before, having had to slide forward on the bench quite a bit in order to reach Yixing’s cheek, and from this distance, Yixing could see the tiny crinkling of his skin at the corners of his eyes, he could make out the different shades of brown in his dark hair, and he could tell that his lips were slightly chapped, and all of that was combining into Yixing realizing Suho was probably already way too close when he said something that left Yixing more than a little stunned.

“Are you gay?”

Yixing choked in surprise.  “What?”  He asked, surprised he managed the word around his disbelief.

Suho blushed, and his eyes flicked downwards away from Yixing’s but he didn’t withdraw his hand.  He also didn’t pull back his face, but he did apologize, head bobbing slightly.  “Sorry, that was a bit forward.”  He mumbled.

“You think?”  Yixing said back, tone still rife with disbelief.  He’d been asked this before, in a variety of ways, but never one that was quite so… direct.  Then again, at least Suho was asking.  Some hadn’t even bothered with that, and his sudden lack of tact was charming in a way.  Amusing too.

“Is there a better a way to ask?”  Suho responded, eyes going back to Yixing’s face, clearly nervous.  His lower lip slipped into his mouth as his teeth bit into it after his words passed his lips.

Lay stared at that for a couple seconds, watching the way Suho’s lip popped out slowly, moist and plump from its journey inside of his mouth, and then he answered, ignoring all the sirens in his head telling him that this was the farthest thing from careful he could be, that it didn’t even hold to his own usual preference for being asked, in some way, if he was interested first.  “You could just kiss me.”

Suho stared at him for a couple seconds, and then he snorted, thumb resuming its stroking of Yixing’s cheek as he laughed.  “I’d rather not get punched thanks.”

“I can’t punch a customer.”  Yixing said back.  It was an instantaneous response, brought on by the many times Yixing had wanted to do just that, but it didn’t take even a second for Yixing to know it was the wrong thing to say.

“And if I were to kiss you, would that be what I was, a customer?”  Suho asked, thumb stilling once more as his hand squeezed a bit tighter around the side of Yixing’s face.

Yixing’s stomach dropped all on its own even as his brain considered saying ‘yes’.  It would be the easier, and safer, response.   It would let Yixing run away and hide behind the only wall he had left.

So, of course, Yixing could’t say it.  The disappointment he could see mounting in Suho’s eyes the longer it took him to respond, and his own rapidly beating heart, prevented that entirely.

“No.”  Yixing said, a knot of anticipation coiling in his stomach so tight that he thought he might be sick if Suho didn’t either let go of his cheek or lean in soon.

Of course, he did neither, keeping his hand on his Yixing's face as he asked another question, tone curious.  "What would I be then?” 

Yixing slowly shook his head against Suho’s palm.  He didn’t have an answer, not to that.  He didn’t even know Suho’s real name, so how could he possibly know what he was to Yixing?  All Yixing knew for certain was he wasn’t a customer.  No, he was far more than that.

“I’m not sure.”  Yixing admitted softly.

Suho sighed in response, a new wave of disappointment flashing in his eyes before he pulled back his hand as he stood up from the booth.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”  He said, starting to move towards the door.

“Wait!"  Yixing cried out suddenly, eyes trained on Suho's back as his heart raced and his stomach flopped.

Suho froze and then turned, staring back at Yixing over his shoulder, expression unreadable.

Yixing licked his lips nervously, somewhat surprised Suho had stopped, but he managed to recover quickly enough that Suho only had one eyebrow raised before his voice broke the silence of the room.  "Tomorrow.  Tomorrow, can I ask the questions?”

Suho studied Yixing for a couple seconds before turning to face him fully.  “I may not be able to answer them.”  He cautioned.

Yixing shrugged.  “Even then."  He responded, hoping that Suho would agree, because maybe, maybe if Yixing had even a few more answers, he could answer Suho's earlier question with a response Suho actually wanted to hear.

Suho studied Yixing for a couple seconds more before his expression hardened.  It wasn't... threatening, but it was definitely the face of someone who had bartered a negotiation before and didn't like to lose.  “If I let you, will you dance for me on Friday?”

Yixing considered his options briefly before nodding his head.  “Yes.”  Even if he was terrible at dancing on Friday, something told Yixing Suho would never dare laugh at him, not for that, and if in exchange Yixing got to learn at least a little of who Suho was, then Yixing hoped he could also start to figure out who he could be.

The second Yixing's response passed his lips the hardness dropped from Suho's face, replaced by a smile that was both pleased and encouraging.  “Then yes, tomorrow, you can ask me questions, and I’ll answer what I can.”

“Thank you.”  Yixing said, voice soft.

Suho smiled wider and turned back towards the door.

Yixing smiled as he watched him go, the regret that the gloss on his lips wasn't also on Suho's own quashed by the thought that Yixing might be able to leave it there tomorrow on the lips of someone that he actually knew.

 


	4. Thursday

Yixing spent the entire day planning.  What he should wear. What he should ask.  Even where he should sit.  Yixing thought out every detail, which was why, when Suho stepped into the room, Yixing was already there.

He had come in early to claim the bench and had settled against the curve of the half circle booth before letting his legs extend.  One had fallen off the bench after his mid-thigh, the curve too far in for his leg to remain on top of it, and Yixing let it hang there, lazily swinging it back and forth as Suho stared.

Yixing did his very best to keep a smirk off his face.  Clearly, his outfit planning for the evening, a real white button up and a pair of black boxer briefs accompanied by deceptively ‘natural’ makeup and lightly tousled bed hair, were exactly to Suho’s taste.

"Are you just going to stare?"  He asked after several seconds, and while he was able to keep the smirk off his face, he was unable to keep a teasing lilt from entering his voice.

Suho blinked, and then he let out a tiny awkward cough that was mixed with a laugh.  “So I'm up there?”  He asked, pointing at the table.

Yixing offered up a nonchalant shrug.  “It seems only fair.”  He answered.  

Suho blinked again, head inclining to the side in contemplation for long enough that Yixing started to wonder if he was pushing things too far.  “Or I can move.”  He said, starting to lean forward in his seat.

Suho’s hand jerked up to stop him.  “No… It’s fine, but I won’t be getting on a gracefully as you.”  He murmured, starting to make his way across the room.

Yixing laughed.  “If you knew how nervous I feel every time I jump up there, you wouldn’t call it graceful.”

Suho laughed as he turned and braced his hands against the table's edge, jumping up and sliding on butt first.  “Still looks better than this.”  He said with a small grunt as he continued to slide across the table until he was leaning against the pole, facing Yixing with a self-deprecating smile.

“Perhaps.”  Yixing said with a laugh, enjoying the reversal in positions.  Even though he was the one in far less, he wasn’t the one on display, and Suho seemed well aware of that, fidgeting for several more seconds after he first got settled.  

“Not used to the spotlight?”  Yixing asked, hoping to set him a bit more at ease.

Suho flinched, and then he let out a laugh as some of the tension in his shoulders subsided.  “Quite the opposite actually.”

“Then what’s up?”  Yixing asked, tilting his head to the side as he sat up in his seat, getting into a slightly less compromising position.

Suho’s lips pursed together as he hummed thoughtfully for a couple seconds before he answered.  “The person I am then isn’t the one I’m trying to be right now in front of you.  Believe it or not Lay, you aren’t the only one with masks.”  Suho finished with a wry smile as his eyes glided down Yixing’s form.  

“You dressed yourself today too.”  He murmured softly after a while, eyes returning to Yixing’s face, visibly more relaxed than before.

Yixing nodded.  "I did."  He confirmed.

"But... this isn't you."  Suho whispered, hand reaching out to gesticulate in Yixing's direction.

Yixing smiled as he shook his head.  "Nope, not really.  You have two guesses as to who it really is, and the second doesn't count."  He teased.

Suho laughed, completely relaxed as he smiled a bit wider.  "I only need one."

"So?"  Yixing asked, a gleam in his eye as he tilted his head to the side.

"Clearly," Suho said, hand gesturing towards Yixing's clothes once more, "this is me, or what you think is me."

Yixing bobbed his head in approval.  "Good job.  Now tell me.  Am I right?"

Suho's eyes narrowed for a couple seconds, his scrutiny intensifying.   Prepared, Yixing didn't flinch, and he wasn't surprised when Suho's eyes eventually stopped on his neck where Yixing had taken the time to draw a meticulously detailed hickey onto his skin.  

"Do you have a boyfriend?"  Suho asked, eyes still narrowed, tone a mixture of curiosity and simmering disdain.

Yixing shrugged his shoulders.  "Only if you want me to."  He responded.  

The decision to draw the hickey onto his neck had been a final, split decision that Yixing wasn't even really sure what he hoped to achieve by doing.

"I don’t."  Suho said, voice low and firm.

Yixing reached up and brushed off the mark with the inside of his shirt sleeve as Suho's eyes widened in surprise.  "Then no, I don't have one."  Yixing said as he lowered his hand down, holding himself back from adding that he might like to have one though.  He didn't need to be getting ahead of himself.  He still had a whole interview to conduct.

"Did you think I’d be more interested in you if you were taken?"  Suho asked, brow furrowed and voice soft, pulling Yixing away from his thoughts.

Yixing took a second to collect himself before he answered nonchalantly, still not quite certain what he was hoping to achieve.  "Some are."

"I’m not one of them."  Suho said back instantly.

Yixing smiled.  "So it would seem."  He agreed, leaving off that he thought that was a good thing while still fairly certain that it was heavily implied, that is, until Suho asked his next question.

"Are you?"  

"No."  Yixing responded quickly, surprised Suho even had to ask.

Suho laughed in response, amused by the shock clearly evident on Yixing's face.  "That’s a relief."  He said, laughter dying off into a small smile.

"I’m glad."  Yixing said back, a matching smile arising on his lips as he fought down a blush that was threatening to overtake his face, suddenly realizing exactly what he had hoped to achieve through his little art project.  

He had definitely hoped to learn if Suho was interested in dating him, and, given how their conversation had gone, Yixing was fairly certain he had an answer.  He just wasn't sure what to do with it quite yet.

The room fell into silence for a couple seconds, and Yixing wondered if Suho was realizing that Yixing had implied his interest as well.  At the very least, he also appeared to be in the midst of fighting back a flushing of his cheeks, and it was only after he seemed to have that completely under control that he spoke, tone venturing and hesitant.  “So... what other questions do you have for me?”

Yixing considered the expansive list he had in his head and opted for asking what he thought might be the most important one first.

“What kinds of questions can I ask?”

Suho briefly considered that before voicing his response.  “Any kind you want.  Just realize I may not be able to answer all of them.”  He cautioned.

“You don’t let me not answer.”  Yixing countered, voice not unforgiving, but still tinged with just enough annoyance that Suho would have to realize his rules weren’t exactly fair.

Suho’s shoulders heaved as he let out a heavy sigh.   “Some answers may not be only mine to give.”  He whispered, leaning forward slightly as his tone begged for understanding.

Yixing studied Suho’s face, struck by the sincerity in his eyes while turning over what his response meant for Yixing’s questions.  Finally, a realization struck him.  “So, the vaguer I am…”  He said, letting his voice trail off.

A relieved smile splayed across Suho’s face as he nodded encouragingly.  “The more answers I can give you.”

Yixing considered that briefly before quickly modifying his first question to be as vague as it could be.  “Is it legal?”  He asked, eyes sliding down Suho’s latest designer suit and tie.  This one was getting a bit more wrinkled than usual.  Apparently, sitting on tables was not for designer menswear.

Suho blinked, brow furrowing in confusion.  “Is what legal?”  He asked, clearly puzzled.

Yixing extended one of his hands out towards Suho’s clothes.  “Whatever it is you do to afford that.”  He clarified.

Suho blinked in surprise before he laughed while glancing down at his clothes, a reaction that was a bit unnerving since it very much implied that Suho didn’t even think about how much money was currently on his body.  "Oh yeah... yes.  I suppose it is.”  He said, looking back up at Yixing’s face.

“You suppose?”  Yixing asked, now feeling confused himself because typically, whether or not something was legal was fairly black and white, regardless of whether or not you agreed with the laws themselves.  

Suho laughed lightly.  “Just because something is legal doesn’t mean it’s always right.  I deal in words, images and occasionally, well-crafted lies, and while it’s all legal, that doesn't mean it's right, but I suppose you weren’t asking about my morality, were you?”  He asked, a wry smile on his face.

Yixing blinked, surprised by Suho’s expression.  It was oddly self-deprecating, and Yixing wanted to understand why, so he asked a question he hadn’t planned on.  “I wasn’t, but do you have them?”

“Morals?”  Suho asked with an incline of his head.

Yixing nodded.

Suho leaned back, expression contemplative before nodding his head.  “I do, but I’m still working to live by them a bit more closely.”

“And how’s that going for you?”  Yixing asked, not quite sure what to make of that response.

Suho sighed, eyes going away from Yixing’s face to focus on a spot beyond his shoulder, clearly lost in thought.  “It’s a process that is proving excruciatingly slow.”  He murmured, a noticeable hint of frustration slipping into his tone.

“Why?”  Yixing asked softly as he considered reaching out to try to soothe away Suho’s frustrations.  He decided against it, and was glad when Suho kept talking from a place that was clearly simply him, no masks to be found.  “Because sometimes the world changes more slowly than it should.”

“Better than it changing far too fast.”  Yixing responded, reflecting on the way his entire life was being upended in conversations that spanned a mere half-hour of his day.  It was definitely jarring, and Yixing wouldn’t have minded things going a bit more slowly, if just to give him some time to breathe, but nothing was slowing down, and Suho was already shaking his head in response to Yixing’s words.

“Not necessarily.”  He disagreed softly.

“How so?”  Yixing asked, curious to see how much more of this peek into Suho’s mind he would be granted.

“Sometimes, fast change is exactly what the world needs.  A spark, to get things moving in the right direction.”  Suho responded with a firm nod, voice and face becoming noticeably impassioned.

Yixing studied his expression for several seconds, surprised by Suho’s intensity before asking a question he was certain he already he knew the answer to.  “Do you intend to be a spark?”

Suho nodded once as he turned to set his eyes back on Yixing’s face.  “I’d like to be.”

Yixing shook his head slightly in disbelief.  “Really, who are you?”  He asked, perhaps now even more confused than he was before.

Suho shook his head.  “And that would be something I’d still rather not say.”

“I already knew that.”  Yixing responded instantly.

Suho nodded.  “I figured, but I am working to change that too.  Now, c’mon, surely you have more things you’d like to know, now that you have confirmed that I am not a drug lord.”  He said with a teasing smile.

Yixing laughed, hoping to keep the mood light.  “Didn't have you pinned for that.”  He said with a shake of his head,

“What then?”  Suho asked with a laugh of his own.

“Hmm… some type of con artist I suppose.”  Yixing answered after a couple seconds.  It was the only thing that really fit well with designer suits, impassioned speeches, and hardened negotiating skills.

Suho chuckled darkly.  “That's closer to the truth than you may think, but moving on, really, what else?”

Yixing considered that before opting for a more banal question.  “How old are you?”  It was something he’d like to know, if just for basic propriety.

Suho smiled.  “If I answer, will you?”

Yixing nodded his head.  He had figured this one would be a deal, and well, if he was going to get to know Suho’s age, he could reveal his too.  It was fair enough, and fit well within the game the two of them had been playing for days.

Suho smiled a bit wider as he shimmied down the pole he was leaned against, trying, Yixing assumed, to get a bit more comfortable.  “I’m 27.  Although, I’ve only got a week left to assert that claim.  You?”

“The same.  Although, I’ve got a few more months before that changes.”  Yixing answered, feeling somewhat relieved that they were actually close in age.  It made things a lot simpler, having no age gap to be sorted out.

Suho chuckled warmly.  “See, you're not that old.”  He said with a comforting smile.

Yixing shrugged.  “I’m old for here.”  He responded.

Suho shrugged back.  “Yeah, but not for me.”

Yixing decided it’d be in his best interest to not respond to that comment right then, opting to laugh instead.  “Funny how that works isn't it?  At one point, I thought 27 sounded ancient.”

Suho nodded in agreement.  “So did I.  Now though, I find myself slowly inching towards the thirty is the new twenty crowd.”  He said with a laugh.

“I know the feeling.”  Yixing laughed back.

“Believe me,” Suho said, eyes darting back to Yixing’s form as his laughter subsided, “You don’t have to worry about it.”

Yixing blushed and rather than attempting to argue, something he knew would get him nowhere fast, he dared to give a compliment back.  “Neither do you.”

Suho smiled at Yixing, not saying anything and the room fell silent again until Yixing picked his next question.  

“So,” he began, eyes once again gliding over the wrinkles in Suho’s suit pants as some of the fabric bunched around his thighs, which made them look particularly pleasant, “You are gay.”  He finished, eyes returning to Suho’s face.

“Very.  Yesterday didn’t make that obvious?”  Suho asked with an amused twinkle in his eyes.

Yixing shrugged.  “You could be bi.”  He said somewhat dismissively, not really believing it, but wanting it confirmed regardless.

Suho scoffed.

Yixing smiled.  “No inclination?”  He teased.

“Not even a glimmer.”  Suho confirmed with a laugh.

Yixing considered that response for a couple seconds before posing his next question.  “Does your family know?”

“Does yours?”  Suho countered back quickly.  It wasn’t an answer, and Yixing knew it, but he decided to respond anyways, hoping that maybe if he said it first, Suho might follow suit.

“Work in progress.”  He whispered, remembering his conversation with his mom over the phone last year.  There had been shocked gasps and tears, and ultimately, a promise that she still loved him anyway.  They still talked, but neither of them had told his father.  Yixing wasn’t sure when he would.  If he ever would.

Suho let out an understanding sigh.  “The same.”  He murmured.

“So some know?”  Yixing asked, a bit surprised.  

Given the status he was at this point fairly certain Suho’s family had to have, that was surprising.  If there was one place being gay was going to be hidden, it was there.  A few of those types filtered into the club now and then, wedding bands on their fingers gleaming, and Yixing hated them, mainly for the lies they chose to live.

Even if Yixing wasn’t standing on a street corner shouting out his sexuality to the world, he didn’t lie about it.  He didn’t walk around married to a girl while shagging guys on the side and pretending everything was normal.  Even Lay was closer to who Yixing was than that.

Still Suho was nodding in confirmation.  “Some know.”  He said softly.

“But others don’t.”  Yixing filled in.

Suho nodded.

“And the reason for that?”  Yixing asked, curious to see if there was an answer to that question Suho would be willing to give.  There was, and it wasn’t exactly an answer Yixing wanted to hear.

“The more people that know a secret, the less of a secret it becomes.”  Suho whispered quietly.

“So it is a secret then.”  Yixing responded, trying not to sound upset.  He had already anticipated that answer.  It wasn’t surprising.  He just didn’t like knowing that should he consider pursuing this, he’d be climbing back into a closet to hide out once more.

Suho sighed as he gave a nod.  “For now.”  He said, tone almost wistful

“For now?”  Yixing asked, confused by Suho’s hopeful tone.

Suho nodded again.  “The world changes.”  He murmured.

“Slowly?”  Yixing asked, thinking he was catching on, but not quite sure.

“Very slowly.”  Suho confirmed.

“And you'd like it change faster,” Yixing continued, gaining confidence as a couple of things Suho had said began to fall into place in his mind.

Suho nodded once more.  “Yes, because if it changes faster, then I can finally just be me.  No more pretenses.  No more masks.  Just me.”

Yixing imagined that briefly, dropping every barrier he had and living with his heart on his sleeve.  It made him tremble slightly.  “You're braver than I am.”  He said, voice barely above a whisper.

“Am I?”  Suho asked curiously.

“Yeah, I think so.”  Yixing said back, recalling Suho’s earlier words about wanting to make the world change.  It took a very brave person to want to do that, and if Yixing was understanding how Suho might like to see the world change correctly, well, in Yixing’s opinion, that took an even braver person.  That took someone willing to put themselves on display for the entire world to see.

Suho was quiet for a while before he shook his head.  "A truly brave person is one who can get up here."  He mumbled softly, looking around himself.  "How can you guys do this?"

Yixing laughed lightly, remembering how afraid he had been the first few nights.  Perhaps overcoming that did take bravery, but it was of a different breed and besides, in comparison to what Suho was describing...  "It's not that hard... do you want to learn?"  He asked, eyes flicking over Suho's limbs.  He looked plenty fit enough to handle a little dancing, but Suho laughed bitterly in response to Yixing's words.  

"I'm a terrible dancer."

Yixing blinked and then he pushed himself up from the bench. "C'mon.  No one’s a terrible dancer if they try."

Suho scoffed as Yixing climbed up onto the table behind him.  "Clearly, you haven't seen me dance yet."

"I'll still be saying that once were through."  Yixing responded, hands going down to help Suho stand up from behind.

"Only if you're blind."  Suho said through a shiver as Yixing pulled him back against his chest, hands wrapping around Suho's waist to pop the buttons on his suit jacket.

"I assure you," Yixing murmured, head dropping down to Suho's ear, "I'm far from blind." A small gasp passed Suho's lips as Yixing popped the last button on Suho's jacket, hands pressing against his stomach for a moment before he pulled them up towards Suho's lapels.  "Now let's get this off."  Yixing said, fingers clenching around the fabric as he took a small step back.

Suho covered up another shudder with a laugh as he shimmied his arms out of his jacket with Yixing's help, at which point Yixing dropped it rather unceremoniously onto the floor.  "And why are we taking off my clothes?"  Suho asked, as Yixing moved back forwards, arms wrapping around Suho’s waist once more.  

"Because, to dance, you have to be able to move."  Yixing responded as his hands worked at the belt on Suho’s pants, snapping it open and then sliding it off in one long pull before he dropped it to the floor as well.

"Is that the only reason?"  Suho asked with a shudder as Yixing’s hands strayed back to his waist, settling against his hips while Yixing pulled him back more firmly against himself, body molding around Suho’s own.  It was a lot of contact, a lot of contact, and Yixing relished it for a couple seconds before he let out a breathy laugh and responded to Suho’s question.

"There are added benefits.  Now put your hand here," he murmured, moving a hand to Suho’s own and wrapping it firmly around the center pole, “and lean back."  He ordered softly, taking a step away from Suho’s body.  

Yixing’s own body instantly mourned the loss of heat, but Yixing ignored it, focusing on getting Suho to at least try what he was proposing.  He didn’t seem to want to.

"I'll fall."  Suho cautioned, glancing back behind himself at the gap Yixing had created.

Yixing shook his head.  "No you won’t, I'll catch you."  He promised simply.

"How are you intending to catch me from way back there?"  Suho responded critically.

"I’m not that far away."  Yixing said with a laugh, “Now c’mon,” he continued, raising a guiding hand to the small of Suho’s back, “Just start to lean.  It’s a back bend, plain and simple.”

“You act like I do this all the time.”  Suho responded with a small grunt as he began to bend backwards, eyes going up to Yixing’s face once his body was arched.

“Don’t you?  You’ve gone pretty far.”  Yixing commented with a laugh, studying just how far back Suho had gone.  Honestly, Yixing suspected that he could have gone all the way over and planted his hands on the floor above his head, but Suho’s laughter kept him from seeing if that theory was correct.

“I’ve always been rather flexible.  More importantly, how am I supposed to get up?”  He asked, body starting to strain against the position he had placed it in, sounding slightly out of breath as his face turned red from being upside down.

Yixing laughed at his confusion as his hand pressed gently against Suho’s back.   "Use your grip on the pole and your abs and don't worry about stopping your momentum.  Let it propel you around the table instead.  Just don't let go."  He cautioned.

Suho laughed even as his brow began to furrow in concentration as he prepared himself for the maneuver.  "Because then I'd fall."

Yixing shook his head with a small laugh of his own.  "No, not fall.  Face plant.  Rather epically I might add."  He said, remembering one of the times his grip had slipped and he taken a tumble so bad his ankle had been swollen for a week.

"You said you would catch me."  Suho said back as he swung his body upright, spinning around the pole as he went.

"If you fell."  Yixing responded as Suho’s arms snaked around his waist, ensnaring him in his grasp.

"Semantics."  Suho murmured softly in Yixing’s ear.  

"Are very important aren't they?"  Yixing teased back, struggling to keep his voice steady.  He could feel his heart pounding in his chest right along with Suho’s own.  It was far too fast considering he was not doing anything, but if Suho realized that, he didn’t comment on it.  He just let his hands slip under Yixing’s shirt to press against the bare skin of his abdomen.

"Yes, they are."  Suho agreed as his breath tickled the back of Yixing’s neck, making his hair stand on end, and even though he tried to brace himself for it, Yixing still jumped as Suho’s lips moved to connect with the side of his neck.  

"What?"  Suho asked, pulling back a ways to talk into Yixing’s ear, sounding startled and a touch concerned.

Yixing shook his head minutely as he struggled to reign himself in.  His neck had always been sensitive, but he could get past it, with time.  "It's nothing.  You're fine."  He said, hand clenching into a fist as he took a steadying breath.

Suho let out a contemplative hum before he leaned forward to blow softly against Yixing’s neck.

Yixing's knees buckled slightly as he let out a tiny gasp.

"Whoa.  Should I stop?"  Suho asked, hands clenching around Yixing’s stomach to make sure he stayed upright.

"If you're going to just keep doing that, yes.”  Yixing ground out as he focused on restoring strength to his legs, cursing his stupid neck and his stupid knees.

Suho hummed again before he leaned down, breath dancing against the side of Yixing’s neck again.  "And if I was going to do something else?"  He asked, lips almost brushing against Yixing’s skin, but not.

Yixing still shuddered deeply, and his whole body trembled, causing a weird vibrato to mar his response.  "It passes, eventually."

Yixing felt Suho smile against his skin as he closed the immeasurable gap that had remained between his lips and Yixing’s neck.  "Well then,” he whispered directly against Yixing’s flesh, “I guess I'm going to have to figure out when eventually is, but first," Suho pulled on Yixing’s arm, guiding him down onto the table with his hands as he temporarily pulled away from Yixing’s neck, "I don't have as much confidence in my ability to catch you."  He murmured as his lips reconnected with the Yixing’s skin once he was firmly settled between Suho’s legs on the table.

"I'm sure you could manage it."  Yixing said with a groan as Suho licked against his skin before sucking against it gently.

"At other times perhaps,” Suho conceded as he pulled back momentarily before heading back down again, nipping lightly at Yixing’s skin, “but right now..."

"Right now?"  Yixing asked with a gasp as Suho’s lips clamped down, sucking a bit harder than before, simultaneously soothing away the pinch of his bite while causing a new, more intense sensation to join the fray.

"I'm a little distracted."  Suho said with a dark chuckle as he blew against Yixing’s skin again.  The air was chilly against Yixing’s moistened skin, and he let out a tiny groan as his body shook, a small wave of sensation rippling through his form.

"A little?"  He asked as Suho stopped, his hands, which were back around Yixing’s waist, squeezing gently to quell Yixing’s shaking.

"A lot."  Suho conceded with another dark laugh, hands moving from where they had clenched around Yixing to trail down his arms instead, which was about when Yixing became aware of the hardness pressing against his spine.

Yixing took a moment to feel a bit proud of himself for creating that, and to enjoy the promising feel of its size, before shimmying back slightly, rubbing himself against Suho’s own turgid flesh.  "Should I help?"  He asked as Suho groaned, fingers on his arms stalling in their movements to squeeze into Yixing’s biceps instead.

"How far can you help?"  He ground out as Yixing stopped his movements, granting Suho a second in which to respond before he pressed back again.

"How much time do we have left?"  Yixing asked as Suho gasped, trying to stay focused on him, and not on the burgeoning hardness in his own briefs, or how much he’d like Suho to touch him back.

One of Suho’s hands moved from Yixing’s arm to hold his watch up in front of both their faces, chin hooking around Yixing’s shoulder to bring them closer together as Yixing kept sliding himself back and forth across Suho’s cock while Suho’s hips moved in tiny, smooth rolls.  Impressively, despite the sound of his labored breathing in Yixing’s ear, he managed to make sense of the timepiece first.   "Five minutes."  He managed before his body rolled against Yixing’s hard as he let out a moan several octaves deeper than his usual voice.

Yixing smiled as he moved his hands to tap against Suho’s arms as best he could, trying to get him to release his grip.  “Then let me turn around and tell Luhan you only owe him for 25.  This is free."

Suho moaned again as he released his grip, allowing Yixing to turn around before pulling him onto his lap.  "Is five minutes enough?"  He murmured, looking up at Yixing with lust filled eyes as his body trembled.

Yixing smiled at him as he let his hips roll forward, bringing both of their cocks together for a second as they groaned in unison.  "You'll be screaming my name in three."  Yixing promised as he stilled for a second, trying to assess if what he’d just done, and what he was proposing, were really okay.

Suho’s eyes darkened as a hint of mirth played across his face.  “Should I feel insulted or are you just that good?”  He asked.

Yixing’s hips rolled forward again as Suho’s rose to meet him.  “I don’t know.  You’ll have to tell me.”  Yixing said with a dark laugh of his own, picking up the pace.  Five minutes really wasn’t a lot of time, but it was long enough.  They’d already had an effective 25 minutes of foreplay.

Suho groaned in response and let his head fall forward against Yixing’s neck, lips reconnecting with his skin, causing Yixing to gasp and momentarily lose his rhythm.  Suho laughed against him before continuing his kiss, hips rolling up to coax Yixing back into a grueling pace.

There was too much fabric and too little restraint, and Yixing moaned, wanton and loud, as Suho bit down against his skin, pressing into Suho hard as he felt himself bulge, stomach clenching.  He was close, so close, and he gasped, hands that had been against Suho’s back starting to scratch against the fabric of his shirt.  “Where?”  he gasped out, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do, where he was supposed to touch, to get Suho thoroughly caught up to him.  

Suho groaned as he pulled his lips away from Yixing’s neck, forehead moving to connect with Yixing’s own as his eyes asked a question instead of his lips.  Yixing nodded, and Suho adjusted, slotting their mouths together as he thrust himself against Yixing’s cock again.  They both groaned into the kiss, and Yixing took the opportunity to slip past Suho’s defenses, licking into his mouth and dragging his tongue across the roof of it, enjoying Suho’s taste.  

Suho groaned again in response, and Yixing smiled into their kiss before their tongues collided in a messy and twisted fray that escalated with the pace of their ruts against one another.  

It was sloppy.  It was messy.  It was, honestly, a bit juvenile and unrefined, but Yixing still reveled in it, enjoying bringing him and Suho down to the same lowly playing field where they were both chasing after exactly the same thing.  

Finally, their kiss was broken off as both of their bodies jerked sporadically together.  Yixing gasped.  Suho groaned, and then, it was done.  

Yixing bent forward, resting his head against Suho’s shoulder as Suho did the same on the opposite side, their elevated breathing almost perfectly in sync as they came back down.  At some point, Yixing’s fingers started playing with the hair at the base of Suho’s neck, but he wasn’t even really aware of that until Suho pulled back, and Yixing’s hand was there as Suho stared directly at him with eyes that were both sated and yet dissatisfied.

“What?”  Yixing asked.

“Your name.”  Suho whispered softly.  “I still don’t know your name.”  He explained, and he looked so upset about that fact that Yixing almost said it back, but he stopped himself short, literally almost biting his tongue, as he swiftly changed his mind.

“Will you tell me yours?”

Suho sighed heavily, and it was all the response Yixing needed to know to sigh back.

“Just stick with Lay,” he whispered softly.  “It’s close enough.”

Close enough that this was still going to hurt when it ended, and now, Yixing knew that there was no way out of it.  He’d gone a bridge way too far for that.

“Sorry,” Suho breathed out, sounding genuinely apologetic.

Yixing shook his head as he began to extract himself from Suho’s arms.  “It’s fine,” He murmured softly, even though they both knew it really wasn’t, eyes flitting down Suho’s now completely messed up hair and wrinkled clothes.

“You need something to wear.”  Yixing mused aloud, eyes settling on Suho’s own after first getting stuck at his slightly swollen lips.

“I’ll manage.  It’s not that bad.”  Suho said, glancing down at his clothes.

Yixing snorted, thinking about how wonderfully pleasant his briefs currently felt.  “Yeah right.  Don’t try to tell me you want to go home looking like that.  Just give me a sec.  I can grab you something from the back.”  He said, starting to move towards the door.

“Like fishnets and harem pants?”  Suho teased glancing over his shoulder as Yixing reached out for the handle.  

Yixing laughed as he glanced back at Suho.  “Is that what you’d prefer?”

“Please no.”  Suho said with a laugh.

Yixing smiled.  “Thought not.  Don’t worry.  We’ve got lots of things a bit more normal than that.”  He said before disappearing through the door.

\---

He had said they had lots of alternatives, but in the end, the clothes Yixing returned with were his own.  Most of the things in the back room just really weren’t the types of things Yixing could envision Suho ever wanting to actually walk anywhere in.  

As he handed over the rather non-descript pair of grey sweats, a white t-shirt and plain boxers, he didn’t reveal that though.  All he said was that they were clean.  (Which they were.  Yixing liked to leave in fresh clothes.  That way, when he got home, he could pass out immediately and not have to change again.  Tonight though, he’d have to modify his routine.)

Suho took the stack of clothing from Yixing’s hands with a grateful smile.  “Thank you.”  He said.

Yixing shook his head.  “Don’t mention it.”  He murmured, turning around as Suho did the same.

Suho laughed lightly as Yixing heard him begin to unzip his pants.  “I won’t.  I think I’ve already done enough for this to qualify as one of the most embarrassing things I’ve done since high school, and at least then I had age as an excuse for poor self-control.”

Yixing laughed back.  “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t really looking for self-control, and it’s not like I performed too well either.”

Suho laughed again, clearly amused.  “Believe me, you performed just fine.  I’m done.” He added, and Yixing jumped as he felt a hand land upon his shoulder, spinning him back around.

Yixing’s eyes stayed wide as Suho smiled at him softly while he took a second to appreciate how good Suho looked in his clothes.  Yixing really liked the sight.  Perhaps he should bring an extra set for tomorrow, just in case.  

Suho’s hand moved from Yixing’s shoulder to his face, cupping his cheek.  “Whose are these?”  He whispered quietly.

“Mine,” Yixing whispered back, not even bothering to try to lie.  If Suho was asking, he had to already have some inkling as to the answer.

He did, nodding slightly with a laugh.  “Thought so.  I’ll make sure to pay you back.”

Yixing blinked, then shook his head.  “That’s not-”

Suho cut him off, his other hand wrapping around Yixing’s waist so he could pull him forward and lay a peck upon his lips.  The action left Yixing momentarily stunned as Suho pulled back with a flirtatious smile.

“I know it’s not necessary, but neither was you offering them to me in the first place.”  He murmured.

“It was.”  Yixing said back with a nod into Suho’s palm.

“It wasn’t,” Suho insisted with a light squeeze of Yixing’s cheek before withdrawing his hand.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.  I’m looking forward to watching you dance.”

Yixing swallowed nervously as he bobbed his head.  “I’ll do my best.”

Suho smiled encouragingly, hand still around Yixing’s waist squeezing around him.  “Of that, I have no doubt.  Goodnight.”  He whispered, withdrawing his hand in a slow drag that burned Yixing’s skin as he stepped towards the door.

He disappeared behind it before Yixing managed to even move a hand to wave in his direction.

The thought of tomorrow had him frozen in place, making him feel simultaneously nervous and excited.

For the first time that week, Yixing felt like he actually knew what he wanted.

Maybe.


	5. Friday

Yixing spent the whole day dancing, in his head that his.  He popped in his earbuds at work and let his mind run through movements as he checked spreadsheets.  

During lunch, as he waited in line for his food, his hands moved in tiny motions, ghosting through moves.

Even during meetings, his feet were tapping and sliding across the floor, and finally, by the time Yixing was spiking back his hair that evening, he felt like he actually knew what he was going to do, which was when Baekhyun appeared, eyes flicking quickly over Yixing's clothes.

"What are you wearing?"  He asked as he sat down beside Yixing and grabbed the gloss he had just set down.  

"Um... Clothes."  Yixing said as he looked down at himself.  

He was in a pair of grey Nike sweats, a black tank top, and a purple zip up hoodie.  Sure, it was nothing elaborate, but he needed to be able to move, and besides, he had no doubt Suho would appreciate finally seeing him, or well, most of him.  He still had make-up on his face.  He had work to do later and changing clothes didn't take long, but a full face of make-up would take more time than Yixing had the luxury to possess.

Baekhyun let out a huff as his eyes scanned down Yixing's form. "You know that's not what I meant."  He said as he set Yixing's lip gloss back down.

Yixing shrugged as he leaned forward to get a better look at his neck in the mirror.  Suho's bit of work from the previous evening was clearly visible.  "He asked me to dance, normally."  Yixing murmured as he considered covering the mark.  

He decided against it.  Suho might feel the need to make another if he thought the first one was already gone.

"And you're going to do it?"  Baekhyun asked, tone disbelieving as Yixing pulled away from the mirror.

He nodded his head as he looked himself over one final time, making sure everything was in place.

"You barely even dance for me."  Baekhyun whined, leaning over to bump his shoulder into Yixing's own.

"You're embarrassing," Yixing said with a small blush, bumping Baekhyun back.

Baekhyun had a tendency to cheer, loudly, when Yixing so much as moved.  The one time Yixing had actually danced a whole routine in front of him, he'd turned a bit purple and then wouldn't shut up about it for a week.

"I merely voice my approval."  Baekhyun said back with a huff.

"Go approve of Chanyeol then."  Yixing replied with a hint of annoyance dripping into his tone. He knew he was doing something he wouldn't normally do.  He didn't need Baekhyun to remind him of that.

Baekhyun stared at him for a couple seconds in surprise before he laughed and shook his head, breaking the sudden, unexpected tension as he spoke, tone affectionate and amused.  "He can't dance for shit."  

"And you're still with him?"  Yixing asked, a bit surprised.  Baekhyun liked dancing, and dancers, so much he had a hard time envisioning him with someone who couldn't dance at all.

"We're working on it," Baekhyun said with a laugh, "and besides, he can make me voice my approval in other ways."  He added suggestively, eyebrows waggling.

Yixing laughed as he shook his head.  Of course.  

He turned back to the mirror, fingers raising to graze across the skin of his neck.  "So can he."  He murmured softly, remembering the night before.  

Yixing had lost any semblance of self-control, and the only thing that helped temper how embarrassing that was, was knowing Suho had lost it right along with him.

Baekhyun sighed as he reached up to brush Yixing's hand off his neck and stare at the mark beneath his hand.  "Do you even know his name yet?" He whispered, hand hovering over the spot but not touching it, knowing how sensitive Yixing was.

Yixing sighed and shook his head.  "No."  He whispered.

"You need to figure that out."  Baekhyun said, tone insistent as he moved his hand to Yixing's shoulder, shaking him gently.

"I know."  Yixing said, looking up at Baekhyun’s eyes.  "I know."   He repeated.

Baekhyun sighed.  "I know you know.  It's just...if he won't tell you Xing, you need to-"

"I know."  Yixing said for a third time, cutting Baekhyun off as he reached up to wrap his fingers around Baekhyun’s wrist.  "But honestly Baek, at this point... I'm just going to let this go until it ends and even if that is tomorrow... that's okay."  Because Suho was too wealthy, and too good, and so in the end, Yixing knew this could go nowhere, but for a while he could pretend that it could.

"You sure about that?"  Baekhyun asked, fingers squeezing into Yixing's shoulder.  

Yixing nodded firmly as his fingers squeezed around Baekhyun’s wrist.  "Yes.  It's all a fantasy.  Just let me live it for a little while longer."  

Baekhyun released Yixing's shoulder with a sigh.  "Okay."  He whispered.  

Yixing wished he had something else that he could say to make Baekhyun smile again, but he had nothing left to give, not right then.

\---

“You're still wearing your face.”  Suho said the second Yixing walked through the door.

Yixing would have laughed in response, if just because he had predicted that was what Suho might comment on first, but he found himself distracted instead by the fact that while Yixing was still wearing his face, Suho wasn’t wearing his.

His designer suit had been traded out for a pair of black skinny jeans and a t-shirt which Yixing was sure probably cost more than his entire outfit combined.  It had a random geometric pattern on its front, but Yixing didn't really care much about that.  Rather, he cared about the fact that the shirt hugged all the right spots on Suho's chest, letting him know it was every bit as toned as it had felt yesterday pressed up against his back.

A black and grey jacket, laid across the bench, and some trainers finished off the look, and while Yixing had the distinct impression that something was probably wrong with his head because casual clothes really shouldn’t look this good, a small smirk arose on Suho's face.  “I get off earlier on Fridays," He explained simply. 

“I can see that.”  Yixing said back, recovering enough to step into the room and move towards the radio to start hooking up his iPhone to the equipment as opposed to letting the machine continue to shuffle its random set of discs.

“Do you approve?”  Suho asked with a laugh after a couple of seconds as Yixing began running through his playlist one last time.

Yixing glanced up from his phone to let his eyes slide appreciatively over Suho’s form.  “I’m not complaining.”  He murmured softly.  

Suho dressed down was just as attractive as Suho cleaned up.  In fact, he was perhaps even more so since Suho seemed more at ease and definitely more approachable than when he was sitting there in clothes that were so pristine Yixing wondered how he had, had the nerve to just drop them on the floor yesterday.

“Well, I am.”  Suho said with a laugh, presumably to cover up the small flush Yixing could see on his cheeks.

“About what?”  Yixing asked curiously.

“Why are you still wearing that much make-up? Surely you don’t wear that normally.”  Suho said, tone teasing as opposed to critical.

Yixing laughed as he thought about showing up to work decked out in eyeliner, gloss and glitter.  It'd be an interesting day at the office, that was for sure.  “Definitely not, but I still have work to do after this, remember?”

Suho’s brow furrowed slightly in response.  “This isn't work?”  He asked, tone somewhere between uncertain and hopeful.

Yixing shook his head in response as he finished cueing up his playlist.  “Nope, this is completely free.”

“Are you authorized to do that?”  Suho asked with a disbelieving laugh  

Yixing shrugged as he looked over in Suho’s direction.  “I’m a temp and today is my last day.  What’s he going to do, fire me?”

Suho laughed again, and this time, while it sounded happy, his voice had a hint of sadness to it as he spoke.  “True.  So, what do you have planned for me?”  He asked, nodding his head towards the radio as Yixing stepped away from it.  

The first track had a built in delay so Yixing had time to continue their conversation as he stepped towards the clearest area of the small room.  He’d definitely be dancing in cramped quarters, but it wasn’t like that was anything new.  Yixing had danced in his bedroom when he’d been back at home, and it was about the same size.

“Whatever comes to mind,” he said, stepping into place, not feeling like revealing he’d spent the entire day planning out his routine.

“So you haven't been planning it out all day?” Suho teased, a knowing look on his face.

Yixing wrinkled his nose, annoyed, and settled on a response.  “Have you been thinking about it all day?”  He asked.  

Suho nodded back at him with a smile.  “At least that long.”  He confirmed.

Yixing sighed.  Great, now he had to answer.  “Well then, yes, I’ve been dancing randomly and getting weird looks everywhere I go, which means it is entirely your fault that half the world thinks I'm insane.”

Suho laughed in response.  “I apologize.  Is there any way I can make it up to you?”  He asked, clearly amused by Yixing’s predicament.

Yixing considered that, and then he heard the first beat of the track in his playlist pulse through the speakers and he nodded as his body snapped into position.  “Watch.”  He commanded.

Suho nodded in response, and finally, Yixing began to dance.

Yixing still danced sometimes, alone.  He’d turn on his music and clear a space wide enough in his small apartment to run through moves and entertain himself.  Occasionally, he’d even slip into the studio down the street and borrow one of their rooms, just for old times’ sake.  There was something nostalgic about watching himself dance surrounded by mirrors and the pulse of treble and base, but it ended there.

Yixing hadn’t danced any form of hip-hop for another person since… Baekhyun actually, and even that was quite some time ago, but now, Yixing was dancing for another person again, and unsurprisingly, the wave of emotions that brought forth was far from small.  

Yixing liked dancing.  He always had, and dancing just for himself was fun, but dancing for himself and someone else was different, and in this instance, better.

It was better because it meant that Yixing got to be entertained by Suho’s small gasps as his body rolled in time to the beat.

It was better because it meant that Yixing got to be amused by the confusion in Suho’s eyes as his arms popped and locked in rapidly changing patterns.

It was better because it meant that at the end, when Yixing was done, and his lungs were heaving from exertion, and his chest was so tight it felt like it might explode, he got a hug.  A really big hug, and maybe some applause before that too, but Yixing forgot all about that the second Suho’s arms wrapped around him, slipping inside his partially unzipped hoodie to pull him tight against his chest.

"That was my favorite dance yet."  Suho whispered somewhere around the vicinity of Yixing’s collarbones.

Yixing laughed and let his trembling arms swing up to wrap around Suho’s back.  "I messed up at least twice."  He murmured, nosing into the side of Suho’s head in an attempt to get him to look up so they’d be face to face.

"It was perfect."  Suho said firmly as he shook his head against Yixing’s shoulder, refusing to move right away.

Yixing sighed.  "If you say so."  He said with a shrug.

"I do.”  Suho insisted, finally moving to look directly at Yixing’s face.  “Flaws make things beautiful.  They make them real."  He continued, eyes locking onto Yixing’s own.

"And is this real?"  Yixing whispered back, trapped by Suho’s gaze and terrified of his response because Yixing was all but convinced this wasn’t real, and if Suho said it was, Yixing wasn’t sure how he was going to handle that.  He wasn’t sure if he was brave enough to handle that.

"Do you want it to be?"  Suho whispered back, voice even softer than Yixing’s own.

"I don't know,” Yixing admitted, not trying to mask the confusion and hesitation in his voice.

"Why not?"  Suho asked, tilting his head to the side as he took a step back, pulling Yixing with him towards the booth.

"Because I have done this before, and it never ends well."  Yixing responded honestly as he let himself be pulled down onto Suho’s lap where he sat on the bench.  They didn’t stay that way for long.

Suho proceeded to lay them down on their sides, facing each other with the narrowest of gaps between them before he asked his next question, one of his hands leaving Yixing’s back to trail down his face.  "Why?"  He whispered softly.

"Because,” Yixing said with a tiny shudder as Suho’s fingers continued on from his face to his neck, stroking up and down it slowly in a way that made his skin tingle.  “What happens in here is a fantasy and when it ends... things get complicated.”

“Why?  Do you turn in to a pumpkin or something?”  Suho asked with a small, reassuring laugh as his fingers kept dancing across Yixing’s skin.

Yixing shimmied slightly and moved one of his hands up to grab Suho’s own.  It was too hard to think when he was doing that.  He linked their fingers together and gave Suho’s hand a firm squeeze as he tried to explain as best he could.

“No, but I may as well.  All this...it’s an illusion, and when reality comes knocking… well, reality is far less appealing.”

“I’d beg to disagree.”  Suho responded, squeezing Yixing’s hand back as he smiled at him softly.

Yixing studied Suho’s face.  It was nothing if not sincere, and yet, Yixing wasn’t completely inclined to trust in his words.  Suho was kind enough that he probably believed that about every dancer he had met.  “Did you tell Kai that too?”  He asked softly.

Much to Yixing’s surprise, Suho shook his head.  “No.”  He whispered.

Yixing’s brow furrowed.  “Why not?”  He asked, surprised to find himself actually a bit upset Suho hadn’t.  If what he was saying was true for Yixing, it most definitely was true for Jongin too.

Suho laughed lightly and lifted their conjoined hands to smooth away the lines on Yixing’s face.  “Because my talks with Kai have been about many things, but never about this.”

“Why not?”  Yixing repeated.

Suho smiled as he lowered their hands down from Yixing’s face, meeting his eyes again.  “Because Kai’s taken, and so, we have talked about what that means to him instead, and besides, even if he wasn’t dating someone…”  Suho sighed as he let his voice trail off

“Even if he wasn’t?”  Yixing prompted, squeezing Suho’s hand.

Suho took a breath and nodded to himself before trying again.  “Even if he wasn’t already dating someone else, I would never ask Kai the question I’m about to ask you."  He whispered.

“Why not?”  Yixing asked.  It was the third time the question had passed his lips in the span of a minute.  If Suho noticed, he didn’t comment on it, but Yixing would have been surprised to learn that he had.  He seemed far more preoccupied fighting back a blush as he gathered himself again.

“Because,” Suho explained on a shaky breath, “Kai is cute, but he’s not my type.”

Yixing blinked.  Suho kept talking.

“So, what do you say tonight, we find out if you really turn into a pumpkin or not?”

Yixing blinked again.  “You may prefer the pumpkin.”  He whispered, suddenly very afraid of where this may lead.  He’d thought he was ready to play out this fantasy to the end.  The problem was, Suho kept mixing things together, and Yixing was having a harder and harder time telling where fantasy ended and reality began.

“Let me be the judge of that.” Suho murmured, sliding a bit closer towards Yixing’s face

Yixing almost tried to back away, but he realized there was really nowhere for him to go but the floor.  Therefore, he fought back the increase in his heartrate and asked the one question he had to have an answer to if he was going to do this, even if having an answer would most likely destroy any of the barriers between fantasy and reality Yixing had left.  "Will you tell me your name?"  

Suho blinked, and then, to Yixing’s surprise, he nodded.  "Joonmyeon."  He whispered, and Yixing just stared.

"What?"

"My name is Kim Joonmyeon."  Suho repeated, and it was all Yixing could do to not let out a startled gasp.  As it was, he just stared for a couple more seconds with his mouth slightly open before he spoke, tone rife with disbelief.

"Just like that?"

Suho shrugged his shoulders, clearly trying to downplay the seriousness of his sudden revelation.  "If I'm going to try to take you home, I owe you at least that much, so?"

Yixing blinked a couple more times as he shook his head.  He really hadn’t expected Suho-Joonmyeon-to answer.  Now that he had… Yixing really had only one option left.  "Okay."  He whispered with a nod of his head.

"Okay?"  Joonmyeon asked, confused.

“Okay, I get off at two.”  Yixing clarified, voice dropping down in volume as a blush tinged his cheeks.

Joonmyeon's lips pulled up into a smile that was genuine, wide, and if Yixing allowed himself to believe it, excited, which was silly because Yixing wasn’t that exciting of a person, but it was nice to think Joonmyeon might think he was anyways.  

"And who will I be waiting for?"  Joonmyeon asked, face sliding even closer to Yixing’s own.  Their lips were now so close that when Yixing spoke back, they brushed together.

"Yixing.  Zhang Yixing."  He whispered, and with that, fantasy and reality collided, and Yixing held his breath, wondering what would happen next.

Yixing could feel Joonmyeon smile against his lips.  "Yixing.  I'm going to have to work on that."  He mumbled, tongue not quite wrapping itself around the pronunciation of the syllables.

"You're already doing very well."  Yixing comforted, breathing out his response into Joonmyeon’s mouth as they began to kiss, the movements feather light and slow.

"Liar."  Joonmyeon mumbled out somewhere in between one press and the next.  

Yixing just smiled and pressed back in.

\---

Several hours later, Yixing stepped out of Luhan’s club in clothes that were not his own, or well, they hadn’t been his own until a few hours ago, when Joonmyeon had pressed them into Yixing’s chest before he departed the room.

“For yesterday.”  He said as he held the pile against Yixing's chest until he reached up to take it from his grasp.

“This isn’t what I gave you.”  He whispered back, looking down at the stack.  Sure it was athletic pants and a t-shirt and boxers, but they definitely weren’t his.  They were better brands, for one.

Joonmyeon shrugged.  “I was always taught to leave things better than how I found them.”

“This isn’t better.  It’s replaced.”  Yixing murmured, glancing down at the pile of clothes in his arms again.

“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t buy them, but they are clean.”  Joonmyeon said softly.

Yixing blinked in surprise.  “Wait.  So these are…”

Yixing let his voice trail off as Joonmyeon gave a noncommittal shrug.  “Apparently our sizes are pretty similar so…” Joonmyeon leaned forward to whisper in Yixing’s ear.  “I want to see what you look like in them.”

Yixing held back a shudder as Joonmyeon pulled back, a self-satisfied smirk on his face that was almost strong enough to mask the slight tinging of his cheeks.  He had mumbled out a goodbye and disappeared quickly after that, leaving Yixing alone to ponder the quandary of whether or not he’d wear Joonmyeon’s gift.

In the end, he did, and when Joonmyeon stepped forward, holding out his hand towards Yixing’s own, his eyes gleamed with a hint of approval before they settled upon Yixing’s face.

“You’re still wearing your face.”  He accused.

“So you really want me to take it all off.”  Yixing whispered softly.  

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon confirmed simply.

Yixing sighed, wondering if Joonmyeon would still feel that way when his face wasn’t perfectly smooth and balanced.  “You can take it off later.  Where are we headed?”   He asked, glancing around in search of a car.  To his surprise, Joonmyeon hailed a cab instead.

“My apartment.”  He said, as they climbed into the backseat of the vehicle.  Yixing stiffened in surprise as Joonmyeon quickly rattled off an address to the driver before redirecting his attention to him.

“What?”  He asked, thumb starting to rub in soothing circles against Yixing’s hand.

Yixing swallowed nervously.  “Are you sure that’s wise?”  He asked.  He may have learned Joonmyeon’s name, but there was still a whole lot he didn’t know.  Telling Yixing where he lived.  Taking him there.  Those were big messages.  Yixing wondered if Joonmyeon realized that.

Joonmyeon studied Yixing’s face for a couple seconds before shaking his head.  “No, I’m not.”

“Then why-”  Yixing’s question ended with the pressing of Joonmyeon’s lips against his own in a kiss that was not as gentle as it should have been, considering they weren’t alone.  When Joonmyeon pulled back, his hand not linked with Yixing’s rose up to Yixing’s chin, hooking under it so he could rub his thumb against Yixing’s dampened lips.

“Because,” he murmured, voice and eyes suddenly filled with a desire that had Yixing all but trembling in anticipation, “I want to see what you look like on my bed.”

Yixing did tremble then, mind reeling at the promise in Joonmyeon’s tone, and then, he proceeded to gasp as Joonmyeon leaned in to kiss him once more.


	6. Friday Night

The apartment complex they arrived at was predictably large, and while he didn’t comment on it, Yixing was rather surprised when they rolled up to the front door to get out.  He kind of assumed they’d be going in through a less… obvious entrance, but Joonmyeon just chuckled softly as he pulled Yixing past the doorman.  

“The good thing about places like this is everyone exercises a strong sense of discretion,” he murmured as he led Yixing towards the elevator bay.

Yixing began to tap his foot as they waited for it to arrive, a nervous twitch that got increasingly worse as a few other people arrived from late night rounds of drinking and clubbing to wait with them.  

Eventually, Joonmyeon pressed their still linked hands firmly into the side of Yixing’s thigh, the backs of his fingers running across it soothingly.  “It’s fine,” he whispered softly, “They’re far too drunk to care.”

Yixing shuddered slightly, and his foot stopped tapping, but he was no less nervous as the elevator finally arrived and they stepped on, heading all the way up to the 21st floor.  Joonmyeon punched in the code to his apartment without even trying to shield the number from Yixing’s eyes, and Yixing wondered if he was just that trusting or that stupid.  

He was heavily inclined to believe the former, which made all types of feelings knot and twist inside Yixing’s stomach as he followed after Joonmyeon, toeing off his shoes in the entryway before looking up to take in his surroundings.

Joonmyeon’s apartment was predictably pristine.   Black leather sofas were accented tastefully with gray pillows and a throw in the main room they entered into, which was separated from the kitchen by a half wall up to which a few black stools were placed. 

The kitchen itself, Yixing didn’t have long to appreciate since he was pulled through the living room rather quickly, but what he saw of it was granite and tile, and all chrome appliances that Yixing wondered how frequently were actually used.  He had a hard time envisioning Joonmyeon as much of a domestic.  At the very least, Yixing figured his job didn’t give him much time to cook even if he wanted to.

Yixing briefly considered asking about that, but decided against it.  It was one of those nervous, unnecessary questions that he figured would spoil the mood.  Instead, he just let Joonmyeon pull him into the bathroom that resided right inside the door to the master bedroom through a walkway on the left. 

A well-lit counter, sink and mirror resided right there in the walkway before another door that led, presumably, to the actual shower, bath, and toilet, but Joonmyeon didn’t go that far, stopping in front of the sink and reaching out to grab, of all things, make-up removal wipes that were resting there on the counter as if they were the most normal thing in the world for a guy to possess.

Joonmyeon popped the top off the square container and pulled one out as Yixing just stared.  “Why do you have these?”  He asked as Joonmyeon reached up with the towelette in his hand, fingers trembling slightly as he connected it with Yixing’s face. 

He laughed lightly as he began to drag the small cloth back and forth, starting to remove everything Yixing had applied that evening. 

“You think you’re the only one who wears a mask?”  He asked quietly as he reached the only spot that was left, Yixing’s eyes.  “Close them.”  He whispered, and Yixing took in a small breath as his eyes fluttered shut.

Joonmyeon pressed the cloth against Yixing’s left eye firmly, pulling it back and pressing down again until the make-up was removed before transitioning to Yixing’s other eye, confirming that his previous words hadn’t just been for show.  Joonmyeon knew how to remove make-up, which meant he also probably wore it.  For what purpose, Yixing could only guess.

When Joonmyeon withdrew his hand for the final time, he didn’t say anything, not at first. 

Instead, Yixing heard a couple sounds he couldn’t quite make sense of before he heard Joonmyeon drop the towelette into the garbage.  Then both of his hands went up to Yixing’s face, tracing over his features gently as Yixing still kept his eyes closed, afraid to open them and see what Joonmyeon’s eyes now held as he finally saw just him.

Joonmyeon’s fingers trailed over Yixing’s eyes, down his nose, across his cheek bones, and settled on the sides of his face, pulling him forward to connect their lips in a tiny kiss that made Yixing’s eyes pop open as Joonmyeon pulled back, whispering against his mouth.   “There you are.”  He said, and Yixing shuddered as he saw eyes too filled with lust and affection to be so close, and he struggled to find anything he could say to get a little more distance between them just so he could have a chance to breathe

“Sure you’re not disappointed?”  He asked as Suho’s thumbs started to rub against his cheeks again.  It definitely was a subconscious thing Yixing decided, a way Joonmyeon tried to set people at ease, including him.

“Are you?”  Joonmyeon whispered back, and Yixing’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Why would I be…”  Yixing’s voice trailed off as Joonmyeon pulled back slightly, just enough that Yixing could see his entire face, and Yixing realized that the sounds he hadn’t quite understood were actually quite simple. 

Yixing had decided that Joonmyeon knew how to remove make-up because he wore it himself. What Yixing hadn’t realized was that not only did Joonmyeon wear make-up, but he’d been wearing it that very night, in addition to every other night that week.  The sounds Yixing couldn’t place had simply been Joonmyeon removing it, and now, Yixing found himself staring at Joonmyeon’s bare face as Joonmyeon stared back at his.   

Yixing was mildly surprised.  He had thought he was very good at telling when people had make-up on, but he hadn’t noticed Joonmyeon’s at all, which meant, Yixing realized, that it had been very well done. 

It had also done its job to perfection, hiding a couple extra lines Yixing could now see around Suho’s eyes, which also looked a bit smaller than before.  His nose also looked the tiniest bit wider and his complexion was slightly less smooth, but he definitely didn’t look bad.  If anything, he looked a little more human, and the cautious, vulnerable smile on his face as Yixing evaluated him had Yixing slowly shaking his head, wanting to allay Joonmyeon’s fears as surely as Joonmyeon desired to allay his.

“No.”  He whispered softly, hand reaching up with trembling fingers to cup around Suho’s face as well.

Suho smiled as he leaned into Yixing’s palm.  “Then neither am I.”  He said back.

Yixing stared at him for a second, lost in his eyes and in disbelief.   “Who are you really?”  He whispered, not for the first time.

Something flashed in Joonmyeon’s eyes, but then he shrugged and let a flirtatious, if still somewhat hesitant smile appear on his face instead.  “Someone who would really like to learn what it looks like to see your skin against his sheets, but is realizing he should probably make sure you are okay with that first.”

Yixing blinked, surprised and confused.  “I came with you, didn’t I?”  He asked.  He didn’t really see how Joonmyeon needed much more of an answer than that.

Still Joonmyeon just shrugged again, hands dropping down to ghost over Yixing’s arms, moving up and down slowly before squeezing into his biceps.  “That still doesn’t mean it is what you would prefer.”   He whispered, eyes lowering down away from Yixing’s face as he flushed, and Yixing just stared for a couple seconds as all kinds of things short circuited in his brain, rendering him temporarily mute as he realized exactly what Joonmyeon was trying to ask without really asking it. 

Finally, Yixing found his voice, but it was far from its usual tenor, half choked and disbelieving.  “What would you do if I said it wasn’t?”  He asked.

Joonmyeon’s hands around Yixing’s biceps clenched tightly for a couple seconds before he raised his face back up to look at Yixing’s own.  “I’d tell you where things were and get on the bed first.”  He whispered.

Well. 

Yixing just stood there for a couple seconds as he let that sink in, watching as Joonmyeon’s face cooled and his expression became mildly amused as he began to realize just how shocked Yixing was.  “What?”  He teased, “Surprised to hear that someone like me would lay down for you?”

Yixing swallowed dryly and bobbed his head.  “Yeah actually.”  He admitted.  It was unusual, to say the least.  Most of the guys who picked up Yixing at the club weren’t exactly looking to be the one to get fucked, obviously.

Joonmyeon let out another laugh, clearly becoming more relaxed the longer Yixing just stood there shell-shocked and disbelieving.

“You’ll discover Yixing, that I’m a very equal opportunity kind of person, especially when it comes to this,” he murmured, hands moving to slowly start pushing Yixing back out of the bathroom towards the bed.

When the back of his knees connected with mattress, Yixing jolted slightly, and Joonmyeon chuckled darkly.  “Last chance,” he said, fingers moving down to the hem of Yixing’s shirt, “Me or you?”

Yixing stared down at Joonmyeon’s hands for a couple seconds before reaching down to grab Joonmyeon’s wrists and pull him closer with a little jerk.  “Me,” he whispered just before connecting his lips with Joonmyeon’s own. 

It was what his mind was prepared for.  It was what his mind could process, and it definitely was the safer choice, because Yixing was fairly certain if he got inside Joonmyeon, he’d either mess something up or cry, because people didn’t give themselves like that to Yixing.  They just didn’t. 

Joonmyeon’s response to Yixing’s choice was swift and firm, the hands on Yixing’s shirt pulling it up insistently until it was yanked off over Yixing’s head as their kiss broke.  Joonmyeon’s followed swiftly after, aided by Yixing’s own helpful hands, and then, Joonmyeon was diving back in, tongue pushing past Yixing’s lips as he pressed down on Yixing’s shoulders, getting him seated along the edge of the bed. 

The change in angle had Joonmyeon pressing down into Yixing’s mouth, and the weight of his kiss was overwhelmingly strong.  Yixing knew how to breathe through kisses, or at least he thought he did, but he couldn’t breathe through this. 

He couldn’t breathe through Joonmyeon’s tongue dragging against the sides of his cheeks.  The backs of his teeth.  The sides of his gums.  Basically everywhere inside of Yixing's mouth. 

Yixing’s lungs were just starting to really and truly sting when Joonmyeon pulled back, his own chest heaving as he noisily swallowed a few gulps of air, making Yixing feel a bit better as he did the same before he laughed up at Joonmyeon’s face, still somewhat breathless.

“I think you forgot to breathe.”  He teased softly.

“So did you.”  Joonmyeon accused with a small laugh of his own, pushing Yixing slowly up his bed so that by the time they stopped moving again, Yixing was situated smack dab in the middle of it, bare back pressed against black sheets, the comforter cast off somewhere in the process of getting Yixing to the middle.

“Hard to remember when you’re kissing me like that.”  Yixing quipped and Joonmyeon laughed breathlessly again.

“Is that a compliment or a complaint?”  He asked, leaning down to kiss a lazy line across Yixing’s collar bone. 

“Both,” Yixing gasped out as Joonmyeon lightly nipped at his skin before pulling back to look at Yixing’s face.

“So… does that mean I can do it again?”  He asked as one of his hands moved to squeeze the side of Yixing’s neck before settling against it.

Yixing groaned, body trembling as his eyes closed, and he bobbed his head.  Breathing was overrated anyways. 

Joonmyeon’s dark chuckle in response was all the warning Yixing received before his lips crashed into Yixing’s again.

Perhaps he was a bit more prepared, or perhaps Joonmyeon was going a bit easier on him, but Yixing did manage to actually somewhat breathe as Joonmyeon licked into his mouth again.  He even managed to be responsive, which had basically been impossible the previous time, and perhaps, that was what actually made the difference, because every time Yixing’s tongue slid against Joonmyeon’s own, every time he slid past Joonmyeon’s lips instead, they separated just long enough that their mouths and their noses both got air.  That fact alone would have made the actions appealing, but they also were accompanied by Joonmyeon’s soft, muted groans, and that made them even better.

By the time Joonmyeon was pulling away from Yixing’s mouth for the second time since they’d really started, Yixing already felt pretty ravished, which was a bit ridiculous.  They’d literally only kissed.  Twice.  But his cock was already feeling heavy and hard, and his chest was heaving, and Joonmyeon’s hand, which was still squeezed delicately around the side of his neck, remained firmly in place as he leaned down to lick a line up the opposite side. 

Yixing’s entire body jolted as he straight up moaned, thoroughly annoying himself in the process because seriously, he wasn’t some juvenile who had never done this before. 

Joonmyeon continued to lick up in a line the curled around the shell of Yixing’s ear before he dropped back down to catch its lobe in his teeth with a gentle tug as Yixing moaned again, a hand going up to tangle in Joonmyeon’s hair as the other clenched into his sheets.

Joonmyeon let out a soft moan himself as Yixing’s fingers pulled against his hair, and then he was leaning down to place another kiss behind Yixing’s ear as he spoke in a breathless whisper. 

“You’re amazing.”

Yixing groaned as Suho’s lips momentarily reconnected with his skin, fingers twisting a bit harder into Joonmyeon’s hair.  “I haven’t even done anything yet.”  He complained, and he hadn’t, not really. 

Sure, he’d kind of kissed Joonmyeon back, but otherwise, he’d basically laid on the bed while Joonmyeon had turned him into a writhing, turned on mess, which apparently, was exactly what Joonmyeon liked so well, based on his reply.

“You’re responsive.”  He murmured, lips falling down to suck against the pulse point on Yixing’s neck, which had his hips bucking up on pure instinct as his cock jolted hard. 

It collided with Joonmyeon’s thigh, and while Yixing wasn’t really sure when Joonmyeon’s thigh had gotten between his legs, he was extremely glad it was there, pressing back against him firmly as Yixing ground himself into it once more, panting as Joonmyeon laved at what undoubtedly was going to be a mark Yixing was going to have a hell of a time covering come Monday.

Joonmyeon pulled back to study Yixing’s face once he was done, and Yixing was glad that, at the very least, Joonmyeon’s hair was now thoroughly messed up by his hand's work.  He would have been rather annoyed if Joonmyeon still looked completely pristine while he already looked a mess. 

Joonmyeon’s chest was also heaving slightly, and his breath was a little short, but as he leaned down to kiss around the side of Yixing’s face, he was still in control enough to ask another unexpected question.  “Do you want a turn?”

Yixing stared at Joonmyeon as he pulled back from his face, confused.  “What?”  He asked, finding it a bit difficult to have any coherent thoughts while he continued to slowly rub himself against Joonmyeon, something Joonmyeon seemed to be aware of because he shifted his leg to the side, knee digging into Yixing’s thigh, effectively breaking off the contact. 

Yixing whined at the loss of sensation, giving up on trying not to look foolish as he opted to voice his frustration, and Joonmyeon laughed in response, a dark and heady sound.

“You were complaining about not doing anything so, do you want a turn?”  Joonmyeon clarified, fingers reaching down to flick one of Yixing’s nipples before lightly twisting it in his grasp. 

It had already been hardened, but as his hand withdrew, it stood even tauter, and Yixing’s hips, which were now unable to move effectively with one of Joonmyeon’s knees pinning down his thigh, shook violently as he was hit with a fresh wave of arousal from the stimulation of a new location. 

Joonmyeon blinked in surprise as he glanced down at Yixing’s chest before his eyes went back to Yixing’s face.  “Is it always like this?”  He asked, tone stuck somewhere between awe and wonder.

Yixing flushed, ground his teeth, and shook his head.  “No.” 

“Huh.”  Joonmyeon said, and then he reached down to tweak Yixing’s other nipple experimentally before watching as Yixing’s hips jerked violently and shook again.  “Interesting,” he mused as Yixing groaned and released his ironclad grip on the bedsheets to bodily grab at Joonmyeon’s torso, hauling himself up and getting enough leverage to flip their positions as Joonmyeon laughed.

“Taking you turn?”  He asked, looking up at Yixing with heavily hooded eyes as his fingers strayed towards Yixing’s chest again.  Yixing caught his hand before it made contact and relocated it, pressing it firmly beneath Joonmyeon’s back, where it could cause no more trouble, before repeating the motion with Joonmyeon’s other hand as well.

“And what are you going to do, now that he you have me pinned?”  Joonmyeon asked, glancing side to side at his arms, flexing them gently.  Yixing knew he could move them if he actually tried, and that meant quite a lot, because Joonmyeon didn’t try.  He just cocked his head and waited for Yixing to respond. 

Yixing bit his lip, hesitating for a second before opting to continue to throw caution to the wind.

“Whatever the hell I want.”  He answered before he leaned down and captured one of Joonmyeon’s buds in his teeth, biting it lightly before soothing away the sensation with a couple quick swirls of his tongue around the darkened flesh. 

Joonmyeon gasped in response, and his body shook, arms shimmying slightly from side to side, but he did not pull them out.  He did not tell Yixing to stop, and so Yixing didn’t, bending forward to furnish the same treatment upon the other side.

Joonmyeon groaned, and Yixing saw his hips buck up beneath him, failing to connect with anything but air because Yixing was hovering above him on all fours.  Joonmyeon let out a frustrated, almost sob like sound as his hips lowered back down, and Yixing stared at his face for a couple seconds as Joonmyeon flushed deeply. 

“That’s not normal either.”  He whispered, almost whimpered, and Yixing suddenly laughed, because they were both stupid, and dumb, and apparently, anything that was supposed to be remotely ‘normal’ about this was so far thrown out the window that they might as well stop trying to get it back.  It was clearly gone.

Joonmyeon’s face flushed deeper as he writhed a bit beneath Yixing’s limbs.  “Please don’t laugh at me.” He begged, and Yixing’s laughter choked off in an instant before he quickly shook his head. 

“It’s not you I’m laughing at.”  He murmured as he lowered himself down, carefully aligning his pelvis with Joonmyeon’s own. 

Instantly, white hot pleasure lanced up his spine, and Joonmyeon groaned as his hips rolled up, the motion jerky at first, but quickly smoothed as Yixing pressed back down, guiding him into a rhythm that matched the beat of a random song that was playing in Yixing’s head for a little while before he stilled, sensing that both he and Joonmyeon were getting dangerously close to repeating their performance from the previous evening.

Yixing lifted his hips back up and away as Joonmyeon groaned at the loss before managing to respond to Yixing’s previous statement and a new, unspoken question as Yixing climbed off from sitting on top of him to glance around the room.

“Who then?  And top drawer on the left.”

“Thanks.”  Yixing said, crawling over to the bedside table and yanking it open to pull out a condom and lube that looked… not that well used, which made Yixing feel happier than he probably should as he took the liberty of pulling off his pants and boxers before crawling back to Joonmyeon’s side as he answered his question.  “I was laughing at both of us,” Yixing responded, swinging a leg across Joonmyeon’s hips as Joonmyeon gasped slightly at the sight of him.

Yixing flushed and kept talking to keep himself from being overwhelmed by another stupid wave of schoolgirl like nerves as he popped open the bottle of lube in his hands while dropping the condom to the bed.  “Because we keep trying to act like this is normal when clearly, it’s not.”

Yixing watched as Joonmyeon swallowed once before letting out a breathless response.  “Yeah…” He whispered and then he, very slowly and carefully, much like on the very first night when he reached out to touch Yixing’s foot, pulled one, just one, of his hands out from underneath his back as he tilted his head to the side.

Yixing bit his lip before nodding once, stomach clenching as his muscles braced themselves for impact, and Joonmyeon’s hand extended, wrapping around Yixing’s cock where it rested, proud and taut, almost against Yixing’s stomach. 

Yixing almost dropped the bottle of lube in his hands. 

He did squeeze way too much out of it, and once Joonmyeon released him from his grasp, seemingly well aware that unless he wanted an early curtain call, he’d better stop, Yixing just stared at his palm for a couple seconds as he tried to figure out what he should do with it.  In the end, he shrugged and scooped some of it off his palm before placing it on Joonmyeon’s chest. 

He shivered as the cool substance made contact with his skin before he chuckled and freed his other hand to grab Yixing’s hips and grind his still clothed cock up against him.  “For later?”  He asked, tone lustful and dark.

Yixing moaned out a response as he felt Joonmyeon slip between his cheeks, rubbing against him deliciously in tiny sparks of sensation, hole already clenching in anticipation at the promising length and girth currently rubbing against it. 

Yixing sincerely hoped that doing things at this angle made it all take a very, very long time.  It would be a shame to waste something so amazing with a two second fuck.  (Hell, they’d already come dangerously close to doing that once already.)

Yixing reached down with his free hand to push himself forward, off of Joonmyeon’s cock and onto his stomach, and Yixing imagined Joonmyeon might have whined about that, if not for the fact that Yixing gave him only a split second to be disappointed. 

He quickly altered the angle of his hips against Joonmyeon’s chest and dropped his lubed hand down, sinking a single finger into himself with relative ease.  Yixing did this often enough that it wasn’t like that much was particularly hard.

Still, his body shook at the intrusion, and Joonmyeon’s throaty groan of approval sent a couple of vibrations through Yixing’s hand into his body, where they caused his walls to flutter. 

Yixing moaned softly, and was glad when Joonmyeon shifted his hands to hold him in place.  He wasn’t sure he was going to be doing a very good job of that by himself.

He slowly dragged his first finger back down before pumping it back in, eyes clenched shut as he took a few breaths to adjust to the sensation while Joonmyeon’s fingers clenched into his hips as he groaned again. 

Yixing distantly wondered if he was doing it on purpose.  If Joonmyeon knew that particular sound made his chest vibrate deliciously.  If he did, Yixing quickly decided that Joonmyeon was simultaneously the most amazing, and evil, person he had ever fingered himself open for, if he hadn’t been already.  (He pretty much had, but the vibrating really took it to another level.)

Yixing thrust his first finger in several times before he dared to look down at Joonmyeon’s face, knowing that whenever he finally did, a few things would happen. 

One, his cock was going to jerk, which it did, slapping against his stomach as precome sprung forth from its tip, a visceral reaction to Joonmyeon’s darkened, heavy gaze. 

Two, Joonmyeon’s hands would squeeze around him tighter, which they did, making Yixing’s legs go a bit weak, which was honestly good, because it made him relax enough for…

Three, Yixing slipping another finger in alongside his first, a sudden surge in desire spurring him forward. 

Joonmyeon groaned instantly in response, and Yixing set about pumping his two fingers into himself at a slightly elevated place, scissoring them wide as he pulled them down in hopes of building up to a third a bit more quickly.  He was already tired of waiting, and Joonmyeon’s heady, intoxicating gaze was all Yixing needed to know that Joonmyeon, while waiting patiently, wasn’t going to be in any way opposed to Yixing’s moving things along faster. 

In fact, as Yixing jerked his hand in hard and he keened, unexpectedly hitting his prostate for the first time, one of Joonmyeon’s hands moved from his hip to Yixing’s wrist, pulling it back just a bit before thrusting it in shallowly, maintaining the angle of Yixing’s fingers so that they brushed his prostate a few more times before Joonmyeon guided his hand all the way down and murmured.  “You should add another.”

Yixing bit his lip and bobbed his head, slowly lining up another finger alongside his other two and wedging the tip of it inside his rim before Joonmyeon’s hand took over again, pushing it all the way in to the knuckle in a single, hard thrust.  Yixing jolted and let out a tiny cry, walls clenching around his three fingers as they adjusted to the added width.

Unexpectedly, Joonmyeon’s other hand started to knead into the flesh of Yixing’s ass, waiting until Yixing began to pull his own hand down before starting to help again. 

Yixing wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.  He was almost in control, but not, and it was oddly satisfying to be able to focus on only one thing, the angle of his fingertips, while Joonmyeon worried about the other, hand working Yixing’s three finger in and out in a rhythm that wasn’t quite steady, but was steady enough that it was still extremely satisfying.  It had Yixing back on the edge in minutes, and he tensed his arm, preventing Joonmyeon from thrusting his fingers back in again after pulling them down.

Both of Joonmyeon’s hands froze, and after a looking at Yixing for a second, lust filled eyes questioning, Yixing nodded, and Joonmyeon carefully guided Yixing’s hand the rest of the way out of his body.

Yixing still groaned at the departure and groped around for a couple seconds in search of the rubber he had dropped what felt like ages ago. 

When his fingers finally curled around the tiny square of packaging, a bubble of anticipation welled in his chest and Yixing made another of his split decisions after first working Joonmyeon’s pants and underwear down his legs with a couple helpful kicks, and trying very hard not to lick his lips at the sight that greeted him. 

He turned around.

Joonmyeon groaned.  “What are you doing?”  He asked.

Yixing didn’t respond.  Instead, he tore the condom wrapper open with his teeth, and very carefully, he positioned it against his mouth before leaning down and slowly pushing it on while using only his lips. 

It wasn’t necessarily the best tasting experience, but it was definitely one Yixing didn’t regret as he worked his lips back up slowly to eliminate any air while Joonmyeon moaned, legs straining against Yixing’s hands, which had connected with his thighs firmly as he pushed down, not wanting an unexpected thrust to make him gag.

Joonmyeon was all but panting as Yixing’s lips popped off his cock, and he groaned as Yixing reached out a hand to give a final pass at making sure he hadn’t messed anything up. 

It didn’t seem that he had, which was good because Joonmyeon was finally sounding far less patient from behind him.  “Are you done yet?”  he asked, and Yixing glanced back over his shoulder, a wave of confidence rippling through him because finally, finally, Joonmyeon was just as wrecked looking as Yixing had felt since almost the very beginning. 

“I could play longer.”  He murmured, letting his hand drop down away from Joonmyeon’s cock to squeeze around his balls.  Joonmyeon groaned again as his hips jerked up.

“Not if you want this in you.”  He gasped, and Yixing laughed, a light airy sound.

“Well then, I suppose I should move on.”  He said, hand clenching around Joonmyeon once more.

“You should.”  Joonmyeon gasped out as Yixing released him, sliding forward over Joonmyeon’s cock while still facing away from him after first grabbing a bit of his previously reserved lube and gliding it on to Joonmyeon with the barest of touches that still made him hiss.

Joonmyeon groaned as Yixing passed over him, and then Yixing reached back, hand wrapping around Joonmyeon's base to hold him steady before he carefully lined himself up and sunk down, taking Joonmyeon in slowly, one inch at a time.

Given Joonmyeon’s obsession with faces, Yixing would have felt bad about doing this facing away from him.  Really, he would have, except for the fact that Yixing wasn’t dumb, and he knew that the mirror attached to the dresser across from the foot of the bed was exactly where it need to be for Joonmyeon to still see everything he could possibly want to see in regards to Yixing’s face and his ass as it took Joonmyeon in, and Yixing figured that would be an even better visual for him, even if it wasn’t necessarily better for Yixing.  He closed his eyes about half way through, the image of his face scrunching up as he adjusted to Joonmyeon’s girth a bit more than he could take. 

When he finally finished, bottoming out as he sat on top of Joonmyeon with his cock buried deep, Yixing just trembled and kept his eyes shut for a couple seconds before trusting himself to speak. 

“You’re amazing.”  He whimpered, grinding down gently with a twist of his hips as he waited for himself to fully adjust, and to be honest, sometimes Yixing had said that and not really meant it, but in this case, Joonmyeon really, really was. 

He wasn’t huge, but he wasn’t small.  He was just right, curving inside YIxing to fill him just deep enough and stretch him out just wide enough that pleasure blotted out any pain, and then Joonmyeon leaned forward, fingers brushing around Yixing’s hole.

“You’re working way too hard.”  He murmured, finger’s teasing gently around their connection. 

Yixing groaned, rim already stretched wide and sensitive before Joonmyeon slowly let his hands trail up over the curves of Yixing’s ass to clutch around his hips once more while he braced his feet against the bed, giving Yixing just enough time to prepare himself before Joonmyeon’s hips snapped up in the first of what Yixing’s hoped would be many, many thrusts.

The movement was short and quick, and still, Yixing bounced, skin connecting loudly with Joonmyeon’s own as his cock bobbed in the air, slapping into to stomach again as it tightened up a bit further.  Joonmyeon groaned deeply, a beautiful counter to the higher pitched moan that passed Yixing’s lips, and then, he thrust up again. 

This time, Yixing pressed back to meet him, drawing Joonmyeon deeper and his knees went momentarily weak as his body shook, simultaneously loving and cursing the fact that somehow, they had found his prostate on the very second try because, yes, it felt fucking amazing, Joonmyeon slamming up into him right there.  It made him almost see stars while his balls clenched and his cock leaked precome like a fountain.  However, it also wouldn’t make him come for a long damn time, and as Joonmyeon’s hands curled around Yixing’s hips, effectively locking him into place, Yixing knew he was about to endure what would probably be the most pleasurable, and torturous, experience of his life.

Joonmyeon thrust up into him roughly again, and Yixing cried out his name. 

Three more thrusts, and Yixing started swearing in Chinese instead. 

Five more after that, Yixing lost all coherency and just started moaning in a single long sound broken up by a series of small cries that were released in time with every upwards snap of Joonmyeon’s hips.

Joonmyeon slowly gained momentum and force, driving up into Yixing hard and deep while rarely messing up the angle, and when he did, he always seemed extra determined to get it right the next time around. 

Joonmyeon had accused Yixing of working too hard, but he definitely was too.  He was panting and groaning, and Yixing was so close to the edge that he really hoped he wasn’t misreading things, because he was far past being able to ask if he was as he reached down to wrap his hand around his own leaking cock while Joonmyeon thrust up once more. 

Either he’d seen Yixing move in the mirror, or he’d just had a spurt of feeling extra determined again, because Joonmyeon’s hands around Yixing’s hips pulled him down tight as he ground up against Yixing’s prostate for a couple extra seconds.  Yixing took the opportunity and slid his hand up his cock to grind his thumb into the slit and in seconds, he was coming with a ridiculous sounding sob of relief. 

Joonmyeon let Yixing ride out most of his release with his cock still firmly pressed against his prostate while Yixing’s walls squeezed around him tight, but as Yixing felt himself coming down, Suho slowly began to move again in a series of shallow thrusts that were definitely less about Yixing and more about him, but that was okay.  Yixing was already well past done, and when he was recovered enough to move, he reached down to grab Joonmyeon’s thighs and help pull them over so that Joonmyeon was now on top of Yixing as he pressed him face first into the mattress. 

Once in that position, Joonmyeon started thrusting in to Yixing with an increased, almost reckless pace until his body shook hard as Yixing felt his cock ripple with a release he couldn’t feel, and Yixing momentarily wished they hadn’t bothered with a condom at all, except for the fact that it was so much messier, and a pain in the ass, somewhat literally, to clean. 

Joonmyeon fell forward onto Yixing’s back with a groan, not slipping out right away as he turned his head to kiss Yixing’s shoulder blades.  Yixing hummed in approval, body still slightly tingling from his own release, and Joonmyeon’s successive thrusts, while feeling completely sated and spread out his arms, giving Joonmyeon more skin to kiss.

Joonmyeon did, lips grazing over Yixing’s back as he whispered things the content of which wasn’t really important.  All that mattered was that his tone of voice made Yixing feel inexplicably safe and warm, and Yixing yawned, exhausted and very much ready to fall asleep feeling just like that until Joonmyeon laughed softly from on top of him and grunted as he pulled out.

“Don’t fall asleep yet.”  He whispered, and Yixing groaned, a frustrated, impulsive sound.

“I’m tired.”  He whined, and Joonmyeon laughed again, hand lightly connecting with back of Yixing’s thigh.

“Give me a second.  You really don’t want to fall asleep like this, do you?”  He asked, hand gesturing down at Yixing’s waist, where, yes, Yixing could feel lube and other unpleasant things, but he really didn’t care.  He wasn’t that dirty, but of course, Joonmyeon seemed to mind, and he got up from the bed even as Yixing mumbled something about Joonmyeon being ridiculous and overly attentive.

“Deal with it.”  Joonmyeon said affectionately as he returned, dampened cloth running over Yixing’s skin, wiping him clean, and Yixing did have to admit that he felt much better wiped off and with a new sheet pulled up over the pair off them as Joonmyeon pulled him up onto his chest. 

He turned and kissed a random piece of skin, mumbling out a thanks that may or may not have been in the right language, Yixing wasn’t really sure, and closed his eyes as Joonmyeon started to hum, carding his fingers through Yixing’s hair until he fell asleep.


	7. The Morning After

Yixing woke up, and Joonmyeon was still there, heart beating softly as his chest rose and fell, the sounds of his breathing echoing in Yixing’s ears.  

The sounds and the movements were almost foreign.  Yixing was used to waking up alone, and the fact that he wasn’t, the fact that Suho was still there, breathing softly beneath him while still sound asleep, was almost as amazing as the previous night, almost.  

Yixing felt his cheeks heat as he thought over the previous evening, and he laughed, a small, helpless sound.  

He was just so happy, and content, and warm.

Yixing nuzzled into Joonmyeon’s chest before Joonmyeon shifted slightly in response to Yixing’s laughter, and Yixing looked up to see the features on his face becoming somewhat distorted as he almost woke up.  Yixing quickly reached up to run a soothing hand through Joonmyeon's hair, humming softly until Joonmyeon's face relaxed, and he let out a sleepy sigh instead.  

Yixing smiled to himself as he carefully drew his hand back away from Joonmyeon's hair and delicately extracted himself from his arms.

He climbed off the bed and headed to the bathroom, feeling a bit stiff, but not too sore, and splashed some water onto his face before looking at himself in the mirror.

His hair was a bit of a mess, going several opposing directions.  He also had another impressively sized hickey on his throat, and as Yixing raised his fingers up to brush against it, thinking over the make-up he’d need to use to cover it on Monday, Yixing remembered something else, the make-up removal wipes on the counter.  

Well, no, not actually the wipes.  Rather, Yixing remembered that Joonmyeon used them because he wore make-up for a job that Yixing still knew practically nothing about.

Yixing let out a sigh as he lowered his hand down from his neck, his sudden remembrance of everything he still didn’t know about Joonmyeon quickly dispersing the afterglow he’d been basking in since waking up.   

Now what?

Yixing had slept with Joonmyeon.  

It had been, quite possibly, the most amazing sex he’d ever had, and, he liked to believe that Joonmyeon felt the same way.  

However, it wasn’t like they could build a relationship off of that, and outside of it, what did they have?  

Some kind words and dancing?  

Yes.

Some personal revelations and whispered secrets?

A few.

Perhaps some genuine feelings and affection?

Yixing liked to think so, but it was hard to be really sure, and regardless, even if all of that were true, they were still rather stuck if Yixing couldn’t even know who Joonmyeon was outside of his name.

Yixing sighed and backed out of the bathroom, studying Joonmyeon where he was still asleep on the bed.  

Really, where did they go from here?

Yixing didn’t know, but as he studied Joonmyeon’s face from where he stood, he was acutely aware of the darkened circles under his eyes and decided that as much as he’d like to ask Joonmyeon that question right then, he needed to get more sleep first.  Therefore, Yixing tiptoed around the room to grab his sweats from the previous evening, which were still wearable, unlike his boxers, and slipped them on before padding out of the bedroom to see if there was any actual food in Joonmyeon’s kitchen.

To Yixing’s surprise, there was, and as he pulled an apple out of the fridge and took a bite, he glanced around at his surroundings and had a sudden revelation.  

He was in Joonmyeon’s apartment.  Surely, there were things in it that could tell Yixing more about the person Joonmyeon was, and despite a small part of his brain telling him that he was technically snooping, Yixing started to look around Joonmyeon’s place.

He started in the kitchen which gave very little away, other than that Joonmyeon most likely had a mother that cared about him very much, because his fridge was stuffed full of banchan that were dated and labeled in handwriting that looked a touch too feminine to have come from Joonmyeon himself.  That realization, at least, made Yixing smile.  It was somewhat cute.  

He then shut the fridge and strolled into the living room, eyes taking in things he hadn’t registered the night before as he had been pulled through the dimly lit room, and slowly, his smiles ceased.  

The first thing Yixing came upon in the living room was the diplomas, and even though Yixing was no expert in English, he could recognize names like Yale and Harvard, and also Law School, and while none of those things were necessary a problem on their own, they all combined to make Joonmyeon feel a lot farther away from Yixing than he’d ever felt before.

Yixing was a graduate from a small university with a general business degree.  

Joonmyeon clearly was not, and the gap between their schools wasn’t like traveling from Busan to Seoul, it was like going to the moon and back.  

Yixing sighed and stepped away from the diplomas, trying not to think about it too much, trying not to feel inferior, but it was hard, and then, his eyes fell upon the picture frames on the decorative mantle along the wall, and the feelings of inferiority disappeared to be replaced with shock and disbelief.

From a distance, the pictures looked innocent enough.  Family portraits and a couple snapshots with friends.  The problem was however, that as Yixing looked at the picture of Suho with his parents, and who he assumed to be his brother, Yixing realized that not all the faces in the frame were unknown to him.  One he knew very, very well, and that was the face of Joonmyeon’s dad.  

How could he not?

He had participated in the presidential elections a few years back, although he had dropped out before the end, and maybe, maybe that alone wouldn’t have been enough to get Yixing rushing back to Joonmyeon’s bedroom to pack his bags and leave, but that, coupled with the fact that Yixing knew his associated political party to be notoriously anti-gay, had him there in seconds.

This could go nowhere.

In fact, it was already done, because no matter what pretty words Joonmyeon said, he could never be who he claimed he wanted to be.  There was no way he could ruin his father like that, and so, Yixing needed to leave, before it got too hard to go, except, it already was.  

Yixing could feel himself starting to cry as he hastily moved across Joonmyeon’s bedroom and grabbed his shirt, not even trying to be quiet, which meant Joonmyeon started to stir as Yixing pulled his shirt on, but Yixing just ignored him and started to all but run towards the door, pretending he didn’t hear the sound of Joonmyeon’s voice calling out his name.

He almost just ran through it, but he didn’t have that many pairs of shoes and so he paused, trying to at least get them slipped onto the fronts of his feet, which of course, gave Joonmyeon just enough time to catch up, chest heaving as his hand on Yixing’s shoulder spun him around.

It was all Yixing could do to look at his concerned face and not completely burst into tears.  

How?  How had he fallen so fucking hard in five days that leaving Joonmyeon now could hurt this much, and, more importantly, why?  Why had Joonmyeon let it happen when he knew, he fucking knew, that it could go nowhere in the end?  

“Yixing-” Joonmyeon began, voice hesitant as his hand squeezed around his shoulder.

Yixing shook his hand off, voice sounding more broken and much less angry than he would have liked as he spoke.  “Why?”

“What?”  Joonmyeon asked, eyes widening as his hand hung in the air between them.

“Why, Joonmyeon why?  Why did you do this? Why when it’s so clear that in the end it can’t go anywhere?”  Yixing asked, and by the end, he was sounding as angry as he was upset, and at least that was somewhat vindicating, but Joonmyeon’s expression, one of shock and pain, didn’t make Yixing feel all that good.

“Yixing…”  Joonmyeon said softly, for once clearly at a loss for words.  His hand dropped to his side as he just stood there, and as Yixing studied his face for a few more seconds, his resolve hardened, and he let out a bitter laugh.

“So it’s not me who turns into a pumpkin, it’s you.”  He said, amused by the irony.  All this time he'd thought he'd be the reason this ended, but he wasn't.  Joonmyeon was.

Joonmyeon blinked, and then suddenly, he started shaking his head, and his hand stretched out towards Yixing again.  Yixing dodged it as Joonmyeon spoke.  “How can you decide that without even asking me?”  He whispered.

Yixing laughed again.  “Because I have eyes.”  He said, hand pointing towards the living room before gesturing towards Joonmyeon’s form.  “I have eyes.”

“And how do you know what you’re seeing is the truth?”  Joonmyeon challenged, taking a step forward.

“Because I do.”  Yixing said, taking a step back and wrapping his hand around the handle of the front door.

Joonmyeon let out a frustrated sound in response.  “Yixing not everything you see-”

“Not everything I see is real?  Well then tell me, is that picture real?  Is he your father?”  Yixing asked, voice rising in volume along with the springing forth of a few more stupid tears.

Joonmyeon kept his voice steady, but Yixing could see the hurt in his eyes.  He could see it was the truth even before Joonmyeon said anything.  “Yes, he is but-”

Yixing shook his head.  “No, there is no but.  There is no future in this, in us, and you know it, so just stop.”

“But-” Joonmyeon tried again.

“No.”  Yixing cut off with a shake of his head, as he got the door open behind him.

Joonmyeon’s eyes narrowed, and suddenly, his voice lost its even keel, dropping to something that was both accusatory and yet undeniably sad.  “You’re afraid.  You’re afraid, and so you're running away.”

Yixing wasn’t even surprised Joonmyeon had realized that before Yixing had himself.  

He was afraid.  He was afraid of Joonmyeon and of his feelings and of the world changing far too fast, and he wasn’t even going to try to deny it.  There was no point.

“You’re right.  I am, and guess what?  You still can’t stop me.”  Yixing said, and then he turned tail and ran, bypassing the elevator for the stairs.

By the time he had gotten down 21 flights of them, it was impossible to tell if his chest was heaving from exertion or from tears.


	8. The Year Passed

(Three Weeks Later)

Regret is for the weak.

So Yixing had told Joonmyeon what felt like a lifetime ago.

Yixing still believed that.

Yixing still believed that regret was something that people lived with when they weren't strong enough, weren't brave enough, to change themselves, but that didn't stop Yixing from having it.

In fact, Yixing had many regrets.  

He regretted that he left without letting Joonmyeon explain.  

He regretted that he wasn't brave enough to go back the next day and admit that maybe he was wrong and he would listen to whatever Joonmyeon had to say.  

He regretted avoiding Luhan's club until Luhan stopped calling to inform him that Joonmyeon was there, looking for him.  

Basically, Yixing regretted everything he had done from the moment he had woken up in Joonmyeon's apartment three weeks ago, and yet, Yixing couldn’t bring himself to do anything to change it.  

Yixing wasn't strong enough, wasn't brave enough, for that, so instead, Yixing did the one thing he knew he could do, Yixing danced.  

Every day after work Yixing would go down to the studio at the end of the street and ask Taemin, the guy who ran the desk, if there was a room available, and sometimes Yixing had to wait, but eventually, there always was, and Yixing would go in, plug his phone into the speakers, and let go.  

He let go of his fears.  He let go of his regrets.  He let go of everything, except Joonmyeon, who in Yixing's mind was there, watching Yixing dance like no one was watching, except, someone was.  

The clapping that broke through the silence as Yixing paused, chest heaving, was deafening and made Yixing jump.  

He turned sharply, eyes falling upon a women standing in the doorway with long blonde hair, wearing a pair of jeans, and a t-shirt.  He didn't recognize her, but before he could ask who she was, she started speaking first.

"Very impressive.  Taemin really should have mentioned earlier that the guy he occasionally let borrow a room was this good."  She said, walking in as she looked Yixing appreciatively up and down.

Instantly, Yixing shook his head.  "I'm just average."

The woman laughed in Yixing’s face, but it wasn't spiteful sounding.  Rather, it sounded genuinely amused, and her voice sounded the same as she responded to Yixing's words.  "If that's average, then my studio is going to be in need of a new grading scale.  Tell me.  Do you teach?"

Yixing blinked.  "What?"  He asked, now thoroughly confused.  

"Have you ever taught someone to dance before?  It's a simple question."  The woman clarified, still smiling as she took a second to walk around Yixing’s form, still checking him out.  

Instantly, Yixing’s mind flashed to Joonmyeon, and the way Yixing’s hand had guided him back a lifetime ago.  "Once."  He whispered as he clenched his hand into a fist, trying to force away the tingling that had entered it.

The woman smiled even wider as she stopped in front of Yixing’s face.  “Great.  Would you be interested in doing it again?"  She asked, tone bright and genuine.

"What?"  Yixing asked, confused.

"Two of my instructors just quit, so I have vacancies to fill.  Taemin seemed to think you might be able to do it.  It’s okay if you can’t.“ She explained with a shrug.

Yixing stared at her for a couple seconds, trying to figure out just who this woman was and why she was offering him a job.  Finally, he gave up on the later, clearly her eyes must just be as broken as Joonmyeon’s, and asked about the former.  “Not to be rude, but who are you?"

The woman blinked in surprise before she let out another laugh.  "Oh, oops.  I guess I skipped that part didn't I?  I'm Hyoyeon, and this," she gestured around the room they were in with her hands, "is my dance studio.  I own this place.”

Yixing blinked in surprise and then quickly bowed his head in Hyoyeon’s direction.  "I apologize.  I didn't know—"

"Don't worry about it.”  Hyoyeon said, cutting him off while waving a hand towards his face, “More importantly, what do you say?   Are you going to be able to help me or not?  It’ll be a temporary thing at first of course.  I have to make sure you're good."  

Hyoyeon ended her final sentence with a wink, and Yixing was fairly certain that meant that she already thought he was very good, and so her supposed ‘temporary thing’ was all but permanent, if Yixing wanted it.  The thought made Yixing’s mind race.

Should he do it?  

No, not even should he do it, could he do it?  

Yixing had never really taught in a formal setting before, and that alone was intimidating without considering the people, the choreography, the practicing, and inevitably, the recitals that would never be good enough.  

Yixing opened his mouth to say ‘no.’  He couldn't teach kids how to dance.  He didn't know how.

Besides, even if he did, he probably still shouldn’t do it because he would most likely just taint their own dance aspirations with his rotten luck.

Before the words could pass Yixing’s lips however, Joonmyeon's face flashed in his mind, and Yixing’s mouth temporarily snapped back shut.

You’re afraid.  You're afraid, and you're running away.

Yes.  Yixing was afraid.   He was terrified.  Terrified of failing and having this all go horribly wrong, but if it did, did it really matter?  If he failed at being a dance instructor, what really changed?

The answer, Yixing suddenly realized, was nothing.

Alternatively though… alternatively, if it went well, Yixing would be dancing again, and… Yixing loved to dance.  He really and truly did.

Yixing reopened his mouth as he nodded his head.  "I’d be willing to try, but the classes will have to be late.  I work until five or six"

The nervous expression that had formed on Hyoyeon’s face as she waited for Yixing’s response transformed into a wide smile in an instant.  "That won't be a problem.  The kids study late too."

Yixing smiled, fighting down the nerves already coiling in his chest.  "Great."

\---

Becoming a dance instructor was different than just dancing.  Suddenly Yixing had to explain how to do something, not just do it, and oftentimes, that took an extraordinary amount of patience, along with just enough encouragement and tough love to make dancers half his age believe they could move their bodies in ways they often initially said were impossible.  

Personally, Yixing loved it when they said that because then, he got to help them prove themselves wrong.  He got to watch as their eyes lit up, and they laughed, and they kept executing a body roll or step sequence over and over because they finally understood how to do it, and slowly, without even noticing it, Yixing’s life began to right itself.  

Yixing began to change.

He laughed more.  Talked more too.  He became a bit more confident, a bit more assertive, and when the first recital at 6 months was met with effusive praise, he beamed, and took every compliment graciously while bowing deep.

The next day, he went into work and quit his job and started working fulltime for Hyoyeon instead.

The pay was definitely less.  He even had to downsize his apartment, but Yixing didn’t really care.  

He just knew that he was happy to be dancing again, and even if it was slightly different from his original dream, it was plenty good enough, and while Yixing occasionally wished Joonmyeon was there to see it, wished that Joonmyeon knew that even if Yixing hadn’t been brave enough for him, he had been brave enough to change himself, it didn't hurt to think of him anymore.

In fact, after ten months of not seeing Joonmyeon, Yixing had just about convinced himself he was over him.

Then, the book came out.

Yixing saw it one day as he walked into the bookstore sitting on a display near the very front.  Its cover was a boy who was wearing white harem pants, golden fishnet and bells, and that image, coupled with the author, froze Yixing in place.

Masks by Suho

Yixing picked up the book without looking inside it, purchased it, and went home.  

He then called up Hyoyeon to inform her he'd be unable to teach that evening.   

She whined into the phone that the spring recital was coming up, making Yixing laugh because, honestly, it was still a month away, but after that, he apologized profusely.  He’d work extra hard the next day he promised.

Eventually, Hyoyeon huffed and let him go, telling him he owed her one.  Yixing almost wanted to tell her that he owed her several ones, but he held back the quip as he hung up the phone and redirected his attention to the book in his lap, a book he knew he needed to read.

From the very first page, a brief author’s note, it did not disappoint.  

You hold in your hands a collection of stories, not about strippers, or bar owners, or rich chaebols, but rather, about people.  People who may live their lives a bit differently than you, but that still breathe the same air, walk the same earth, and want, believe it or not, the very same things as you do.  

They want to feel loved and protected and safe.  They want to achieve their dreams.  They want to overcome their regrets and throw off their masks.  They want to be brave, and this book is them being just that.  

This book is them throwing off their masks and baring their souls.  This is them telling you their stories so that you can judge them, not based on who you think they are, but based on who they actually are, and I hope that by the end of it, you will see them all as I already know them to be, people, no different from you or me.  

Yixing swallowed down a knot in his throat and turned the page, eyes falling upon the title of the very first story and an accompanying quote.

Kai

“You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive.” ― Merce Cunningham

Yixing managed to smile softly around the still there knot in his throat as he let his fingertips trace over the words on the page.  

They were accurate.  They were true, and Yixing was impressed that Joonmyeon had found them and used them to describe Jongin.  They fit perfectly.  

A single tear dropped onto the page, and Yixing sighed, looking up at the ceiling.  Only after he was certain that no more tears were going to fall, did he look back down and begin to read a story he already somewhat knew.

\---

Yixing ended up finishing the entire book in one night.  

Well, actually, no, not the entire book.  He skipped one chapter.  The last one.  

The one titled Lay.  

It was a chapter he just couldn't quite bring himself to read.

Not right then.  

Yixing set Masks down on his desk and went to sleep, telling himself he’d read it later while knowing he might not, but even if Yixing wasn’t sure if he was ever going to finish Masks, everyone else did.

It was the first book of its kind and everyone, literally everyone, had an opinion about it, be it good or bad.  

The biggest mystery though, the one thing every morning talk show host and gossip blog and entertainment site couldn't get over: who was the author?

Theories ran rampant, and finally, just as the hysteria seemed to be reaching its peak, just as Yixing found that the book seemed to be everywhere, his phone rang, and he picked it up to be greeted with the sound of Luhan's breathless voice.  "Oh my god, did you know?"

Yixing's brow furrowed.  "What are you talking about?"  He asked.

He already had, had to deal with plenty of nervous and questioning glances from anyone who knew the final chapter was about him.  They'd come from Jongin, from Minseok, from Luhan, and from Baekhyun.  Hell, they'd even come from Chanyeol, but none of them had ever directly asked him anything.  

Given the things Yixing imagined the final chapter might contain, he wasn’t surprised, not that their hesitant and nervous glances made him feel all that much better.

"Yixing.”  Minseok answered, taking over for Luhan, “What Luhan is trying to ask is did you know that Suho…” Minseok’s voice trailed off as Yixing heard Luhan take a sharp intake of breath.

“You know what,” Minseok said, “Never mind.  Just turn on your TV and go to channel two."

Yixing’s brow furrowed as he looked around for his remote for a couple seconds before finally finding it and turning on the television.  "What's wrong with you two?  It almost sounds like..."

Yixing’s voice trailed off as he stared at the television screen, watching as white words scrolled across a red bar while pictures of Joonmyeon, and the rest of his family, flashed on screen.

Author of Masks revealed to be Kim Joonmyeon - Announces intent to run for National Assembly in 2016 - Father renounces previous anti-gay rhetoric, introduces reform

Yixing fell back onto his couch and just stared, watching as analysts began to break down the announcement before frantically turning the television off when they said they were going to show a live clip.  Yixing didn’t think he could take hearing Joonmyeon’s voice, not when his entire understanding of the world was already being flipped on its head.

He sat on the couch with his phone still pressed against his ear, not saying anything as Minseok and Luhan remained just as silent on the other end.  

Finally, Luhan repeated his initial question.  "Did you know?"

Yixing considered that.  

He almost wanted to answer ‘no’, because no, he hadn’t known this was Joonmyeon’s plan.  

He hadn’t known that.  

If he had known that…

Yixing didn’t know.  He might have been too afraid to stay regardless.

Still, he was fairly certain what Luhan wanted to know was whether or not Yixing knew who Joonmyeon was, and the answer to that was “Yes."

Sort of.

Clearly Yixing had gotten a couple things, perhaps even a lot of things, wrong, and as Yixing sat there running through conversations that were practically ingrained into his memory, he came to several new conclusions.  

One, Joonmyeon’s words about wanting to make the world change were not just an idyllic wish, but rather, a sincerely held goal.

Two, to achieve that goal, he had needed to keep secrets.  Yixing knew little of politics, but he figured a move such as this required a delicate, sensitive approach.  If it leaked early, it was definitely the type of thing that could quickly spiral out of control.

And three, even though Yixing had learned over the months how to think about Joonmyeon and still be able to breathe, he wasn't really over him.  Not even close.  

\---

Yixing kept that new found knowledge to himself, unsure what he should do about it.  

It wasn't like he could just waltz back into Joonmyeon's life, not after he'd stormed out of it.  Not to mention that if he did, Yixing would undoubtedly have to join Joonmyeon under the bright lights and scrutiny to which Joonmyeon had willingly subjected himself, and while Yixing might have rediscovered a love for the stage, the life-sized one onto which Joonmyeon had climbed was extremely intimidating.  

It made Yixing wish he could just forget Joonmyeon's hesitant and nervous expressions as he spoke in his first interview, which yes, Yixing eventually watched.  In fact, it made Yixing wish he could just forget about Joonmyeon entirely, but he couldn't, not when, everywhere Yixing looked, he saw Joonmyeon's face and saw things he knew other people didn't see.  

For example, he saw the way Joonmyeon was definitely wearing a bit more make-up than before in order to cover up sleep deprived eyes and stress lines, the very sight of which made Yixing want to go back to Joonmyeon’s apartment, push him down on to his bed, and hold him to his chest until he slept.  

Alternatively, he also saw that while Joonmyeon always just politely smiled and declined to comment on Lay, he actually had a lot he wanted to say.  It was clear in his eyes, and in the way Joonmyeon kept that small, polite smile plastered on his face, the perfect picture of restraint, even when interviewers badgered him for a response.  

It was, undoubtedly, a mask, and it was by far the worst one Yixing had ever had to see on Joonmyeon’s face, and finally, after weeks of watching Joonmyeon endure question after question about him while he maintained that mask, Yixing went to his desk and picked up the copy of Masks he had placed there several weeks prior, sat down on his bed, and opened it up to its final chapter.

Lay

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”– Elizabeth Gilbert

***

As you begin this final chapter, I must admit something to you, I, like every other person in this book, have lived with many masks over the years.  

Filial son.  Hard working college student.   Aspiring author.   Lover.

The list is as endless as anyone else's I suppose, and when I started this project, determined to cast off as many of my own masks as I could, I had no intention of doing that to anyone else against their will.  Every person in this book agreed to let me share their stories.  Every single one, except Lay.

The reason for that is because I lost him before I could even ask.  

I lost him to a world that was simultaneously trying to change too fast and too slow and to the endless masks to which we both held tight, and I expect that will remain my life's biggest regret because I have come to believe that this story is ultimately a tale of what happens when you find your soulmate, but at the wrong time.  

To Lay, if you're reading this, I'm sorry.  Your students’ performance last December was every bit as beautiful as you.  Congratulations on finding a new dream to hold on to.

Lay let out a choked sound as he raised a hand to his mouth, already holding back a sob as he set Masks down and stood up to go find some tissues.  

Something told him he was going to need them, and he did, because as he read through page after page of lovingly written prose, Yixing realized something.

Joonmyeon did indeed have a lot of things he wanted to say, the very first of which was that he had never given up on Yixing.

He’d just decided to wait for Yixing to come back to him instead, and by the time Yixing was snapping Masks closed with a pile of used tissues by his waist, Yixing had gained a new regret, making Joonmyeon wait for far too long.

\---

Despite that, it still took Yixing a couple of days to decide what he wanted to do about it, and a couple more after that for an opportunity to arise for him to actually do it.  As his phone rang after he punched in the call-in number, Yixing waited with a bundle of nerves coiled tightly in his gut that coiled even tighter as a rather bored voice echoed through the receiver.  "Hello, may I ask who's calling please?"

Yixing bit his lip for second before he spoke.  "Lay."  He whispered, deciding that was the better name to give, for now.  

The guy on the other end of the line sighed heavily.  "God. You do realize you’re the sixth guy to tell me that, right?”

Yixing let out a tiny gasp of a surprise.  “I'm not a—”

Yixing could practically see the guy on the other end of the line waving his hand dismissively as he spoke.  “Yeah, yeah, just tell me, what's your real name?  Then we can both move on.”

Yixing blinked, and he pulled his phone away from his face to stare at it for a second before taking a breath and pulling it back to his cheek.  He was going to have to say it eventually anyways.  

“Yixing.  Zhang Yixing.”

“Uh-huh, nice—wait what?”  Half way through his response, the guy’s voice went from dismissive to shocked.

Yixing blinked, and then his eyes widened.  He knew his name, which meant, Yixing realized, that Joonmyeon had wanted him to call. 

Yixing took a breath as he let that realization wash over him before repeating himself.  “Zhang Yixing, and I’d really like—”

“Oh my god you're actually him aren't you?”  The guy asked, cutting Yixing off, and then suddenly, another voice, also male, chimed in.

“Ask the second question.  Ask the second question.”

Yixing blinked again.  There was a second question?  He pressed his phone a bit more firmly to his ear, hoping to not miss a word as the guy started speaking again.

“Yeah, right.  Sorry, but could you answer this for me?  ‘Which way were you facing?’”

Yixing’s brow furrowed.  “Could you be more specific?”  He asked, thoroughly confused.  He had no idea what this second question was about.

The guy on the other end of the line laughed awkwardly.  “Sorry, but I think this question was intentionally vague.  The answer doesn't even—”

“Wait.”  Yixing said sharply as he flushed, an answer suddenly snapping into place.  It was a horribly embarrassing answer, and he kind of wanted to smack Joonmyeon for even thinking to use a question such as this, but Yixing did have to admit, it was something only he would know.  “The mirror.  I was facing the mirror.”  He whispered.

Yixing’s response was greeted with a sharp intake of breath.  “You're right.  You’re really... What does that even mean?”

Yixing laughed awkwardly as he flushed deeper.  “Just… it's something only I would know.”

The guy on the other end of the line laughed, a happy and excited sound.  “Whatever.  I don’t care, but I’m going to have to put you on hold until I can patch you through, the other caller is still on the line.”

Yixing’s eyes flicked to the television screen where he could see Joonmyeon talking while sitting across from a pleasant looking talk show host.  He had the show on mute.  He flicked it off as he responded.  “That’s fine.  Just don't announce who I am when you do.”

“But Joonmyeon—”  

Yixing laughed.  “Don't worry about what Joonmyeon said.  I have a plan, I promise.”

The guy hummed, and then he laughed.  “If you say so.  Good luck.”

Despite himself, Yixing laughed as he was put on hold.  “Thanks,” he murmured as annoying elevator music began to echo in his ears.

He redirected his attention towards the television screen, starting to actually listen to Joonmyeon’s voice.  “—it was never my intention to ‘recruit’ people to anything, unless you mean to the idea that all people should be equal in the eyes of the law.  In that case, I did mean, and do mean, to try to make people believe that.”

Yixing held back a tiny smile, feeling a bit proud as the caller on the line sputtered briefly before hanging up.  Really, he should have known better.  Joonmyeon was far too good at answering questions, even insulting ones, with tact.

The host of the show was already apologizing, and Joonmyeon just smiled wide, shaking his head.  “It’s to be expected.  People have always attacked what they can’t understand.”

The host smiled back at Joonmyeon warmly.  “Was not the publishing of your book meant to help people understand?”

Joonmyeon nodded.  “It was, but I would imagine he hasn’t read it, and if he has,” Joonmyeon shrugged his shoulders, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

The host smiled.  “I suppose your right.  We have another call on the line, also anonymous.   Would you like to take it?”

Joonmyeon nodded, still smiling.  “Patch them through.”  He said, turning his body back towards the camera.

Yixing’s breath hitched as the elevator music echoing from his phone ceased and the host’s voice echoed through his phone and the television screen.

“Hello?  May I ask who’s calling please?”  She asked, voice pleasant.

Yixing took a breath, trying to get enough air into his lungs to respond.  Finally, as the smiles on Joonmyeon’s and the host’s faces just began to twitch, he managed to speak.  “I’d rather not say.”

The host’s brow furrowed, but Yixing wasn’t really paying much attention to her, or her response.  He had eyes only for Joonmyeon, who’d gone stock-still, frozen in place.  Yixing took a breath and asked him the first of many questions fighting to burst forth from his lips.

“Why won’t you answer any questions about Lay?”

It took a second for Joonmyeon to recover, but when he did, his voice was even and smooth.  It gave nothing away, but his eyes did, and they were tinged with unspeakable hope.  “I never had permission to reveal his story, and so my decision not to speak about him is out of both a respect for him, and also, for myself.  The story remains,” Joonmyeon took a breath, and for a second, his voice wavered, shaking slightly, “a deeply personal one.  Tell me, is asking that question the only reason you called?”

Yixing let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.  “No.”  He whispered.

Joonmyeon nodded once, one of his hands clutching into the fabric on his thigh.  “Then what else would you like to ask, Lay?”  He asked, eyes on the camera, ignoring the way the audience and the talkshow host gasped.

Yixing didn’t gasp too.  He didn’t even blink.  He just spoke, tone soft and affectionate.  “You recognize my voice.”

Joonmyeon nodded once firmly, expression and tone unwavering.  “Of course I do.  It is ingrained into my mind as surely as your face, so tell me, what else would you like to know?  You can be as specific as you’d like.  I have nothing left to hide.”

Yixing smiled softly.  He had already known that.  It was part of the reason why he’d called.  As for what he still wanted to know…

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  He whispered, not specifying what he was referring to, curious to see if Joonmyeon remained as perceptive as he’d always been.  

He did.

“Political moves take time, and are never set in stone.  I couldn’t know this would go through until it did.”  Joonmyeon answered, and while his tone was steady, his eyes begged for understanding, and Yixing almost shouted into the phone that he already had it, but he didn’t, holding himself back as he asked another question.

“And was waiting until you knew that important?”

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon said with a firm nod.

“Why?”  Yixing whispered, voice barely audible even to his own ears.

Joonmyeon heard it anyways.  “Because you ran away believing I had masks I'd never take off, and I realized the only way I could ever hope to stand in front of you again was if I took them all off first.”

Yixing raised a hand to his mouth, forcibly pushing back a sob and asked another question.  “And are they?”

Suho nodded again, and this time, his voice was low and certain and filled with the unspeakable hope still in his eyes.  “Yes.”

Yixing sniffed and reached out a hand towards the television screen, fingers trailing over Joonmyeon’s face.  "Then why aren't you standing in front of me?"  He whispered.

Joonmyeon inhaled sharply, and then he spoke quietly as a restrained mask overtook his features.  "Surely, surely you must already know the answer to that."

Yixing sighed into the phone.  

He did know.  

He knew that Joonmyeon would never drag him out into the spotlight any more than he already had.  He knew that Joonmyeon wanted him to make that decision for himself without Joonmyeon there to pressure him into it.  That was who Joonmyeon was, and Yixing loved him for it, even if he had no intention of telling Joonmyeon those three words for a while yet, and because of that, Yixing also knew his answer to Joonmyeon’s unspoken question.  

He’d known it well before he’d called because between living in a world with Joonmyeon looking like he currently did on the television screen, hiding behind an expression so restrained it hurt, and stepping into the spotlight, Yixing chose the spotlight.  He'd always wanted to be a famous dancer, and while this definitely wasn't the way in which he had intended to accomplish that, he supposed it worked.  

Besides, Yixing was done with running.  He was done with being afraid.  He was done with regret.  

It was time to be brave.

“I do."  Yixing whispered into the phone, watching as Joonmyeon’s restrained expression faltered a bit as he flinched.  "I do Joonmyeon, and I think it’s time I finish taking off my masks as well, don't you?”

Joonmyeon's eyes shot wide, and his restrained mask cracked to be replaced by disbelief.  “Lay....”

Yixing laughed softly and pressed his fingers a bit more firmly into the television screen directly over Joonmyeon's heart.  "No, not Lay, Joonmyeon.  Yixing.  Zhang Yixing, and he's waiting for you now, so come home."  Yixing said before hanging up his phone and turning off the television, not quite sure if he'd laugh or cry if he stayed on the line even a second longer because Joonmyeon's face was getting extremely hard to watch, mainly because all of Joonmyeon’s uncertainty, all of it, was unnecessary.  

Yixing had already made his decision, and he wasn't going to back out of it.  Nope, instead he was going to wait for Joonmyeon in his apartment dressed in clothes Yixing had buried in his closet, but never thrown away.

\---

Yixing wasn't sure who was more shocked when Joonmyeon walked through the door to his apartment, Joonmyeon or him.  Yixing had been reclining on the couch, trying to mentally prepare himself for Joonmyeon’s arrival, but when the door’s lock started to ping, he had still jerked upright into a seated position that was unnaturally rigid as his stomach flip-flopped unpleasantly.  

The second his eyes fell upon Joonmyeon’s face, every word he had planned to say vanished from his mind because Joonmyeon... Joonmyeon looked even worse than Yixing had realized, exhaustion evident on his face and in every limb, and as he stared at Yixing in shock, he looked seconds away from passing out in a dead faint.

Grasping at anything, anything he could say just to get Joonmyeon to speak, because then he’d have to breathe, Yixing said something obvious and simple.  “You didn’t change the code.”

Joonmyeon flinched at the sound of Yixing’s voice, and then he nodded hesitantly.  “I didn’t.”  He whispered, still not stepping out of the entryway, although he released the door.

It fell closed with a deafening bang that neither he nor Yixing reacted to, and finally, Yixing spoke again while trying to force what he hoped was a reassuring smile onto his face.  “Are you just going to stare?”  He asked, and then he watched, as despite his exhaustion and clear disbelief, the tiniest of amused twinkles lit in Joonmyeon’s eyes even while he asked a much more serious question as he stepped towards where Yixing sat on the couch.

“Why are you here?”

Yixing stood up, moving over to meet Joonmyeon half-way.  “You wanted me to be here, didn’t you?”  He asked, stopping in front of Joonmyeon while still a couple paces away from him.

Joonmyeon stopped walking as he just stared, eyes scanning Yixing up and down, and when he spoke, his voice was a mix of so many things that Yixing couldn’t even hope to name them all.  “Yixing I… I want you to be happy, whatever that means.”

“And if that means that I am here?”  Yixing asked softly, taking another step towards Joonmyeon with his eyes locked on Joonmyeon’s face.

Joonmyeon blinked in surprise, and didn’t say anything as Yixing took another step forward, making the distance between the two of them but an arm’s length.  Instead, he looked away from Yixing’s face and took a breath, and Yixing waited patiently for Joonmyeon to turn back and voice his response.  

“Then I would also be happy.”  He finally said, eyes back on Yixing’s face, hopeful and yet afraid.

Yixing smiled softly and reached out a hand, making sure to move slowly enough that Joonmyeon could move away if he didn’t want Yixing to touch him, but he didn't move away, allowing Yixing to curl his fingers around his wrist even as he flinched.

“I’d like that.”  Yixing whispered, rubbing his thumb against Joonmyeon’s skin in tiny, soothing circles as he smiled hesitantly.

Joonmyeon trembled as a tiny, surprised sound escaped his lips.  “You would?”  He whispered back.

Yixing nodded.  “I would.”  He said, voice becoming louder, more certain.  “I really, really would.”

Joonmyeon didn’t move, and he didn’t speak.  He just stared, and Yixing sighed before tugging on his wrist gently.  “Follow me.”  He ordered softly, turning to pull Joonmyeon towards his bedroom.

Joonmyeon stumbled on his first step, but he quickly caught himself so that he didn’t crash into Yixing’s back.  Yixing almost wished he had.  It might have pushed Joonmyeon past whatever it was that was keeping him from trying to slip his hand into Yixing’s own, whatever it was that seemed to be keeping him from trying to touch Yixing at all.

As Yixing pulled Joonmyeon to a stop in front of the bathroom sink and turned to face him again, he dropped his wrist from his grasp.  Sure enough, Joonmyeon did not try to reach out towards Yixing.  He just let his arm fall somewhat lifelessly back to his side.

Yixing sighed and moved forward, reaching up to place a hand on Joonmyeon’s shoulder.  “Turn around,” he whispered, exerting the lightest amount of pressure.

Joonmyeon’s eyes widened, looking a bit confused before he nodded once and turned slowly, presenting Yixing with his back.  Yixing took a breath, a deep breath, as he just stared at it for a couple seconds.  Then he let his hand on Joonmyeon’s shoulder slide down while his other lifted up, wrapping his arms around Joonmyeon’s waist and pulling him towards his chest even as Joonmyeon stiffened.

“I’m sorry.”  Yixing murmured softly, turning his head and kissing along the side of Joonmyeon’s neck before he let his hands move down, popping the buttons on Joonmyeon’s jacket as Joonmyeon stiffened a bit more while shaking his head.

“You don’t have to—”  Joonmyeon’s voice choked off as Yixing pressed his hands against his chest, which felt a bit too slight beneath Yixing’s fingertips, making Yixing wonder if he remembered it wrong.

Yixing shook the thought away as he turned his head and kissed the side of Joonmyeon’s neck again.  It didn’t make a difference if he did.  It was still Joonmyeon, and that was all that mattered.  Slowly, Yixing moved his hands to pull off Joonmyeon’s jacket and drop it to the floor while refuting Joonmyeon’s words.  

“No, I do.  I should have come back long before this.”  He whispered, reconnecting himself with Joonmyeon’s back before letting his hands drop to the belt on his pants.

Joonmyeon shuddered as Yixing popped the closure, and rather than pulling the belt off, moved on to the zipper of his pants, popping the button before slowly guiding the zipper down, the sound deafening.  Quickly, Yixing released Joonmyeon’s zipper and moved his hands back to the waistband of his pants.  

“Why didn’t you?”  Joonmyeon managed as Yixing slipped his hands around Joonmyeon's waist and pushed down, lowering himself to the floor as he glided the fabric of Joonmyeon’s pants over his legs, which yet again, seemed smaller than Yixing remembered, making Yixing worry that when he got all, well almost all, of Joonmyeon’s clothes off, he might not like what he saw.  

He let the fabric of Joonmyeon’s pants pool at his ankles, releasing his grip so that he could help guide Joonmyeon’s feet out one at a time while removing his black socks, and on a sudden impulse, kissed his instep, which made Joonmyeon gasp softly.  It was only after Yixing had set both of Joonmyeon’s feet firmly back on the ground and stood up again, hands slipping underneath Joonmyeon’s arms to remove the tie at his neck, that he whispered out a response.

“Because I was afraid, but… I’m not anymore.”  Yixing admitted as he loosened Joonmyeon’s tie, letting it rest against Joonmyeon’s chest once the two sides were separated and dropping his hands down to work on his final clothing related project, the buttons on Joonmyeon’s shirt.  They would have been a whole lot easier to undo if Yixing’s fingers hadn’t started trembling right along with Joonmyeon.

Finally, finally, the last button was undone, and Yixing stepped away from Joonmyeon with his shirt clenched firmly in his grasp.  He dropped it to the floor before extending out a hand from where he stood to press against Joonmyeon’s shoulder again.  “Turn back around.”  He ordered softly.

Joonmyeon turned around slowly, and when he looked up to meet Yixing’s eyes, there was the slightest bit of his usual bravado there, along with way too much affection.  “You’re going to kill me.”  He whispered, and if Joonmyeon hadn’t already looked somewhat like death, Yixing might have laughed, but unfortunately, he did.  

Yixing hadn’t been imagining it.  Joonmyeon was smaller.  His hip bones were a bit too sharply defined, and his wrists were bony, and his torso, still covered by an undershirt, looked far too slight.

“Not if you kill yourself first.”  Yixing murmured, a hand reaching out to cup Joonmyeon’s face.

Joonmyeon leaned into Yixing’s touch instantly.  “I don’t eat well when I’m stressed,” He admitted.  

Yixing’s hand squeezed around his cheek.  “Or sleep.”  He added.

Joonmyeon bobbed his head into Yixing’s palm.  “That too.”

Yixing sighed as he squeezed his hand around Joonmyeon’s face again before releasing it and reaching out to grab the make-up wipes from the counter, pulling one out as Joonmyeon’s eyes fluttered closed.  

“I know.  I can tell, and you don’t… you don’t have to pretend for me.”  Yixing murmured as he pressed the cloth to Joonmyeon’s face, delicately wiping off the make-up that helped hold Joonmyeon together in front of the rest of the world, because even if he had told Yixing all his masks were off, Yixing was now all but certain that the smoothly talking politician still wasn’t quite him.  

No, that was the face Joonmyeon would present to the entire world.  A face he needed, and that Yixing was willing to let him have, but that was in no way the face Yixing desired to see while standing there in Joonmyeon’s bedroom wiping off his make-up.  In there, the only face Yixing wanted to see was the one underneath, dark circles, worry lines, and all.  

Joonmyeon’s eyes fluttered back open as Yixing pulled his hand away while smiling softly.  “And there you are.”  He whispered, eyes on Joonmyeon’s face.

A small, derisive smile played on Joomyeon's lips.  “It’s ugly.  Isn’t it?”  He said, voice barely above a whisper.

Yixing’s eyes widened before he shook his head.  “No.  It’s perfect.”  He whispered, hand reaching out to trail over Joonmyeon’s features, tracing over his brow and down his nose before coming to rest on his lips.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”  Joonmyeon breathed out on a shaky, breathless laugh, lips brushing against Yixing’s fingertips.

Yixing pressed his fingers against Joonmyeon’s lips a bit harder before he laughed and took a step forward.  “I’m too old to think it would.”  He responded, letting his hand slide from Joonmyeon’s lips to the side of his neck.

“Surely though, this face is not worthy of a compliment.”  Joonmyeon responded, tilting his head to the side, small, derisive smile still in place.

Yixing shook his head as he pulled Joonmyeon forward, bringing their feet so close together that their toes were brushing against one another before locking his eyes on Joonmyeon’s face. “It’s worthy of whatever I choose to give it.  It’s the face of a man far braver than I.”

Joonmyeon sighed, and for the first time since he’d stepped into his apartment and found Yixing there, he reached up a hand and touched Yixing’s face, fingers trailing over Yixing’s features in much the same way Yixing had just done to his.  “Yixing…”  He began, fingers coming to rest against his lips, “It’s still not perfect.  I know I said that all the masks were off but in reality... In reality there are still a lot of masks we’ll have to wear if you decide to stay here with me.”

Yixing kissed Joonmyeon’s fingertips where they rested against his lips.  “I’m prepared for that.”

“Are you?”  Joonmyeon asked, fingers still against Yixing’s mouth.

Yixing kissed his fingers again with a tiny nod.  “I wouldn’t have called if I wasn’t.”  He said simply, letting his eyes connect firmly with Joonmyeon’s own as he squeezed his neck in a suggestion that he hoped Joonmyeon would take.

Joonmyeon did, hand lowering down from Yixing’s lips as he leaned forward instead.  “Can I?”  He murmured, lips hovering just in front of Yixing’s own, breath brushing against them.

“You don’t have to ask.”  Yixing responded simply, and before Joonmyeon could say he did, before he could so much as attempt to disagree, Yixing closed the remaining gap between them, sealing Joonmyeon’s lips with his.  

It was a kiss that was vastly different from their previous ones.  Those had been intense and heated and hard.  This kiss though, was sweet, and delicate, and soft.  It had no tongue, and no force.  All it had was unspoken promises, gently changing angles, and shared breaths, and when Yixing pulled back, Joonmyeon’s hand was trailing up and down his neck, making him shiver as Joonmyeon smiled at him affectionately.

Yixing smiled back before leaning in again.  He could do with several more kisses just like that.

It was perhaps after the third or fourth, Yixing wasn’t really counting, that Yixing pulled back a bit farther and allowed his hand to drop from where it had been shifting around Joonmyeon’s neck, and occasionally slipping into his hair, to pull against his arm.  “C’mon, you need to sleep.”  He murmured, and Joonmyeon nodded once even as he laughed and let Yixing guide him towards his bed.

“You take off almost all my clothes, for this?”  He teased as Yixing pulled back the covers on the bed before pushing Joonmyeon down.

“It’s what you need.”  Yixing responded simply as he climbed onto the bed after Joonmyeon, hands reaching out to pull Joonmyeon on top of him, arranging him against his chest.

Joonmyeon laughed softly and one of his hands reached up to clutch around Yixing’s shoulder as he turned to kiss Yixing’s chest.  “No, I need a lot more of you.”  He murmured before kissing Yixing’s chest once more.

Yixing reached up his hands to the sides of Joonmyeon’s head, holding it in place as he leaned forward to kiss his hair.  “You’ve got me, so sleep.  I’ll still be here when you wake up.”  He said, gently guiding Joonmyeon’s head to the side once he was done so that it could rest against his chest while Yixing carded his fingers through Joonmyeon’s hair and wrapped his other arm around Joonmyeon’s waist.

“You promise?”  Joonmyeon mumbled, and Yixing smiled softly as he realized that despite his words, Joonmyeon was already almost asleep, body completely relaxed against him.  

“I promise.”  Yixing whispered softly, leaning down to kiss the top of Joonmyeon’s head again.

Joonmyeon sighed, a soft contented sound, and nuzzled the side of his face into Yixing’s chest, “Thank you,” he mumbled, words now barely comprehensible, “Thank you.  For coming back.”

Yixing’s hand around Joonmyeon squeezed him a bit tighter as he shook his head.  “No, thank you for being willing to wait.”

Joonmyeon said nothing back.  He was already asleep, his one hand still clutched tight around Yixing’s shoulder.

Yixing reached up to loosen his grip, slipping his fingers between Joonmyeon’s own and squeezing his hand before he closed his own eyes and also fell asleep.

When they woke up several hours later, the first thing Yixing asked Joonmyeon was, “What would you like to eat?”

Joonmyeon’s not so helpful response?  

“You.”

Still, Yixing may have just let Joonmyeon eat him anyways.

\---

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”– Sam Keen


	9. Because Sometimes You Need a Sexy Epilogue

The second Joonmyeon answered his phone, the first words that came out of Yixing’s mouth were quite simple, “Did you eat?”

Joonmyeon laughed in response.  “You know, why is it that I can’t get a ‘hi’ or ‘how are you’ or some other normal response when you call?”

“Because, that’s not what I care about.”  Yixing responded.  “Now, give the phone to Sehun.”  He ordered.

“Really,” Joonmyeon complained, “it’s not like I’m two years old.  You don’t have to check on—“

“Give the phone to Sehun.”  Yixing repeated, yet again referring to one of two of Joonmyeon’s personal assistants.  The very same two Yixing had unwittingly spoken to nearly a year ago when he had called into the talk show to speak to Joonmyeon.  (They’d been fielding all the calls since Joonmyeon didn’t want Yixing’s name to be spread.)

Joonmyeon continued to grumble, but his voice became softer as the phone was passed to Sehun, whose voice echoed through the speaker and into Yixing’s ear.  “Hello, Yixing?”  Sehun asked.

“What’s up?” Jongdae chimed in and Yixing breathed out a sigh of relief before he even spoke.  If Sehun and Jongdae were there, his boyfriend would at least definitely end up eating something.

“How’s he doing?” He asked.  Between Joonmyeon and them, they’d offer up the more accurate report.  Joonmyeon didn’t like to worry Yixing when he was on the road, and he’d already been gone for two weeks with one more left to go.  Sometimes, dating a busy politician and civil rights activist had its downsides, not that it didn’t have some serious upside too.  It was Joonmyeon after all.

Sehun and Jongdae both laughed into the phone.  “He’s doing great.  He even ate all his rice.”  Sehun responded.

“While we bribed him with pictures of you.”  Jongdae added with a laugh.

Yixing laughed back.  “Normal ones I hope.”

“Normal enough.”  Jongdae said, teasing lightly before continuing on, “You want to talk to him again?”

“Of course.” Yixing said with laugh before Joonmyeon’s voice was echoing in his ear once more.

“Satisfied?”  He asked, sounding somewhere between amused and annoyed.

Yixing laughed again, hoping to push him towards the former.  “Yes.  I have to make sure you’re eating or else your mom will castrate me, and then we’d both be sad.” 

Joonmyeon laughed into the phone.  “She’s not that bad.”

“You weren’t there when she stared me down and informed me that if ever let you get skinny then I had failed in my duty as your boyfriend.”  Yixing responded cheerfully, happy that Joonmyeon’s mood was thoroughly brightened.

“She said that?”  He asked, clearly amused.

“Uh-huh.”  Yixing said, “Right after informing me that I had to learn how to make kimchi and before mentioning that I had to learn all the other banchan too.”

Joonmyeon chuckled softly.  “You don’t have to.”

Yixing shrugged his shoulders, letting his tone of voice carry the movement through the phone.  “I don’t mind learning.  Besides, the closer I get to your mother, the more compromising baby pictures I can get.”

Joonmyeon groaned softly.  “What did you see?”

“It looked like you murdered a smurf.”  Yixing teased with a giggle, recalling the picture of Joonmyeon at two years old in front of the remnants of his tiny blue birthday cake.

Joonmyeon groaned again.  “She and I are going to have to have a talk.” 

“Oh c’mon.  It was cute, and don’t act like you didn’t try to get in every single one of my baby albums when we were at my parent’s place.” 

They’d been there two months ago.  It’d gone surprisingly well.  Admittedly, Yixing’s father was still adjusting to the fact that his son was in love with a man, but he was taking the news far better than Yixing had expected.  He’d even hugged Joonmyeon goodbye at the end of their visit, a very good sign as far as Yixing was concerned.

“Key word: tried.  I didn’t actually succeed.”  Joonmyeon said, laughing back into the phone.

Yixing shrugged his shoulders again.  “Not my fault.”

“How is it not your fault?  You hid them.”  Joonmyeon accused.

“Do you have any evidence of that Mr. Prosecutor?” 

Yixing could practically see how Joonmyeon’s eyes must have narrowed.  “No.”

“Then I am innocent.”  Yixing stated firmly.

“In the eyes of the law.  In my eyes, you remain very, very guilty.”  Joonmyeon affirmed.

Yixing smiled as he let a suggestive lilt slip into his tone.  “So what are you going to do?  Punish me?”

Joonmyeon laughed darkly.  “Yes.”  He responded, and small tremor snaked up Yixing’s spine as his stomach twisted in anticipation.

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”  He said, letting his own tone drop into something even lower and more suggestive.

Joonmyeon laughed in response, sounding a bit defeated.  “Why the hell did I let myself get talked into three weeks of traveling away from you?”  He murmured.

“Because I have a dance recital to plan and you have a world to change.”  Yixing responded, “And,” he added, eyes flicking towards the clock, “I also have a dinner date so I’m going to have to let you go.”

“Dinner date with who?”  Joonmyeon asked, feigning jealousy that made Yixing laugh.

“Luhan and Minseok.  Don’t worry.  They’re just people that want to make sure I’m still eating too.”  They’d even explicitly included that in the invite—Come have dinner with us so you don’t starve pining for your boyfriend—a charming offer to be sure.

Joonmyeon laughed affectionately into the phone.  “And are you?’  He murmured.

“I am.”  Yixing confirmed with a sigh, berating the fact that he had to hang up so soon before trying to backtrack and right his tone “I’ll see you in a week.”  He said, making his voice brighter and more cheerful.

Joonmyeon sighed back anyways.  “Yeah…  Love you.”

“Me too.”  Yixing whispered, heart clenching slightly before he hung up the phone while contemplating whether the device was a wonderful invention or a torturous one for allowing Joonmyeon to be so close and yet so far.

Honestly, three weeks was too long.  Yixing was going to have to go with Joonmyeon for at least one if he ever needed to be away from home for three weeks straight again.

\---

It was later that very same evening that Joonmyeon called back, and when he did, his voice was already low and needy.  “Please,” he whispered, and Yixing blinked once in surprise before clutching his fingers around the phone.  Even if he still found this horrendously embarrassing to think about later, he wasn’t going to deny Joonmyeon what he was asking for.  Yixing knew how to do this now, unlike the first time, when he’d hung up the phone in shock.

(Joonmyeon had immediately started texting him, apologizing profusely, until Yixing finally snapped and called him back with a throaty moan.

Now though, Yixing was just glancing around his and Joonmyeon's shared apartment.  “Where do you want me?” He murmured. 

They'd only moved in together a month ago, finally finding a place that met both Suho's required privacy needs and Yixing's desire to at least pay a quarter (because half was a pipe dream) of the rent. 

Of course, it wasn't like that changed much since Yixing had basically lived in Joonmyeon's apartment before then, but there was something different about their new apartment, something that made it theirs, and also... There were a lot of places in it they hadn't had sex yet, unlike Joonmyeon's old apartment, where every surface had been christened with Yixing's come at some point. 

Joonmyeon inhaled sharply, no doubt thinking the same thing, but when he replied, his choice was more standard fair.  “The bed.”  He responded, and Yixing nodded to himself as he moved from the couch where he'd been watching late night TV to their bedroom, putting the phone on speaker as he went. 

"We haven't used this enough, have we?"  He asked, tossing the phone down onto the mattress before climbing on top, making the process excessively noisy so Joonmyeon could hear it and envision what he wanted: Yixing, on their new bed, laying against the pastel purple sheets they had picked out together because Joonmyeon liked staid colors, and Yixing liked purple, and those two “likes” had combined to form that.

“Have you taken off your suit?”  Yixing continued when Joonmyeon's only response to the sounds of Yixing's crawl was a sharp intake of breath. 

Another sharp intake of breath greeted Yixing's ears, then Joonmyeon spoke, voice far below its usual timbre.  “No.” 

Yixing shivered slightly and let one of his hands drop down, lightly palming himself in his sweats.  “Then let’s start with that.  Don’t you want to take that off?”  He murmured suggestively, closing his eyes as he thought over the contours of Joonmyeon's chest, which was back to its normal healthy size that Yixing absolutely loved. It fit against him in all the right ways.

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon somewhat stuttered back, and Yixing smiled as he removed his hand from his groin and sat up to pull off his own shirt. 

“Then let’s start with that."  He said as he began to work the fabric up.  "Start with the buttons on your coat, but don’t go too fast.  You know I’d pop them one at a time, and then trail my arms up against your chest.  I’d let my hands press against your nipples, rubbing softly, and the fabric of your shirt would scratch and drag, and—"

Joonmyeon gasped. 

Yixing smiled.

“Then I’d take it off.”  He concluded, letting his voice drop in pitch as he heard Joonmyeon pull off his jacket and drop it to the floor while letting out a frustrated whine. 

“Yixing, faster.”  He pleaded.

Yixing smirked and let out a tiny, teasing laugh.  “But why go fast Joon?  I haven’t seen you in two weeks.  I'm going to go as slow as I can.”

Joonmyeon groaned in response, and Yixing laughed a bit more.  Joonmyeon could, and often did, drive Yixing mad.  He'd been able to do it from the very beginning like a pro, working Yixing up and then keeping him there until he finally let it end. 

It'd taken a little while for Yixing to get just as good at doing it back while actually trying (because he could get Joonmyeon pretty worked up without even thinking about it honestly) but now that he could, it was among Yixing's favorite pastimes, working Joonmyeon up and then tearing him back down, and tonight Yixing intended to do just that, continuing to talk with a voice that was low and slow.

“Run your hands down your sides, and squeeze them around your waist.  You like that, don’t you, when I hold onto you tight?”  He murmured listening as Joonmyeon let out tiny, breathless gasp before he heard his hands moving to the belt at his waist, struggling to get it undone in his haste.

Yixing let his voice shift, light and chastising. “Ah, I didn’t say you could touch that yet.”

For a moment, Joonmyeon's hands stilled, and then he just whined.  “Yixing.”

Yixing laughed again, amused.  Joonmyeon was really impatient today.  “Alright, alright, but go slow.  You know I would never want to hurt your cock.  It’s got a very important job to do.  It needs to fill—“

“Yixing.”  Joonmyeon spoke out on a shaky breath as Yixing heard the distinct sound of him taking off his pants, and also probably his underwear.  Yixing was very certain Joonmyeon already lacked the patience to ask permission for that.

“What?”  Yixing murmured as he heard the hotel bed creak as Joonmyeon crawled on top of it.

“Please."  Joonmyeon whispered, and his voice was so clear Yixing knew he'd picked back up his phone and had it cradled to his ear.  "Please, I don’t want that, I want—"

Yixing blinked and inhaled sharply, cutting Joonmyeon off.  He knew what Joonmyeon was asking for.  He’d been asking for it for a while now, and Yixing had turned him down every time, whether the moment had been in person or on the phone. 

Sometimes, it'd be right away, and Joonmyeon would look or sound mildly disappointed before moving on.  Other times, he'd been noncommittal and then made sure to flip the positions halfway through when Joonmyeon was a little too lost to care and stopped paying as much attention to the actual words Yixing was whispering into his ear or what he was doing to his form. 

This time however, as Joonmyeon let out another gasp while repeating his request, clearly having decided to play by himself while Yixing hesitated, Yixing bit his lip.

He’d talked to Luhan and Minseok that very night about just this. 

He knew they went back and forth often enough and so he'd hoped they would be able to fill in the blanks for Yixing in regards to why Joonmyeon kept asking for something Yixing had rarely, see almost never, been asked to give. 

The conversation had been… interesting.

\---

“You mean you haven’t yet?”  Luhan asked, sounding surprised after Yixing finished explaining the situation to the pair of them.

Yixing blinked, then shook his head.  “No.  That’s why I’m asking--”

“Why haven’t you?”  Minseok asked, cutting Yixing off.

“What?”  Yixing asked, a bit confused and definitely caught off-guard by the expressions on Minseok’s and Luhan’s faces that were now shifting into something less shocked and more… disappointed?  Yixing wasn’t really sure.

Luhan sighed and rephrased Minseok’s question.  “Yixing, what Minseok is trying to ask is, if he’s offering, why are you saying no?”

Yixing blinked.  “I don’t… why does that matter?”  That wasn’t the part that Yixing cared about.  He wanted to know why Joonmyeon was asking, not examine why every time he asked, Yixing’s stomach knotted up and his chest felt tight and he knew he couldn’t do it even if he wanted to.

Luhan sighed again while Minseok grimaced.  “It matters because you’re either being extraordinarily insecure or extraordinarily mean.  Given that it’s you, I am at least inclined to believe the former.”  He murmured as he reached out a hand to Minseok’s thigh.

“I’m being mean?”  Yixing asked, head tilting to the side. 

He wasn’t going to comment on him being insecure.  He knew he was.  He had gotten more confident in many things, but this one was definitely among those that still eluded him.  Something about it just… it was scary, alright? 

Yixing could count on one hand the number of guys he’d topped.  Two had said they didn’t much like it after, which yes, Yixing realized was probably mostly a preference thing but still, what if he fucked it up?  What if it all went horribly?   What if a whole shit ton of things that made maintaining the status quo preferable, except for the part where Luhan and Minseok were studying Yixing’s face while letting out heavy sighs.

“Yes, you could be.”  Minseok murmured.  “You do realize you’ve basically been implying that you don’t want to have sex with him, that you don’t want him the way he wants you, right?”  Minseok’s voice dropped as he spoke, and Yixing got the distinct impression this was more from experience than hypothetical, a thought further enforced by the squeezing of Luhan’s hand around Minseok’s thigh.

Still, Yixing was quickly shaking his head in protest.  “But I have sex with him all the time.”

“Yeah,” Luhan acknowledged with a dismissive nod, “but this is different, and you know it.”  He continued, leveling his eyes on Yixing’s own as a blush tinged Minseok’s cheeks.

Yixing flinched and looked away from Luhan’s gaze, starting to fiddle with the hem on his shirt.  “Yeah… but why?”  He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Luhan took a breath in through his nose and breathed it out hard.  “Because, this is him giving himself to you, being willing to trust you completely, and that’s a very scary thing when you’re not used to being on that side, but you know what Yixing, it’s also worth it.”  Luhan said, moving his head to catch Yixing’s eyes again with a smile as Minseok started to nod in agreement, face still a bit red.

“What?”

Luhan smiled a bit wider and reached out a hand to squeeze Yixing’s arm.  “You love him, right?”

Yixing nodded.  “Yes.”  He’d known that for a very long time now.

Luhan squeezed Yixing’s arm a bit harder.  “Then trust me and do it.  Only then are you going to understand.”

“Luhan.” Yixing whined.  That wasn’t an answer.  It was hardly anything helpful at all. 

Luhan shook his head as he smiled and released his arm.  “Really, I can’t explain it.   You have to experience it to understand, right?”  He asked, glancing over at Minseok, who blushed again while nodding his head in agreement once more.

\---

That conversation had been playing on repeat in Yixing’s mind for most of the evening since, especially the part about Yixing being mean and somehow implying that he didn’t want Joonmyeon as much as Joonmyeon wanted him because nothing, nothing was farther from the truth, which was why, when Joonmyeon’s sounds stopped and Yixing could hear him catching his breath to say something, most presumably that Yixing could say ‘no’, Yixing spoke first.

“Do you have lube?”  He asked, because if they were going to do this, Joonmyeon would need that.

Joonmyeon let out a gasp before he recovered and answered with bated breath.  “I have lotion.”

Yixing nodded once, thinking of the tiny bottles hotels provided.  It’d be enough.  “Get it,” he ordered, trying to sound more confident than he felt, wanting to both set Joonmyeon at ease and convince himself he could do this, “Get that tiny, little bottle from the counter, because you know, if I’m going to do this, it’s going to be gentle and slow.  I’m not going to hurt you.  I’m going to love you right.”

The line was dead silent for a second, and Yixing wondered if Joonmyeon had hung up, stomach dropping somewhere near his ankles before he heard a sharp intake of breath.  “I love you.”  Joonmyeon said, and the words were so sincere that it took Yixing a second to recover enough to even smile.

“I know.”  he finally whispered softly, confidence rebounding, perhaps even doubling, in an instant, because yeah, Joonmyeon loved him, and Yixing loved him back, and Yixing could do this. 

No, correction, Yixing wanted to do this.  He wanted to hear Joonmyeon come screaming his name because of him, and to do that, all Yixing needed to do was be himself.  All he needed to do was make love to Joonmyeon the way Joonmyeon always made love to him, and Yixing knew how to do that.  He really and truly did. 

“Did you get it?” He asked, after a couple more seconds, having heard no sounds to indicate Joonmyeon had gotten up from the bed.

“I have it.”  Joonmyeon said with a grunt, and Yixing laughed, a dark, but teasing sound because clearly, it’d already been on the bed.  Clearly, this had been what Joonmyeon had wanted to happen all along, and just like Joonmyeon had teased Yixing for being needy and impatient for putting lube underneath the couch cushions, Yixing was going to tease him too, voice dropping down to something low and suggestive.

“Ah babe, was it already there?  Were you already wishing for me to try to slip my cock inside of you?”

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon gasped out, and Yixing could practically see the way he knew Joonmyeon’s face had flushed, embarrassed and yet too needy to care.  It was the same way Joonmyeon made him feel all the time, and Yixing considered dragging it out for a bit longer, but decided against it.  It was Joonmyeon’s first time, with him.  He shouldn’t be mean.

“Let’s take off the rest of you clothes, but leave your tie nearby.”  Yixing said, mind running through scenarios in which that particular article might be useful later.

“Why?”  Joonmyeon asked even as Yixing heard him begin to move, undoubtedly following Yixing’s directions to the “T” because he trusted Yixing completely, and that was scary, but also kind of amazing because Yixing trusted him that much too, and oh… Yixing was slowly starting to understand why Luhan said this was something he had to do to understand.

“I may need it later.”  Yixing mumbled as he shimmied out of his own pants and briefs, cock springing free to stand proudly in the air, making Yixing hiss.  The room was cold, and his cock was too hot, way too hot.  They’d barely done anything yet.

“Are you hard?”  Joonmyeon asked suddenly, voice echoing through the speakers, and Yixing wanted to laugh.  In fact, he almost did, but he realized that would be the entirely wrong reaction to have, and so he swallowed the laugh and looked for something else to say, something sultry.

What he came up with, Yixing realized, was probably something he was going to regret saying later because even thinking the words made him flush, but he quickly bundled up his sense of propriety and threw it out the window. 

He was having sex.  Over a phone.  He could be embarrassed about it later.  For now though, he needed to focus on Joonmyeon and just have it.

“Yes Joon,” Yixing whispered, hand reaching out so he could lightly trail his fingers over his tip, watching as his cock quivered beneath his hand, “I’m hard for you.  So hard, I’m going to have to prep you first.  Only then can my cock fill you up, stuffing you full.”

“Yixing.”  Joonmyeon moaned back and Yixing smiled, clutching himself in his fist for a second before he began to look around the room.  He’d probably benefit from some lube too, for sliding purposes.

As Yixing silently searched, and rediscovered the bottle he had stored underneath the pillows, he began to whisper out new commands into Joonmyeon’s ear.  “Open the bottle Joon.  Open it and squeeze it on my hand.  We’re going to need a lot.  You know how long my fingers are.  How they can wrap around your cock.”

Joonmyeon let out a groan, and Yixing smiled to himself as he uncapped his own bottle of lube and squeezed some onto his palm, reaching down to stroke himself just enough to get it on there before retracting his hand because they had a long way to go before Yixing could even begin to pretend he was inside Joonmyeon.  A long way.

“Are they covered?”  Joonmyeon murmured as he heard Joonmyeon start to take a shaky breath.

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon whispered, sounding breathless with anticipation.

“Good,” Yixing responded firmly, smiling a bit wider, “then reach one down, just one, don’t get greedy.  I know you haven’t done this in a while, and so, I am going to take this nice and slow.  I’m going to spread your legs wide while kissing your kneecaps and then I’m going to bend down.  I’m going to massage against your rim first, and then, only when it’s starts to flutter against my fingertips, am I going to push the first one in.”

As Yixing finished speaking Joonmyeon began to pant, and after a couple seconds, he let out a whine, long and loud.  “Push it in Joon,” Yixing murmured, “Push it in.”

Joonmyeon groaned, and then everything was silent as he panted into the phone.  Yixing gave him a second before he spoke, voice soothing and soft.

“Is it in baby?”

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon gasped out, and Yixing winced a bit at the sound of his voice, a mix of breathless discomfort and pleasure whose ratio was leaning far too close to the former.

“Are your walls fluttering around me, squeezing me tight?”  Yixing murmured, quickly trying to figure out what would be the best way to get Joonmyeon past the discomfort and back to seeing stars.

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon gasped again, and that… that sounded a little better, and also… Yixing had an idea.

“Good, now wait, just wait.  You need to relax.”  He whispered softly before waiting for Joonmyeon’s predictable protest, which came on a huff of air.

“I am—“

“No, you’re not.”  Yixing said, cutting Joonmyeon off firmly.  “You’re pent up and you’re tense, so reach down and wrap your hand around your cock.  Stroke it slowly, because that’s what I would do Joon.  I’d lean forward and wrap my lips around your cock.  I’d take you all the way down my throat and hum.”

“Yixing.”  Joonmyeon gasped.

Yixing smirked.  “You like it when I do that, don’t you?”  Yixing said, humming into the phone as Joonmyeon groaned again.

“Yes.”  He said, and his breathless voice sounded much better, much more on the side of pleasure as Yixing voiced his next command.

“Good, now, move your finger down slowly and then press it back in.”

Joonmyeon moaned in response to Yixing’s words, and Yixing waited for a couple seconds before he heard the sound again, followed by a panting sound from Joonmyeon’s lips that made Yixing wish, not for the first time, that he could see Joonmyeon’s face.  He must look completely wrecked by now, and they weren’t even close to done. 

“Feel good?”  Yixing asked softly, reaching a hand down towards his cock again, giving it one long firm stroke.  It really didn’t need encouragement.  It was already leaking from the tip profusely, but the action made Yixing moan into the phone, making Joonmyeon gasp deliciously before he managed a response.

“Yes.”

Yixing nodded to himself as he released his cock, satisfied.  “Good, keep going then.  Pump it in and out, but not too quick.  We’re still stretching you out.  We need to get your ready for more.  You know how big my cock is.”  Yixing murmured, looking down at himself.  It was bigger than usual honestly, and Yixing might have told Joonmyeon that if a suddenly ragged cry hadn’t torn through his phone’s speaker.

“Ah—Yixing I—” Joonmyeon’s voice choked off as he moaned loud and deep and Yixing, panicked, grabbed his phone.

“No!  Joonmyeon.  Stop!  Grab the base of your cock.”  He all but shouted into the phone.

Joonmyeon let out a strangled sounding sob before Yixing could hear his heavily panting breath.  “Yixing,” he whined, and Yixing groaned.  He could practically see Joonmyeon, splayed out on the hotel bed with one of his fingers up his ass and another clenched around the base of his cock, staving off an orgasm so close Yixing would have probably not denied him it if he were there.  He was confident enough he could get Joonmyeon back to an aroused state a second time in person, but over the phone, Yixing was less sure, and besides, this would technically be easier if Joonmyeon was close, if he was right on the edge.

“I’m sorry babe, but not yet, you don’t want to come yet.  You want to come with me inside you right?”  Yixing asked, trying his best to console Joonmyeon through staving off his orgasm, trying to remind him that there was something better to come, figuratively.

“Yeah…” Joonmyeon breathed out after a couple seconds, sounding a bit more in control, and Yixing nodded once even though Joonmyeon couldn’t see it as he decided on his new course of action.  If Joonmyeon was turned on enough to come, then he needed another finger up his ass.

“Okay, then hold onto yourself tight because I’m going to add another finger.  I’m going to add it Joon.”  He whispered and then he waited.  After a couple’s seconds, Joonmyeon grunted softly.

“It’s bigger right?”  Yixing asked softly.

Joonmyeon just made a small, whining sound in response.

“I know,” Yixing whispered, “I know.  Try spinning them, just a little bit, then stretch them wide.  You’ll adjust.”

Joonmyeon grunted, and then he moaned, and Yixing smiled softly.  “Press them deeper Joon,” he murmured. “Find it, because you know I would.” 

In fact, Yixing would have done his damndest to find it with only one finger, not that it seemed like that would have been necessary.

Joonmyeon moaned again, undoubtedly as he shoved his fingers in deeper in his search, and then, after a couple of moments, he gasped.  “There.”

Yixing smiled wide as he closed his eyes, just thinking about Joonmyeon’s face and how it must look, scrunched up in pleasure as his fingers collided with his prostate.  It was a sight he really needed to see in person too.  “Right there, right?”  He asked, eyes still closed as he let one of his own hands wander to his neck, stroking over his pulse point and making himself shiver.  “Right there is where you want me to touch you.”  He whispered, and Joonmyeon gasped, undoubtedly hitting it again, but then he spoke, voice shaky and breathless.

“Yes, but—“ 

“But I can’t, I know.”  Yixing said with soft and gentle laugh.  “Draw your fingers back Joon.  Don’t try to hit it again.  I’m going to stretch you now so that you can have me there, so that I can hit that with my cock and make you come screaming my name.”

“Yixing!”  Joonmyeon gasped, and Yixing smiled, waiting for a while as he heard the squelch of Joonmyeon’s two fingers working himself open a bit fast and hard, but Yixing let him do it.  He imagined he might not be that patient either, not after just hearing that.

After a couple of minutes, Joonmyeon began to whimper Yixing’s name, and Yixing’s hand subconsciously reached out, stroking over the blankets of the bed in a soothing gesture as he spoke.  “I know Joon, I know.  Pump them a few more times and then… add a third.”  It was time.

A groan soon echoed in Yixing’s ears, followed by panting breaths.

“How does it feel?  Big?”  Yixing asked, imaging what Joonmyeon might look like, shifting side to side as he tried to adjust, unable to hold still without Yixing there to help.  Yixing wished he could help.  He wished he could be there.  He wished… they had done this earlier.

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon grunted after a couple seconds.

Yixing closed his eyes to hold back a sigh before whispering a question.  “Does it hurt?”

Joonmyeon didn’t answer.  Yixing released his sigh.

“Joon,” he murmured, “Joon take your hand out for a second.”

“But—“

“Don’t worry.’  Yixing reassured, cutting off Joonmyeon’s half formed protest.  “It’ll be coming back.  I’ll be coming back.  I would never leave you like this, but first, take your hand out and grab your tie.”

Joonmyeon grunted again, and then Yixing heard some rustling of fabric.  “Now what?”  He asked, sounding a both breathless and confused.

Yixing clenched his eyes shut for a second, reminding himself that this was actually a good and reasonable idea, and then he spoke.  “Now, tie it around your cock.”

“What—“

“Trust me.”  Yixing insisted, trying not to think too hard about his words or the image, the image of Joonmyeon with his tie knotted around his cock, “Just trust me Joon.  You know I’d never hurt you.”

Joonmyeon was quiet for several seconds, and then Yixing heard the distinctive sounds of more movements, of fabric dragging against fabric and Yixing moaned softly.  He’d need to remember to do this at least once in person too.

“Is it tied?”  He asked after the sounds ceased and the air was just filled with his and Joonmyeon’s panting breaths again.

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon whispered softly.

“Is it tight?” 

Joonmyeon let out a small grunt before responding.  “Yes.”  He whispered, now sounding a bit more breathless.

“Good,” Yixing said, trying to sound encouraging, “Then reach your hand back down, my hand Joon, and put the three back in again, slowly, you’re not going to be as loose.”  He cautioned as he heard Joonmyeon let out a long groan.

When the sound stopped and he was just panting hard, Yixing added on phase two (or was it phase three?) of his current plan.

“And now, put your fingers in your mouth.  Kiss them like you kiss me.”  Joonmyeon groaned softly, and then Yixing heard it, a lewd sucking sound accompanied by a moan, and he smiled.  Kisses did to Joonmyeon what Yixing’s neck did to him, and that could be mildly complicated, depending on the position they chose, but it also meant the number of times Yixing had come with Joonmyeon’s tongue down his throat was wonderfully high.

Yixing moaned into the phone encouragingly as he reached out his hand to his own cock again, finally feeling like they were getting to a point where he could touch himself with less restraint.  When he laid a particularly hard twist against his tip and he moaned deep and loud, Joonmyeon’s own sounds momentarily ceased.  “Yixing, are you hard?”  He whispered around his fingers.

Yixing chuckled darkly as he glanced down at himself, strung so tight that his cock was almost against his stomach.  “Raging.  I’m so hard Joon.  It’s leaking from the tip.  I wouldn’t even need lube, I’m slicking myself up so well for you.”  Joonmyeon moaned softly, and thinking of the sound of Joonmyeon’s fingers pounding into his hole from before, and how that had made him feel, Yixing curled his hand around his shaft.  “Want to hear it?”  He murmured.

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon gasped. 

Yixing smiled and pushed the phone down towards his waist as he let his hand slide up, making the motion as loud as he could as lube and precome squelched beneath his fingers before jerking his hand back down while slapping his other hand against his skin.  Joonmyeon gasped.

“That’s what it will sound like Joon,” Yixing whispered and Joonmyeon whimpered softly before Yixing continued on, voice low and dark and undeniably filthy.  “That’s what it will sound like when I am thrusting into you barely under control, but first, you’re going to have to find it again.  Find it for me because I want to hear you whine.  I want to see you writhe.  For me.”

Joonmyeon let out a broken sounding sob, and then began to moan and pant for a couple seconds before suddenly transitioning into a rather high pitched keen.  Yixing smiled.  “Found it, didn’t you?”

Joonmyeon didn’t respond.  He just gasped before he started keening again.

“Yup, that’s right.” Yixing said lustily, imagining Joonmyeon with three fingers mashing against his prostate, body aching for release, but prevented from obtaining it by the tie around his cock.  “Stay there.  This time, I’m not stopping Joon.  We’re going to keep hitting that spot.  We’re going to keep hitting it until you can take my cock all the way in to the hilt so that you’ll be able to feel me, balls deep and trembling.”

Joonmyeon sobbed Yixing’s name in response, and his fingers started moving faster again.  Yixing could hear it.  He could hear the way Joonmyeon’s hole was greedily swallowing his three fingers up, and how Joonmyeon was slowly becoming completely undone and wrecked, and when he was basically just all but crying Yixing's name into the phone, interspersing it with desperate sounding sobs, Yixing spoke again.  “Okay Joon, okay.  Take them out and line up a fourth.”

Yixing could practically see Joonmyeon shudder as he took a deep breath, momentarily alieved and trying to collect himself.  “You ready?”  Yixing asked, glancing down at his own proudly straining cock and slowly reaching down his hand, curling it into a ring just around his tip.

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon whimpered softly, clearly having failed to get himself back under control.  Yixing didn’t mind that at all.  In fact, it made him twitch, and he had to speak around a moan trying to force its way out of his own lips as he composed his most important command.

“Thrust them in.  Hard.  I’d sheath myself in one go.  I wouldn’t have any more restraint than that.”  He promised, and then he moved his own hand hard and fast, releasing his moan before he just lay there on the bed, tremors coursing through his body as Joonmyeon’s own cry followed after.

“Oh my god.”  He whined softly after a couple noisy pants.

“Do I feel good?”  Yixing asked with a breathless laugh, body still shaking.

“Amazing.”  Joonmyeon whimpered.

Yixing laughed again, tremors finally beginning to subside as his cock began to ache, begging for more friction.  “But I haven’t even started to move.”

Joonmyeon whimpered again, and Yixing heard him shift against the sheets of the bed, squirming as his body tried to adjust.  “So amazing... Yixing I...” his voice trailed off into soft sob, and Yixing tried to fill in.

“You want to come right?  You need to come?”  He asked, his own body screaming that yes, that was exactly what it needed to do.

To his surprise though, after another pitiful sounding whimper, Joonmyeon said, “No.” even though his voice sounded broken and ragged.

“What then?”  Yixing asked, body starting to shake again, complaining that he’d been still for far too long.

Joonmyeon whimpered again before taking a shaky breath and when he spoke, his voice was just raw and painfully desperate.  “I need you to do this to me, for real.”  He begged, sounding close to shedding real tears, not just aroused ones.

Yixing inhaled sharply.  “Joonmyeon.”

“Please, Yixing, please.”  Joonmyeon continued, begging in earnest.  “Promise me you’ll do this to me.  Please.”

Yixing groaned as a small wave of guilt crashed over him.  He’d already been thinking he needed to have done this sooner, but now… he wished he’d done it long before.  He’d made Joonmyeon wait too long, again.  He was far too good at that. 

“Shh.” He soothed, “It’s alright Joon.  I’ll do it.  When you come home, I’ll do it, but right now, unwrap your tie from around your cock.  It’s time for you to come.”

“Will you be coming too?”  Joonmyeon asked, voice sounding slightly reassured.

Yixing glanced down at his cock, still clenched in his fist.  If he didn’t come, he didn’t know what else he was going to do, cry perhaps.  “Of course.  Right along with you.  Imagining what it will look like when I see your face as I fill your ass with my come.  It’ll be warm Joon.  Can you imagine it?”  He said, starting to move his hand as he heard Joonmyeon begin to do the same.

“Yes.”  Joonmyeon gasped, and Yixing wasn’t sure if it was in response to his hand or Yixing’s words, but Yixing kept talking anyways, saying unimaginable things as his hips thrust up.

“So warm, and wet, and it will fill you up, and you’re going to take it all in.  You’re not going to let out a single drop, because you’re greedy right?  You want my cock to fill you up.  You want my come.”

“I do.”  Joonmyeon sobbed.  “I want it Yixing.  I want to—“Joonmyeon’s voice broke off a he screamed, and Yixing moaned in response, hand reaching a frantic tempo.

“Yes Joon, right there.  Hit it again and come.  Come for me.”

Joonmyeon cried out again, and then he sobbed, a broken, ugly beautiful sound, and Yixing knew he was done.  Just that thought alone had Yixing following after.

Neither of them spoke for a while after that, both panting hard as they slowly came back down, but finally, Joonmyeon’s voice, quiet and perhaps a bit hoarse, echoed through the phone.  “Thank you.”  He whispered.

“Anytime.”  Yixing responded after taking a swallow around a tightly wound knot in his throat, finally getting Luhan’s words completely, finally understanding what it felt like to have someone else give themselves to you, completely and irrevocably, and well, it was almost enough to overwhelm him past words, but then Joonmyeon was whispering again, voice still soft and now decidedly uncertain.

“Yixing will you really--”

Yixing didn’t even let him finish.  “I will.  I promised didn’t I?” 

“I wasn’t sure if that was more a heat of the moment thing.”  Joonmyeon admitted, trying, and failing, to cover up a gasp with a soft laugh the sound of which had Yixing rapidly finding his voice.

“It wasn’t.”  He said firmly.  “I’ve thought about it Joon.  Talked to some people about it too, and… I’m ready.  I’m ready to love you.”  He whispered, and this time, Joonmyeon really did just laugh, a helpless, happy sound.

“You already do.”

Yixing echoed Joonmyeon’s laugh in kind.  “I know, but now, I’m going to prove it to you.  Be prepared.”  He cautioned.

Joonmyeon laughed again.  “I’ve been prepared since the day I offered two years ago.” 

Yixing held off another wave of guilt with a laugh.  It didn’t matter.  He had plenty of time to rectify his mistake.  “Well then, I’m just going to have to make sure that it was well worth the wait.”

“I have no doubt it will be.  Yixing, I love you.”  Joonmyeon whispered, making Yixing’s body tremble for an entirely different reason.  Joonmyeon said he loved him all the time, but Yixing was fairly certain he’d never get sick of hearing it.

“I love you too,” He echoed, “Now, go take a shower, and then call me back, I’ll sing to you until you fall asleep.”

Joonmyeon laughed into phone.  “I’d like that.”  He murmured, undoubtedly holding back a quip about how Yixing worried too much.

“Good.”  Yixing whispered with a smile, relaxing as he closed his eyes to wait.


	10. The Real Epilogue, Part 1

Generally speaking, Joonmyeon is a very fair person.  He plays by the rules.  He doesn’t cut corners and stays within the lines.  Even as he pushes for change, he still maintains that method of operation.  He still plays by society’s rules and conventions, just like he does in every aspect of his life, except for one very large exception, Yixing. 

When it comes to him, Joonmyeon has been breaking rules since day one because, Joonmyeon wasn’t supposed to get personal with his interviewees, and he definitely wasn’t supposed to fall in love with them, but he did. 

He fell fast and hard for a dancer who could charm him with his sincerity and kindness as easily as with his unwarranted insecurities and unspoken dreams, and before he could think twice about it, he was pulling Yixing further into his life, bringing him behind barriers Joonmyeon didn’t even let others see.  It was breathtaking and beautiful, and Joonmyeon loved it, until it all crashed down in a flurry of misunderstandings that Joonmyeon at first thought he could fix, but that he slowly realized were beyond a simple explanation’s repair.

So instead, Joonmyeon worked harder and faster in order to prove to Yixing that what he thought was wrong, that Joonmyeon could change who he was and be who Yixing wanted him to be, but as he worked, he couldn’t help but break the rules again. 

He hired a private investigator to figure out who Yixing was.

It wasn’t hard.

Joonmyeon knew enough about Yixing’s life that the guy had pictures of Yixing, and the bulk of his general personal information, in about a week. 

Joonmyeon turned down most of the pictures, feeling guilty for having Yixing followed, and didn’t ask to hear many things, such as where Yixing lived, because honestly, it was better that he didn’t know, but he did ask how Yixing was doing, and the guy insisted on showing him a picture of Yixing laughing as he taught a class full of young students.

The picture made Joonmyeon stare, and then the P.I. tapped against Yixing’s smiling face in the photograph.  “He looks like this most of the time, at least when he’s there.” 

Joonmyeon nodded once, fingers curling around the edges of the photograph as he picked it up to hold it in front of his face.  Even when Yixing had been with him, he hadn’t smiled that wide.  It was a face of someone far happier than he had been back when Joonmyeon had met him.

Suddenly, Joonmyeon wondered if he had been left behind, if he had been forgotten, but he didn’t ask.  Such a question was definitely taking things too far. 

Instead, he turned to the investigator and asked a different question.  “When do they perform?”

The investigator smiled at him and told him a date still a few months away. 

Joonmyeon nodded once and marked it down on his calendar.  He would be there.  He had to be.

\---

The performance was stunning, and as the crowd rose to their feet, Joonmyeon rose as well, quite possibly clapping the loudest and the longest before he slipped out the back during the midst of Yixing’s beaming bows, heart clenching uncomfortably.

Yixing had changed himself.  He had realized his dream.  It was time Joonmyeon realized his.

He called up his publisher and pushed up the deadlines as far as he could.  He edited through the night, and survived on coffee and willpower unless Sehun or Jongdae appeared to force food down his throat, and even then, he only ate a few bites before his fingers were back on the keyboard, typing away as he sought to convey everything perfectly.

When the editor finally sent him back an all clear, Joonmyeon slumped forward in his seat, too exhausted to be happy, and then everything started moving far too fast. 

The book was published.  Phone calls were made to political allies.  Lines were drawn as some bonds that had been in existence for decades were broken while new alliances were formed, and then, Joonmyeon was sitting at a press conference in front of blinding lights announcing his intentions to the world, and it would be a lie to say he was thinking about Yixing then. 

He was thinking about far too many other things, about how his father had risked his entire political career, just for his son; how his mom had lost contact with her brother, just because of him; how his entire life was now going to be under microscopic analysis; and just, so many other things that Yixing was pressed back and away, but when he came back, he came back with a vengeance that made Joonmyeon’s stomach clench and knot as his heart sank, because Yixing was still not there.

He’d published his book. 

He’d taken off every mask he conceivably could, and yet, Yixing was still not there, and Joonmyeon didn’t know if that meant he should go to him instead or if he should stay away. 

In the end he chose the latter, even though it hurt, even though it might have made him cry a bit into Sehun’s shoulder one evening as he recklessly downed four bottles of Shochu because Joonmyeon couldn’t drag Yixing back to his side. 

He couldn’t drag Yixing back into a life of scrutiny, and security checks, and of being recognized everywhere you go. 

He couldn’t.

But he really, really wanted to.

Then, Yixing called, and Joonmyeon’s world experienced what he hoped would be its final major shift as Yixing stepped back into his life with a newly gained confidence that made Joonmyeon feel simultaneously proud and grateful, because Yixing was going to need that confidence.

He was going to need every last drop because dating Joonmyeon was going to be far from simple.

\---

The first months were indeed a bit hard. 

Joonmyeon could tell when certain things got under Yixing’s skin, like the death threats and the hate mail and the parents who withdrew their kids from his dance classes in disgust even as Hyoyeon and the rest of the staff stood by him firmly.  At those points, Joonmyeon would just hold Yixing to him, and wish he could apologize, but know he could not. 

Yixing wouldn’t let him, not even once, and so, instead, Joonmyeon just clung to him until Yixing stopped crying, until he started smiling again, and then Joonmyeon would let him go, and they’d continue on, and slowly, things got better.

Slowly, the threats teetered off into a reasonable volume and the hate mail became less frequent and instead of parents pulling their kids out, there were parents putting their kids in, because they believed in what Joonmyeon was trying to achieve and saw no reason to not let Yixing teach their kids how to dance.  If anything, they thought it was better because Yixing was quickly being recognized for the talent Joonmyeon had always known he possessed, a byproduct of the increase scrutiny of his life, and while Joonmyeon knew Yixing didn’t necessarily like getting famous by riding off Joonmyeon’s coat tails, he did like getting asked to help prepare choreographies for professional groups. 

Furthermore, he was really good at it, or at least, that was what Joonmyeon was thinking as he slipped into their recently leased apartment in the middle of the night, having just finished watching a rough cut recording of Yixing’s latest work on his phone in the cab over.

Yixing wasn’t on the couch waiting for him, which was hardly a surprise.  Joonmyeon hadn’t told him he was coming, in part because he didn’t know if he could get his flight switched to an earlier one, and in part because he liked surprising Yixing with his arrivals more than he liked stepping into his waiting arms.  It was another little way Yixing made Joonmyeon break the rules, but, Joonmyeon figured liking to surprise his boyfriend wasn’t a bad thing, so long as it was always with good things.

He slipped out of his clothes quickly as he stepped into the bedroom while holding back a laugh, discovering Yixing predictably sprawled out across the bed, head somewhere along the side as he lay across it in the entirely wrong direction with one leg jutting out from under a horribly mussed comforter. 

There was, Joonmyeon thought to himself as he held back another laugh, a reason he had insisted on getting the largest mattress their bedroom could accommodate. 

Yixing could, and did, sleep in one place when Joonmyeon was there, usually wrapped up around him or vice versa, or at the very least with some limb touching him if it was too hot for that, but when Joonmyeon wasn’t there… when Joonmyeon wasn’t there the bed often ended up looking like it had been through some sort of war and the positions Yixing ended up in were often such that Joonmyeon marveled he didn’t just fall off the bed all the time instead of the few instances Yixing admitted to.

Still, Joonmyeon had no intention of jostling Yixing too much. 

He just had one more rule to break, and then he was going to wrap his arms around Yixing and wait for him to wake up in the morning.  Therefore, he carefully climbed onto the bed while grabbing a pillow for his own head, because he rather liked those even if Yixing found them to be optional, and placed it down next to where Yixing lay. 

He then carefully worked the edge of the covers back, revealing Yixing’s left hand, and waited, studying Yixing’s face for a couple seconds to see if he’d wake up. 

He didn’t, and so, Joonmyeon slid the simple, golden band on his right hand off before reaching down and slipping it onto Yixing’s waiting left ring finger. 

It fit perfectly.  Of course it did.  Yixing had picked it and its matching, gleaming cousin, that already resided on Joonmyeon’s own left hand, out himself.

Joonmyeon had discovered the pair of rings a month ago as they prepared for the move, the tiny ring box nestled into one of Yixing’s moving boxes proving far too tempting to ignore when Yixing slipped out of the room to chat with the moving company. 

The second Joonmyeon had laid eyes upon the rings, he had decided that they really should already be on their hands, even if it caused an uproar when the media noticed, but the first time he tried to bring it up, he lost his nerve, and then he discovered he had to go on a business trip for three weeks. 

On a whim, he tossed the box into his suitcase while hoping Yixing wouldn’t realize it was missing from where he had hidden it in the pocket of his winter coat.

Of course, even if he did, it wasn’t like Yixing could comment on it without admitting the rings existed, and Joonmyeon wasn’t sure Yixing was ready to do that yet, which was silly. 

It wasn’t too early, and Joonmyeon was definitely going to say yes.  In fact, his mom was already nagging at him for moving in with Yixing before even having an engagement ring on his finger.  At least now, the scandalous nature of their living arrangements could be slightly reduced.

Of course, that didn’t mean Yixing still wouldn’t have been very distressed by the ring’s disappearance.  They had cost a lot, even if Joonmyeon had, yet again, broken the rules and gone to the jewelry store to pay off the portion of their price that Yixing had put on extended payments. 

Joonmyeon supposed that if Yixing was really upset about that, he could pay Joonmyeon back in the same installments, minus the interest, which was excessive and half the reason Joonmyeon paid the rings off anyways.  They didn’t need to end up costing Yixing twice what they were worth, even if they were beautiful.

Joonmyeon also took the liberty of getting his sized down to fit, and adding a quote across the inside of each in microscopic script that he was sure Yixing would tease him for later.  

He always teased Joonmyeon about his newfound obsession with quotes ever since the publishing of his book had forced him to delve through them endlessly. 

However, he also thought that Yixing would appreciate the words, and as he watched the way the golden band gleamed on Yixing’s finger, even lining his hand up beside Yixing’s own to truly gain the full effect of the promise it entailed, Joonmyeon smiled to himself as his mind repeated the words.

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.

Yeah, those words were perfect, and as Joonmyeon nestled down next to Yixing, arm moving to clutch around his waist, he had one more thought.

And so are you.


	11. The Real Epilogue, Part 2

Yixing has never been the type to wake up quickly.  He’s actually pretty good with mornings once he does, but he can, and often will, take a rather inordinate amount of time getting out of bed in the morning.

Personally, Yixing doesn’t really think it’s entirely his fault, at least not anymore.  

Seriously, who was going to be waking up quickly when they were sleeping on a top of the line mattress between one thousand thread count Egyptian cotton sheets?

Those two things alone made his and Joonmyeon's bed kind of feel like heaven, and when Yixing added Joonmyeon’s warmth on top of them… well, sometimes Yixing marveled at the fact that he got out of bed at all.

It was by far preferable to stay in bed, wrapped up in Egyptian cotton and Joonmyeon’s warmth, which was exactly why Yixing decided to keep his eyes shut as he snuggled into Joonmyeon’s side, refusing to open his eyes and face the day even as his mind began to idly sift through the things he needed to do.

Make breakfast.

Take a shower.

Teach an early afternoon dance aerobics class.

Pick Joonmyeon up from the air—

Yixing stiffened, and then slowly, very slowly, he pulled back from the warm body he had curled up against as he opened his eyes.  Then he just stared.

It was indeed Joonmyeon.  Yixing hadn’t been wrong about that, thankfully.

He also looked tired enough that Yixing was fairly certain he wasn’t hallucinating.  If he were, Joonmyeon would look more rested than he currently did, a lack of sleep evident in the dark circles under his eyes.

It was also that clear lack of sleep that had Yixing settling in beside Joonmyeon after allowing himself to lower his head down against Joonmyeon’s chest, checking his heartbeat for final confirmation that this was actually happening before permitting Joonmyeon to continue to sleep.  He clearly needed to, and Yixing could wait a few hours more before he hugged and kissed him like there was no tomorrow.

He could.

He was an adult.

Not a child.

He could wait.

…………………thirty seconds later…………………

No, he couldn't.

Yixing let out small laugh and pressed his face back into Joonmyeon’s chest, wrapping his arms around his back as he kissed the first thing his lips came into contact with, which was a random spot along Joonmyeon’s bare right pectoral, but Yixing wasn’t really paying attention to where he was kissing.

He just kept doing it, straight through the stiffening of Joonmyeon’s body against his own and the subsequent relaxing of Joonmyeon’s limbs as he realized what was going on, which was followed by Joonmyeon chuckling softly as he leaned down to kiss the top of Yixing’s head while his own arms wrapped around Yixing’s back.

“I’m home,” he murmured, arms squeezing around Yixing as his movements stilled, taking a break just to breathe as he lay against Joonmyeon’s chest, basking in the way he molded against Yixing’s body like a glove, like they were made for each other.

Perhaps they were.  Yixing wasn’t quite sure.  He’d never been the type to believe in soul mates the way Joonmyeon did, but if he were, he’d definitely believe Joonmyeon was his.  That was one of the reasons he’d finally caved after a few months of vacillation and a non-too-gentle push—more like shove—from his mother, and bought engagement rings, or perhaps they were wedding rings.  

Yixing wasn't really sure which to consider them honestly.  It wasn’t like they needed two different bands though, and thinking of them as engagement rings and wedding rings made the price Yixing had spent on them slightly more palatable, since he wouldn’t have to pay it twice.

However, after purchasing them, Yixing still hadn’t had the nerve to ask.

The poor box had been shuffled around and hidden during their move, and eventually landed in his winter coat pocket for safe keeping, a random place to be sure, but also one that Yixing thought was sufficiently out of the way.  He didn’t want Joonmyeon finding the rings before Yixing knew what he was going to say when he presented them, and if there was one thing Yixing wanted to do, it was to present them.

He wanted, for the first time in their relationship, to actually do something before making Joonmyeon wait for it forever.

Of course, in typical fashion, he’d also managed to decide to do that with what Yixing felt was the scariest thing.

Sure, Yixing already was pretty much 100% certain Joonmyeon was willing to give him forever, but things weren’t as simple as that.

They never were.

Putting rings on their hands was sure to cause a media firestorm.  

Gay marriage wasn’t even legal.

“Yet.” Joonmyeon would undoubtedly say as he accepted Yixing's offer.

In fact, Yixing wouldn’t be entirely surprised if Joonmyeon proceeded to add their case onto the one he was already working to present to the courts, since he had decided that was the easier place to win equal rights.  The National Assembly was full of too many “traditionalist assholes” as Joonmyeon called them when he was slightly drunk and truly riled up.

(When he was more sober, he offered far politer, if still equally disdainful, explanations, but Yixing was of the opinion that “traditionalist assholes” summed things up quite nicely.)

Thoughts of that box were racing in Yixing’s head now though as Joonmyeon’s arms slackened their grip so Yixing could drag himself up Joonmyeon’s chest to finally kiss his lips.  Morning breath be damned.  Yixing would just kiss Joonmyeon until any sense of it disappeared, an approach Joonmyeon didn’t seem to be opposed to as he met Yixing’s lips hungrily.

It took mere seconds for Yixing to suck Joonmyeon’s prodding tongue into his mouth, letting it trace over his gums and teeth before Yixing pressed down harder and pushed Joonmyeon back, slipping into his mouth instead.  Yixing wasted no time once there, letting his tongue press against the roof of Joonmyeon’s mouth before lowering it down, laving against Joonmyeon’s own wet muscle as Joonmyeon groaned, low and soft.

Yixing smiled as he pulled back, feeling satisfied, perhaps even a bit smug, because the hardness pressing against his thigh wasn’t all just morning wood.  No, it was also the result of a whole lot of pent up desire, for him, something that Yixing had every intention of exploiting.

Joonmyeon was also smiling beneath him, eyes already slightly glazed as he panted softly.  One of his hands moved, dragging up Yixing's back slowly, bouncing along the ridges of his spine, before squeezing around the base of his neck.  "I missed you."  He whispered softly.

Yixing laughed, letting his thigh grind down gently.  "I can tell."  He murmured as he leaned forward to capture Joonmyeon's lips again.

He missed.  Not because of his own lack of accuracy, but because Joonmyeon was slowly shaking his head, causing Yixing’s lips to collide with a spot along his jaw as Joonmyeon spoke again.  “No, I really missed you.”  He whispered insistently, hand squeezing a bit tighter around the back of Yixing’s neck.

Yixing stiffened slightly and pulled back, studying Joonmyeon’s face for a couple seconds.

It was a mix of many things, affection, desire, joy, and—and this was the one that had Yixing feeling a bit nervous and confused—the tiniest touch of guilt.  He didn’t really know what Joonmyeon felt the need to feel guilty about lying in bed with Yixing at eight o’clock in the morning after returning a few hours earlier than expected from a three week business trip, but Yixing intended to find out.

“What did you do?”  He whispered softly, moving one of his own hands to stroke the side of Joonmyeon’s face, hoping to soothe away the unhappy parts of his expression, well aware of the fact that Joonmyeon often felt guilty about the silliest of things.

In fact, he might even feel guilty for not telling Yixing he was coming home earlier, and, needless to say, Yixing was far from upset about that.  It was a very pleasant surprise, waking up already wrapped up in Joonmyeon’s arms; although, his heart had momentarily stopped when he wasn’t sure it was Joonmyeon who was there.

Joonmyeon didn’t say anything as he studied Yixing’s face, and then, slowly, he moved his hand on the back of Yixing’s neck, dragging it around to the front of Yixing’s body and then dropping it down to catch the hand Yixing had been using to outline Joonmyeon’s features.

He laced their fingers together with practiced ease before drawing Yixing’s hand to his lips, kissing it gently, and it was then, only then, that Yixing finally registered something his mind hadn’t grasped despite what his eyes had been seeing as he stroked Joonmyeon’s face with his hand.

His LEFT hand.

Upon which now sat a familiar golden band that Yixing couldn’t take his eyes off of even as Joonmyeon moved their hands to side and answered Yixing’s question.

“I accepted.”  He whispered softly as he squeezed Yixing’s hand.

Yixing blinked, and then he stared, unable to process the fact that the rings he had thought were tucked away in the closet were now residing on his and Joonmyeon’s hands as if they’d always been there.

Well, at least he now knew why Joonmyeon looked the tiniest bit guilty, not that Yixing was necessarily upset by this in its most basic and fundamental sense.  It accomplished exactly what Yixing wanted, but...

“I didn’t even ask.”  Yixing protested, still trying to process things as he looked back at Joonmyeon’s face.

Joonmyeon offered up a hesitant smile as he squeezed Yixing’s hand.  “You bought them.  That’s close enough.”

“Joonmyeon.”  Yixing groaned softly, glancing back at their hands once more.

“What?  You’re not upset, right?”  Joonmyeon asked quietly, voice tinged with just enough uncertainty that Yixing groaned again before lowering his lips down to kiss their linked hands.

He wasn’t upset about the rings being on.  It was just... putting into words what Yixing actually was upset about was far more difficult.

Therefore, Yixing took his time, kissing along Joonmyeon’s fingers, even sucking around where the ring now resided at the base of one as he composed his response.

Joonmyeon shuddered beneath him, but otherwise remained silent as he waited, like he always did.

Honestly, Joonmyeon was far too good at waiting, especially for Yixing, except that… he hadn’t.  Not this time, and that realization had Yixing feeling a bit breathless and excited because it let him know that he wasn’t the only one that really, really wanted this.  However, it also meant that he’d made Joonmyeon wait too long.

Again.

Finally, Yixing pulled back to try to convey that feeling in words, although he wasn’t sure he’d succeed.  “I’m not upset.  I just… I was trying to do something first.  For once.”

Joonmyeon laughed softly, raising their linked hands to run them down the side of Yixing’s cheek.  “You did do it first.”  He whispered.  “You bought them. I just took care of the second part and put them on, and you can redo that part later, if you’d like.”  He offered, the nervousness dropping from his tone to be replaced by softly simmering affection and relief even as Yixing shook his head somewhat stubbornly.

“You don’t get it.”  He complained, feeling a bit frustrated by Joonmyeon’s inability to fully comprehend Yixing’s frustrations.

Joonmyeon cocked an eyebrow and waited, not saying anything.

Yixing sighed and leaned down, kissing his cheek before pulling back with another sigh.  “I always make you wait for everything.”  He murmured, letting their linked hands come to rest against the bed again.

“No you don’t.”  Joonmyeon responded instantly with a shake of his head.

“Yes I do.”  Yixing argued back, shaking his own head as he squeezed Joonmyeon’s palm.

Joonmyeon sighed, and suddenly, his uncaptured hand moved to stroke the opposite side of Yixing’s face.  “Have I ever complained?”  He murmured softly.

Yixing bit his lip for a second before he answered with an insistent shake of their linked hands.  “You should.”

Joonmyeon smiled as he cupped his free hand around Yixing’s cheek.  “I won’t.”  He whispered.

Yixing sighed.  “I know.  That’s why I’m trying to fix it, before you decide you’re tired of dealing with it and…”  Yixing’s voice trailed off as his eyes widened, surprised by what he was about to say.  He hadn’t even realized this particular thought was floating around in his head.  It hadn’t registered, at least not in the way it was now as Joonmyeon looked up at him, expression a mix of expectant and sad.

“And what?”  He murmured softly, squeezing Yixing’s cheek.

“And leave.”  Yixing responded, voice barely above a whisper as he looked away from Joonmyeon’s face, not wanting to see his expression as the words passed Yixing’s lips.  That would make the confession seem even more real, and Yixing, who had only had this particular thought coalesce into a recognized fear in the last minute, wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

In response though, Joonmyeon’s hand squeezed around Yixing’s turned cheek rather insistently, trying to tug him back.  “Yixing, look at me.”  He commanded softly, pressure never ceasing until Yixing let out a sigh and allowed his head to be turned so he was looking back down at Joonmyeon’s face.

His expression was one of the rare few that Yixing couldn’t exactly read, but his words were easy enough to understand as his hand stayed pressed firmly against Yixing’s cheek, holding him in place.  “Do you honestly think I’d ever do that?”

Yixing blinked, surprised by the amount of sadness that tinged Joonmyeon’s voice before slowly shaking his head.  “No.”  He answered simply.

He didn’t, which was why Yixing didn’t quite understand why the thought existed in his head in the first place, but it did, and Yixing couldn’t change that any more than he could change the fact that Joonmyeon had slipped on their engagement rings first.

Joonmyeon smiled, and his voice sounded far happier and more reassured as he spoke again.  “Good.”  He murmured, grip against Yixing’s cheek slackening slightly before shifting into a caress that trailed down to Yixing’s neck, making Yixing shiver as Joonmyeon’s fingers glided expertly across his skin, knowing just how much force to apply and where.

“But I still make you wait too long, for everything.”  Yixing managed to insist through the tremors as Joonmyeon began to unlink their left hands so that he could reach up to stroke the opposite side of Yixing’s neck as well.

“You don’t.”  Joonmyeon said with a small laugh, “but it would be okay even if you did.  You’re well worth the wait.”  He promised, letting his fingers trail in feather light touches before making Yixing gasp as his thumb pressed a bit harder against his pulse, massaging against it in small, slightly rough circles.

“You really believe that’s true, don’t you?”  Yixing groaned as he lowered himself down on top of Joonmyeon, not trusting his arms to keep him upright while desiring something on his neck other than Joonmyeon’s hands.  (His lips preferably.)

“Don’t you?”  Joonmyeon whispered softly, pulling Yixing towards him so that he could whisper into his ear before turning to attach his lips to a spot just behind it.

Yixing quivered, and didn’t respond as Joonmyeon’s lips worked against his skin, too distracted by the feeling to really formulate a response, but when Joonmyeon pulled away and Yixing’s moistened skin collided with cool air, Yixing shuddered and stuttered out a response as he turned to look at Joonmyeon’s face, their noses almost touching as they lay chest to chest.  “Y-yeah.”

Joonmyeon smiled up at him, and this time, it was still affectionate, and reassured, but it also had some of Yixing’s earlier smugness mixed in.  Just like it was clear that Joonmyeon had been waiting for Yixing, it was painfully obvious from the bulge pressed against Joonmyeon’s hip that Yixing had been “missing” him too.

That alone might have made Yixing’s next question sound rather dumb.  However, Yixing was pretty confident that Joonmyeon would understand exactly what Yixing meant as one of his hands dropped down near the small of Joonmyeon’s back, not quite his touching his ass.  “Do you want to do it now?”  He whispered, letting his hand press firmly against Joonmyeon’s skin.

“Do you?”  Joonmyeon asked, voice shaking slightly as his own body shuddered.

Yixing let his hand drop a bit lower and squeezed, the only barrier between his hand and Joonmyeon’s flesh a thin pair of boxer briefs.  “Yes,” he whispered softly, mind flashing to the way Joonmyeon had sounded over the phone, completely wrecked as he came with four fingers shoved up inside of himself.  Yixing needed to witness that in person, with one major variation, his cock taking the place of those four fingers as he made Joonmyeon scream.

Joonmyeon shuddered again as Yixing’s hand squeezed in, but his voice was impressively steady as he responded despite Yixing’s hand beginning to massage rather roughly against his flesh.  “Then yes, I do.  Please make me yours as much as I have made you mine.”

Yixing flushed, and his hand stilled for a second before squeezing into Joonmyeon fiercely, pushing away nerves and embarrassment with desire.

Yixing wanted Joonmyeon, and Joonmyeon wanted him.  There was nothing else to it, nothing at all.

Except that there was, and as Yixing let his hand dip into the cleft between Joonmyeon’s cheeks, he and Joonmyeon both knew that, but neither of them were going to bother with more words discussing it.  Some things were better left unsaid.

Yixing let his fingers press in firmly, teasing skin he had rarely reached for before as Joonmyeon trembled beneath him.  It only took a few minor adjustments, and a quick roll, and then, Joonmyeon was on top of his chest as Yixing let both of his hands explore in earnest, rubbing against his skin through the thin fabric of his briefs as Joonmyeon groaned and pressed back slightly into Yixing's touch.

Yixing chuckled softly and turned his head to whisper into Joonmyeon's ear.

“Do you have a preference for how we do this?”  He asked, hands stilling against the waistband of Joonmyeon's briefs as his fingers hooked around the edges.

Joonmyeon's brow furrowed as he shimmied against Yixing impatiently.  “No, just do whatever you want."  He answered after couple seconds, pressing his hips encouragingly back into Yixing's palms even as Yixing's grip on the waistband of Joonmyeon's briefs slackened.

Whatever he wanted to do... well, after listening to Joonmyeon over the phone a couple of days ago, Yixing had quickly developed a rather long list of things he wanted to do, “Joonmyeon”, being at the top of it, which, clearly, was going to occur.

How though was still very much up in the air, and deciding that meant sifting through all the other items on Yixing's list, no small task when the list seemed to be growing even as Yixing lay on the bed with Joonmyeon on top of him.

After a couple of seconds passed without Yixing responding to Joonmyeon's offer, Joonmyeon laughed lightly and one of his hands reached up to trace around Yixing's face.  “Too many options?”  He teased playfully.

Yixing swallowed a bit dryly before bobbing his head.  “Far too many.”  He confirmed.

Joonmyeon laughed again and let his fingers brush against Yixing's brow before he hauled himself up the few necessary inches to kiss Yixing's lips lightly before pulling back with a reassuring smile on his face.  "Whatever you don't try this time you can always do later.  It's not like I'm going anywhere."  Joonmyeon murmured softly.

Yixing's lips, which had parted slightly as Joonmyeon pulled away, remained a bit agape as Yixing blinked up at Joonmyeon, surprise slowly transitioning into amusement.  Really, he should have already known Joonmyeon intended to let Yixing do this as many times as he wanted.  He'd asked Yixing to do it often enough that even fulfilling the built up quota would take a while, which meant Yixing had lots of times to try every position his mind could think up.  All he need to do right then was decide which one would be best for the first time, and that was something Yixing was able to decide rather quickly as he began to sit up on the bed.

"You should get on the floor."  Yixing murmured as he pulled Joonmyeon off his waist and towards the edge of the bed before turning to crawl up the mattress in order to grab the lube from under the pillows where he'd left it before.

“Do I get to know what you picked?”  Joonmyeon asked with a small laugh as he followed Yixing's softly spoken command and moved onto the floor.

“You’ll see.”  Yixing responded as he followed after Joonmyeon, shucking off his sweats, the only article of clothing he was wearing, before slipping behind Joonmyeon and leaning back against bed.

"First, let's take these off."  He whispered, fingers hooking back into the waistband of Joonmyeon's briefs and tugging gently.

Joonmyeon obliged the motion, going to his knees to help Yixing work the fabric down his smooth thighs before sitting back against Yixing's waist and leaning forward to rather inelegantly tug them the rest of the way off.

The movement had him unintentionally grinding back against Yixing's cock, making Yixing groan as his head fell forward onto Joonmyeon's shoulder, a small wave of desire coursing through him as he imagined what was to come.  Then, Joonmyeon leaned back against his chest, now completely naked as he sat on Yixing's lap, and ground back with a more purposeful intent, making Yixing moan a bit deeper before adjusting to get Joonmyeon situated between his legs.

“When’d you move that here?"  Joonmyeon asked conversationally with an incline of his head towards the floor length mirror they were currently in front of as Yixing moved his legs, spreading them apart by moving Joonmyeon's feet to the outside of his knees.

“Hmm, was it two weeks ago or one… I don’t remember.”  Yixing answered back, keeping his tone equally casual as he checked things over once, making sure everything was in place before reaching down to grab the lube from where he had dropped it on the floor.

“And why'd you move it?"  Joonmyeon asked back, tone still light even as his eyes followed Yixing's hands in the mirror.

Yixing chuckled softly as he uncapped the lube and squeezed some out onto the fingers of his right hand, rubbing it around expertly with his left while the engagement ring glinted in the sunlight streaming in from the window.  “To watch myself do to me exactly what I’m about to do to you.”  He whispered as he deemed his fingers thoroughly covered and let his left hand drop to stroke up and down Joonmyeon's thigh reassuringly.

Joonmyeon moaned, and shifted slightly against Yixing's chest as his eyes fell closed.  "I'm going to have to see that."  He murmured, body trembling as Yixing's right hand dropped down, trailing in and massaging gently against Joonmyeon's exposed rim, watching it begin to twitch and gape against the press of his fingertips before slipping the pad of just the first one in.

"Like you haven't already."  Yixing whispered back, pausing as Joonmyeon groaned at the intrusion.

Yixing waited, left hand continuing to trail up and down Joonmyeon's thigh until he relaxed and Yixing could press the rest of his finger in, watching it vanish into Joonmyeon's depths in the glass of the mirror before leaning down to kiss Joonmyeon's shoulder.  "Yeah but not like this."  Joonmyeon said, one eye cracking open for a second before it snapped closed again as he moaned softly.  “How the hell do you watch this?”  He whined, face flushed with both desire and embarrassment as Yixing slowly drew his finger down and pressed it back in.

“Practice.”  Yixing murmured softly as he felt Joonmyeon's walls give a bit more easily the second time around.  Even better, Joonmyeon became slightly more relaxed against him, more pliant, even as he turned his head to the side against Yixing's chest while keeping his eyes firmly screwed shut.

Yixing figured he'd let him do that, for now.  There remained plenty of time for Joonmyeon to get used to watching Yixing finger him in the mirror.  They still had two more to go after all, and the first was hardly the most exciting.

It slipped in with barest of sounds and stretched things out just the tiniest amount.  Sure, it held promise of what was to come, but it was hardly the best.  

So, instead of working on getting Joonmyeon to watch what Yixing was doing, Yixing focused on the task at hand, working Joonmyeon open with gentle twists and curls while leaning down to kiss against his shoulders.  He eventually chose a spot well out of sight on one of them and worked the skin beneath his lips, sucking and nibbling against it until the squelch of his single finger inside of Joonmyeon was always punctuated with tiny pants and moans, not groans, and the slide was undeniably supple and smooth.

Then he pulled back, blowing on Joonmyeon's reddened skin as he slipped in the second.

Joonmyeon groaned instantly, body stiffening against Yixing's chest, and Yixing sighed to himself before leaning down to capture Joonmyeon's lips in a sloppy sideways kiss.

Joonmyeon met him eagerly, clearly trying to chase off the twinge of pain at the stretch with the distraction provided by Yixing's lips.

Yixing granted him the relief, kissing Joonmyeon back thoroughly until they were both panting and gasping for breath as Yixing pulled away and nudged the side of Joonmyeon's head with his nose.   "You should look."  He murmured softly.

Joonmyeon shuddered, but didn't turn his head.

Yixing kept talking as he pulled his two fingers down and pressed them back in.  "You should look Joon."  He repeated.  "Look at the way you are swallowing my fingers up so easily."  He continued as he drew his hand down and pumped it in once more before he stilled, letting his fingers rest as Joonmyeon fluttered around them again.

Joonmyeon moaned softly, body shifting side to side in a silent plea that Yixing ignored until, slowly and uncertainly, Joonmyeon opened his eyes.  He kept the side of his face pressed squarely to Yixing's chest however, meaning he had to make a conscious effort to see the mirror, which he did, letting his eyes look over at the mirror without turning his head.  Then, and only then, did Yixing move his hand again, letting his fingers draw almost all the way out before pressing them back in so Joonmyeon could bear witness to the consumption of every inch.

Joonmyeon whined in response, one of his hands reaching down to squeeze painfully into Yixing’s thigh, but his eyes stayed open as he whispered out a breathless command.  "Again."

Yixing nodded once, and complied, pumping his fingers in deeper before scissoring them wide and watching as a Joonmyeon shuddered at the increased stretch before repeating the motion, two fingers now working Joonmyeon open in a pattern similar to the first.

It didn't take as long this time to get Joonmyeon past groans and back to straight up moans.  His eyes also stayed open, although they did occasionally dart away from the glass of the mirror.  Finally though, after a particularly deep and well angled thrust that left him quivering inside and out, Joonmyeon flushed a shade of scarlet Yixing had rarely seen and clamped his eyes shut again as he spoke through gritted teeth.  "You should add another."

Yixing's heart stopped for a second before he nodded against Joonmyeon's shoulder and leaned down.  "You should kiss me again."  He whispered, breath ghosting across Joonmyeon's lips.

Joonmyeon nodded in agreement as he leaned forward, capturing Yixing's mouth with a mind numbing intensity as Yixing pulled his two fingers down and lined up a third.

It slipped along the first two easily enough at the beginning, but as Yixing began to push the three forward, he felt familiar, telltale resistance.  He pushed past it, the movement slow, yet insistent, until his three fingers were inside as far as they could go.  Then he stopped and waited as Joonmyeon writhed slightly beneath him, lips disconnecting from Yixing's with a licentious pop.

“Holy shit.”  He breathed out in a whine, body shifting side to slightly against Yixing's own, thoroughly reminding Yixing of his own, somewhat neglected cock that was pinned between them, hardened and waiting.  Yixing ignored the way it pulsed in response to Joonmyeon's movements and instead focused on Joonmyeon's face, which was twisted into a rather distorted grimace.

“You okay?"  Yixing murmured softly, left hand trailing over Joonmyeon's thigh, across his chest, through his hair, anywhere Yixing could touch to try to soothe away the invasive stretch of his three fingers pressed in deep, since the only other thing he could do, take them out, was the one thing Yixing couldn’t do.  Joonmyeon didn’t want him to.

Joonmyeon leaned into several of Yixing's touches, but it was only as he pressed into a caress lavished upon the side of his face that he breathed out a response.  “I'm fine."  He whispered, voiced a bit ragged and far from convincing.

“Breathe."  Yixing murmured, hand stroking through Joonmyeon's hair again.  "You need to remember to breathe.”

Joonmyeon nodded once before drawing in a noisy, rattling breath through his nose and mouth.  The sound was far from reassuring.  In fact, it made Yixing feel rather nervous and concerned, but after a few more noisy inhales, Joonmyeon's body began to relax against him and his breaths lessened in volume as he pressed his cheek against Yixing's chest while lettting his eyes dart towards the mirror.

“You can move them.”  He whispered quietly, face still flushed, but far less twisted than it had been before.

“You sure?"  Yixing asked quietly, wiggling his fingers the barest minimum before finding Joonmyeon's eyes in the mirror.

Joonmyeon nodded back at him.  “Yeah.”  He whispered, chin tucking down against his chest, clearly bracing himself for impact.

Yixing let out a tiny huff at the sight internally, feeling dissatisfied with just letting Joonmyeon agonize through the next few minutes on willpower alone.  There had to be a better solution than that.

Finally, Yixing thought of one and allowed his hand to drop from Joonmyeon's hair to clasp around his wrist.  “You should touch yourself.” He murmured, slowly guiding Joonmyeon's hand forward towards his slightly straining cock.

Joonmyeon blinked in surprise and didn't move at first, but after a couple of seconds, he offered a hesitant nod and wrapped his hand around himself in a fist before applying a swift, hard tug that had his head jerking back up away from his chest as he let out a moan.

“Slowly.”  Yixing admonished gently, leaning down to kiss Joonmyeon's upturned forehead as his chest heaved.

Joonmyeon groaned, but the next flick of his wrist was lazy and slow as Yixing transitioned to kissing the tops of his shoulders again.

“Exactly,” Yixing murmured softly as he finally drew his fingers down and pumped them back in.

Joonmyeon moaned lowly in response, pressing back against Yixing’s chest, resulting in his cock being further crushed between them.  The increase in pressure caused Yixing to moan as well, and as he felt himself swell, he pumped his fingers in again, hoping Joonmyeon would relax soon.  Yixing was already well past ready to go.

Joonmyeon continued to keep his face pressed to the side against Yixing’s neck as Yixing worked, eyes only occasionally flicking towards the mirror since the image of three fingers was apparently harder to swallow than two; however, Yixing was continuing to watch as he had since the beginning.  The sight remained amazing, even if Yixing’s body was becoming increasingly impatient and his eyes were having an increasingly harder time deciding where they should focus.

There were just so many options.

There was the image of his three fingers sliding in and out of Joonmyeon in a slow and steady rhythm that Yixing was intimately familiar with, having used it so many times on himself.

There was Joonmyeon’s hand, slowly tugging on his own leaking cock in long, lazy strokes that were occasionally broken up as Yixing’s three fingers went a little deeper, pushed a little farther, and made Joonmyeon gasp as he temporarily lost his own pace.

And, there was Joonmyeon’s face, the side of which remained firmly pressed to Yixing’s chest as he flushed, moaned, and occasionally grimaced while Yixing’s three fingers worked into him even deeper.

Thankfully, the grimaces were slowly fading out of the pattern, being replaced by wordless, open mouthed gasps and pants, and Yixing was very glad his eyes had settled on Joonmyeon’s face when his fingers pressed in while angled just right.  It meant that he got to watch as Joonmyeon’s eyes rolled back while his body spasmed against him, and also, that Yixing could see the way Joonmyeon’s mouth was hanging open even though there was no sound.

Yixing pulled his fingers back down and pressed them back up again and Joonmyeon swore as he released his own cock and reached down to grab at Yixing’s wrist.  “Fuck Xing.  Enough.”

Yixing chuckled darkly and let his fingers grind against Joonmyeon’s prostate, causing his body to jerk again as his attempts to grab at Yixing’s wrist devolved into a flailing of limbs before Yixing slowly withdrew his hand as Joonmyeon panted against his chest.  “Fucking tease.”  Joonmyeon complained breathlessly, a hand striking against Yixing’s thigh with absolutely no force.

“I learned from the best.”  Yixing said back with a dark laugh as he glanced down at Joonmyeon’s face.

Joonmyeon’s eyes widened for a second as he looked up at him.  “When the hell did I ever—”

“Shh, you should watch.”  Yixing murmured softly, raising a finger to Joonmyeon’s lips before dropping both his hands down.

He pressed Joonmyeon away from his chest for a couple of seconds, reaching down for more lube and sliding it down his length quickly before pulling Joonmyeon back as he lifted him up just enough that he was propped against Joonmyeon’s rim, rubbing gently.

Joonmyeon gasped, and then he whined as his hands reached back, trying to pull Yixing towards him.  “Xing.”

Yixing smiled and slowly began to lower Joonmyeon down.  “Watch.  Watch as I go in.”  He repeated darkly, his eyes already on the mirror, seeing his cock slowly disappear inch by heavenly inch into Joonmyeon, whose own eyes were wide, glassy, and struggling to stay focused on much of anything at all.

When Yixing bottomed out, Joonmyeon coming to rest against the base of his cock, he turned, kissing along Joonmyeon’s neck and shoulders as he struggled to retain control.  So much of him was screaming at him to move that it was almost impossible not to do so, but, Yixing resisted the urge, starting to mumble mindless encouraging things to Joonmyeon instead as he waited for him to catch back up.

“You feel amazing.”

“Just relax.”

“Breathe.”

And Yixing’s personal favorite.

“I love you,” with the occasional “fuck” mixed in as Joonmyeon’s walls flexed and pulsed around him, squeezing Yixing in ways Yixing was fairly certain he was going to become quite addicted to.

Thankfully, Yixing was also fairly certain that particular addiction wasn’t going to be causing him any long-term problems, and finally, finally, after what felt like ages, but must have in actuality been about a minute, if that, Joonmyeon slowly moved against him, lifting up the barest bit before dropping back down.

“Fuck,” He swore as Yixing’s hips reconnected with his ass, the angle slightly altered as Yixing pressed in just the tiniest bit deeper than before.

“Alright?”  Yixing managed, hands already wrapping around Joonmyeon’s hips like a vise, body virtually throbbing as it lit with mind numbing sensation.

Joonmyeon nodded somewhat weakly against Yixing’s chest as he shifted slightly, bringing Yixing even deeper.  “Yeah, you should move Xing, just move.”

Yixing nodded once as his hands squeezed tighter and leaned down to awkwardly catch Joonmyeon’s mouth in a kiss that ended with the first upward thrust of Yixing’s hips as he helped Joonmyeon bounce against him, making Joonmyeon let out a half choked cry that was followed up with a soft scream as Yixing thrust in again.

The positioning was tricky, and the angle at times was undeniably imperfect, but Yixing could see the way Joonmyeon would occasionally allow himself to just look into the mirror and watch as Yixing fucked him from below, and when he got the angle just right, Joonmyeon’s face would crumble into the most blissed out and mind blowing expressions that Yixing wanted them both to see because this was happening.

It was real.

AND

It was fucking amazing.

It just couldn’t last forever.

Yixing’s own stomach was coiling tighter as he watched Joonmyeon’s eyes snap shut and stay that way, words from his mouth becoming a veritable litany of “Please, Xing, please,” while his movements became more harried and erratic, losing any sense of rhythm or pace in favor of chasing a desperate, all consuming need for release.

Yixing didn’t say anything in response.  He didn’t need to.  Instead, he thrust into Joonmyeon hard and deep and stayed there, body trembling as his own cock pulsed with a heavy release that filled Joonmyeon as thoroughly as Yixing had promised it would just a week before.

Joonmyeon gasped at the sensation as his body stilled, and then Yixing reached down, hand still shaking, and stroked Joonmyeon’s cock.

It only took two passes for a river of come to spill out onto Yixing’s waiting palm as Joonmyeon let out a small, broken cry.

Then it was silent, save for the sounds of heavy breathing emanating from both their mouths as Joonmyeon leaned heavily into Yixing’s chest while they both slowly came back down.

Joonmyeon eventually spoke first, voice slightly hoarse, “For our honeymoon, we are going to a hotel with a mirror on the ceiling.”  He declared firmly, looking up at Yixing from where his head rested against his chest.

Yixing laughed breathlessly in response as he looked down to meet his eyes.  “Whatever you want, so long as I get to fuck you in front of it.”

Joonmyeon laughed and shook his head against Yixing’s chest before looking up at him again.  “Kiss me?”  He whispered quietly.

Yixing smiled down at him.  “Of course.”  He murmured, leaning down to capture Joonmyeon’s lips in a touch that was short, but undeniably sweet, full of sated desire and satisfaction.  “I’ll also carry you to the shower and the couch afterwards.”  He added as he pulled back, letting his nose brush against Joonmyeon’s own affectionately.

Joonmyeon laughed in response before he groaned as Yixing reached down to slowly help guide him off his softened cock.  “I think I’ll be taking you up on that.”  He murmured as he looked down at his waist, no doubt seeing the tiny trickle of come that had started to run down his thigh in the wake of Yixing’s departure.

Yixing smiled down at Joonmyeon as he carefully moved to work his arms behind his shoulders and knees.  “That’s fine,” he grunted as he stood up from the floor, straining slightly, but managing to get upright as Joonmyeon’s arms looped around his neck in surprise.  “I need practice anyways.”  Yixing added as he turned and began to move towards the bathroom door.

“For what?”  Joonmyeon asked with a laugh as Yixing made his way.

“For carrying you over the threshold of course.”  Yixing said with a laugh as he turned sideways to step into the bathroom.

Joonmyeon laughed a bit harder as he was lowered down into the tub.  “Isn’t that something the husband does for the wife?”

Yixing laughed back as he reached for the tap.  “We can take turns if you so desire.”

Joonmyeon laughed a bit harder as he shook his head and Yixing smiled a bit wider before climbing into the tub behind him and starting to clean each of Joonmyeon’s limbs carefully before even beginning to worry about his own.

By the time he was done with those as well, Joonmyeon was already close to nodding off, head occasionally lolling to the side before jerking back upright, making Yixing smile as he hauled him up from the tub and dried him off before carrying him back to the bed.

“I thought you said the couch.”  Joonmyeon mumbled out, voice barely comprehensible as Yixing set about getting Joonmyeon situated atop his own chest on the bed.

“I did,” Yixing murmured out, leaning down to kiss the top of Joonmyeon’s head, “But the bed is more comfortable, and I don’t have to work until the afternoon.”

Joonmyeon let out a sigh and snuggled into Yixing’s chest.  “Don’t work at all.  Just stay with me.”  He whined, and Yixing chuckled softly as one of his arms wrapped around Joonmyeon’s waist, holding him in place against him.

“Always.  I promise.”  He murmured softly, leaning down to kiss Joonmyeon's hair again.

Like so many times before, Joonmyeon said nothing back, already lulled to sleep by the sound of Yixing’s heartbeat echoing in his ear.


End file.
